If these shoes were a person, they’d be Dame Barbara Cartland. They’d spend their days in a pink frilly boudoir, surrounded by fluffy white dogs with bows in their hair, drinking champagne (pink, natch) and re-applying their lipstick every couple of minutes.
And if that doesn’t make them a crime of fashion, well, we don’t know what does.
Oh, and they’re £819, too. Click here to buy them.