Frankenshoes: Gold Dot ‘Paige’ platform boots

Gold Dot Paige boots

The Fashion Police are dedicated to the art of walking in heels. We think nothing of donning a pair of skyscrapers to chase down fashion criminals or patrol the mean streets of Fashion Land. But we think even we might have to draw the line at these, because they’re possibly the first shoes we’ve seen that have forced us to utter the words, “But how on EARTH are you supposed to walk in them?!”

We’re assuming there must be a way to do it. These are sold out at SoleStruck, after all, and we don’t expect all those people coughed up $245.95 just to sit and admire them. Every time we look at them, though, we imagine ourselves falling backwards, and landing on our asses. And that’s a look that’s never in fashion.

What do you think: could you walk in these?


  • May 1, 2012


    I don’t think I could, but they must have extra weight built into the front so that you can’t rock around in them as easily. And yet all of the constituent parts look really easy to walk in…

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  • May 1, 2012

    Sarah via Facebook

    Oh Yuk.

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  • May 2, 2012

    Liz in Paris

    Aside from the small matter of whether the wearer could walk in them, why would anyone want their feet to look so massively clumpy? Horses’ hooves are Jimmy Choos by comparison. There are lots of other ways to stand out from the crowd for $250!

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  • May 3, 2012

    Tina via Facebook

    not in a million years i will ever wear these…yuck…

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  • May 6, 2012

    Carolina W

    What’s that saying…”When hell freezes over?”

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