Frankenshoes: The Ultima Shoe by Gold Dot

super high platform shoes

Look, we like high heels as much as the next woman. More, even. We’re also no strangers to the ridiculously high platform, and when people gasp in horror and say, “But how can you WALK in them?!” we simply raise one eyebrow and think, why wouldn’t we be able to walk in them? They’re shoes, after all. If it wasn’t possible to walk in them, they wouldn’t be available to buy.

OR WOULD THEY?

These shoes, you see, would give even The Fashion Police pause for thought, and not JUST because they’re so ugly we’ve had to send one of the officers out to stock up on eyeball bleach. No, it’s because of the 3.5″ platform. That’s higher than many heels, folks, and THEN there’s a heel on top of it. So, you wouldn’t want to be the clumsy type, is what we’re saying. Or the stylish type, come to think of it, because these, well, aren’t. Or not in our humble opinion, anyway: you are, as always, free to differ, and you’re also free to spend $190 on them.

Do you think you could walk in them?

[Buy them]

3 Comments

  • August 14, 2012

    lizvocal

    My knees are swelling up just looking at them, so no, no walking for me. Of course, they are so ugly, I am not tempted to try, either.

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  • August 15, 2012

    Carolina W

    The only redeeming quality of these things, if you could call it that, would have to be the spikes. I mean, it would really hurt if you kicked someone in the crotch, at least, right?

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    • August 15, 2012

      lizvocal

      And you would have to kick anyone laughing at your very expensive, very ugly shoes, wouldn’t you?

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