In a bid to prevent racegoers dressing like they’re going to a nightclub – or to the circus, depending on your point of view – Royal Ascot organisers have decided to tighten up on the ol’ dresscode. As of this year, female racegoers will have to wear:
1. Hats, as opposed to fascinators. (in the less formal grandstand, hats OR fascinators will be obligatory: they were previously optional-but-recommended.)
2. “Modest” skirts or dresses – i.e. hemlines must be just above the knee or longer.
3. Tops with straps: no strapless tops or dresses allowed. Or else.
Men, meanwhile, will be expected to wear waistcoats and ties inside the enclosure (no cravats, you peasants!), and suits and ties in the grandstand.
So, in conclusion:
What do you think? Are you pleased to see a return to “standards” with a strongly-enforced dress code, or do you think people should be free to wear whatever they want, regardless of the circumstances?
(For the record, we’re all for the dress codes, if only because at least people know where they stand that way. And let’s face it: a lot of people just don’t have a CLUE how to dress themselves. You can tell purely by the number of people who find this website after searching for the words “Can I wear jeans to a wedding?” And we just know that if you give them an inch, they’ll turn up in an adult onesie one of these days, bleating, “BUT IT’S SOOOO COMFY!”)
It’s OK, settle down at the back there: we know you don’t think Pippa Middelton‘s fashion sense is ever worth talking about, but it’s OK, this isn’t about Pippa, she’s here purely for the purposes of illustration.
And what is Pippa “Perfect Butt” Middleton here to illustrate, we hear you ask? Why, she’s illustrating the wearing of navy and black. Together. In the same outfit. Once considered to be the severest of fashion crimes (Penalty: social death.), this colour combo is one that pops up all the time these days, to the extent that there are probably kids alive today who have NO IDEA this was once considered a crime, imagine.
Is it, though? Well, Pippa Middelton obviously doesn’t think so, as she heads to work in her navy top and black blazer. But what would Pippa Middelton know? It’s the opinions of our Fashion Jurors we want to hear, so have at it, folks: what do you think of the wearing of navy and black?
If it’s more often than once every three months, then prepare for a shock, because a team of brave volunteers in Australia have undertaken a study to prove what The Fashion Police have known for quite some time: that jeans don’t really need to be washed all that often.
The project, led by Tullia Jack, as part of her masters thesis, saw 30 men and women wear the same pair of jeans five days per week, for three months, without washing them. And how did the jeans smell by the end? “Not that bad,” apparently. Jack’s groundbreaking conclusion: “You really don’t need to wash clothes as often as you think. Stains come and go, they just wear off.”
To us, this seems kind of like those expensive studies we’re always reading about in the press, which tell us things like “if you’re thirsty, water will help” or “if you eat too much food, you might get fat”. Indeed, we discussed the issue of clothes washing last year, and most of you seemed to be in agreement that, for most clothes, excessive washing is just bad for them: it fades the colours, changes the shape, wears out the fabric… and while a well-worn pair of jeans can look even better than a brand spanking new pair, this is particularly true of denim, which we tend to wash only when it needs it (or when we want the jeans in question to fit a little tighter).
Obviously this isn’t the case with all garments and some most definitely need to be washed after every wear, but where do you stand on jeans? Are you flabbergasted by the news that they don’t need to be washed constantly, or did you know it all along?
(Did anyone else read that line to the tune of Salt n’ Pepa’s ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’? Because, if so, our work here is done.)
For the past few months, you see, our fashion friends have been getting very, very excited about tights. This happens every year, and is part of the whole “OMG Autumn is my favourite season!” trend evident in fashion blogging, and the excitement mostly revolves around all of the good things that tights bring to the world of style. For instance:
1. They keep your legs warm. Well, d’uh.
2. Thick tights make it possible to get away with wearing shorter skirts than you’d wear with bare legs.
3. Brightly coloured tights add a multitude of styling possibilities to your closet, and also have the ability to make a plain outfit look instantly more interesting.
4. Don’t love your legs? Tights to the rescue!
So tights, as you can see, are beloved by fashionistas for many, many good reasons.
Despite this, though, we hate them.
Now, we have to make it clear here that we don’t hate the way tights LOOK. We’re fine with the way they look. Sometimes we even like it. So we would in no way say tights were a crime of fashion, and we very much agree with each of the four positives above.
We still hate wearing them, though, and every year, as women across the land start to enthuse about the prospect of slipping into a pair of opaque tights AT LAST, we look forward to tights season with dread. This is mostly because we find them just plain uncomfortable. The way the crotch always seems to be heading towards your knees, forcing you to haul it up every few steps. The saggy knees. The toe seam, when it gets caught underneath your toe making you feel like there’s something stuck in your shoe. That feeling of being tightly encased from waist to toe. HATE. IT. And sure, some brands are better than others, and not all tights are horribly uncomfortable, but even the most comfortable pair of tights is less comfortable than an outfit that doesn’t involve tights.
We realise we’re alone in our hatred of the fashion-lover’s BFF, however, so please feel free to share your love of tights in the comments section now. Do you love them? Or do you look forward, like us, to the days when you can go without them once more?
How do we know this? Because at around about this time every year (and sometimes even earlier), all of our favourite fashion bloggers start talking excitedly about coats! and boots! And coloured tights! And long winter evenings spent snuggled up in front of a roaring log fire, roasting chestnuts, singing songs, and generally behaving like the rich people in Charles Dickens novels.
Not us, though.
The Fashion Police hate winter almost as much as we hate harem pants. More, even. And yeah, sure, coats are OK. Some coats are even awesome. No coat is worth shivering for eight months over, though, and as for boots? Well, boots are OK, too - especially these ones – but they’re not nearly as much fun as shoes, so we’d gladly exchange those for a few extra weeks of warm weather, too.
Give us summer any day: or even spring, we’re not that picky. We hate having the cold weather dictate our clothing choices. We hate the fact that most dresses have either short or three-quarter length sleeves, so we put them on in winter and then instantly have to cover them up with a cardigan, just to keep warm. We hate tights. coloured or otherwise – not because we don’t like the look of them, you understand, but because they’re just not comfortable. We hate the sheer fussiness of having to wear multiple layers of clothing, all at the same time, so we don’t freeze. Oh, and we don’t even own a log fire.
OK, that’s more than enough complaining from us. For now, anyway. Tell us, though: is there anyone else out there who ISN’T giddy with excitement at the thought of winter fashion? What’s YOUR favourite fashion season?
Yesterday we talked about how bootcut jeans are kicking skinnies in the denim ass as far as eBay sales are concerned. Today we want to introduce some other types of jeans into the fray, and start a full-scale denim war. Imagine armies of jeans, all battling for dominance. Who will win? YOU DECIDE! (Sorry, we thought we were on Big Brother for a second there…)
The question is simple: WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE TYPE OF JEAN?
To make it simpler still, we’ve included a poll. Please feel free to elaborate on your vote in the comments, so we can all argue over something as trivial as denim.
(We’re joking: let’s not argue. In fact, let’s all have a big, denim-clad hug. Only after you’ve placed your vote below, though…)
This weekend poor Pippa Middleton was forced to relinquish her Daily Mail Girl of the Moment crown, when she managed to rile the tabloid by committing the cardinal sin of wearing green to a wedding: an act, which, the Fail points out, is “traditionally associated with bad luck”.
The Mail have charged Pippa with, not one, but TWO crimes of fashion:
1. Wearing green to a wedding: outlawed as described above
2. Wearing high heels to the same wedding. According to the Mail, “the aristocratic set consider heels unsightly at weddings. Only kitten-heeled shoes are deemed acceptable in the country.”
Our eyes are rolling so much right now they’re in danger of dropping right out of our heads.
To address the first point: we thought we’d heard all of the “bad luck” stories associated with colours and weddings, but “never wear green” somehow managed to pass us by. A quick Google search reveals that brides be crazy, there are all kinds of superstitions associated with weddings – so much so that we’re now REALLY glad we’re not superstitious, because it must be exhausting going through life like that, seriously. On the subject of wearing green, however, we learned that it’s considered bad luck for the BRIDE to wear green, unless it’s an Irish wedding, in which case it’s OK for the bride to wear green, but bad luck for anyone else to wear green. Are you following this? Some people, however, also believe it’s bad luck for ANYONE to wear green at a wedding, although opinions differ on whether it’s the newly wedded couple who will be cursed, or the person wearing the green. Or perhaps just passers-by, or the vicar’s cat, or something. Seriously, our brief journey into the world of weddings and superstitions has left our heads spinning, and NOTHING would surprise us now. NOTHING.
(The Chief of Police would just like to take a quick moment here to apologise to all of the couples whose marriages are now doomed because she wore green to their weddings. She is sorry. She is also now wearing a tinfoil helmet and living inside a special padded room, just in case it’s HERSELF she’s doomed in this way. Fashion: so much more dangerous and complicated than you might think!)
Anyway, our point here: we think Pippa’s probably fine. Unless it was the wedding of a particularly superstitious couple, we doubt they’re seriously upset by this so-called “faux pas”, so we’re not going to bother arresting Pippa for committing it. Whew!
On the “high heels are unsightly” thing: meh. Whatevs. We’re most definitely not aristocrats, so we have no idea whether they do, indeed, have a “only wear kitten heels in the country, dahlink,” rule, but we’ve never really considered kitten heels to be “sightly” anywhere, so we’re happy to completely ignore this one, too. (OK, we guess if you were “in the country” in the sense of “wading through fields”, then you won’t want to be wearing heels. But given that this is a wedding, we feel safe in assuming that it didn’t take place in a farmer’s field, and no heels were damaged.)
What do you think, though, jurors? Have you heard of the “never wear green to a wedding” rule? Would you obey it, if you have? What about high heels in the country? Fashion faux pas, or yet another ridiculous fashion rule which was made to be broken?
Our posts about Christina Hendricks’ breasts over the past couple of days got us wondering where you guys stand on the cleavage issue. This seems to be one of those questions which divides people, because whereas the first post had many of you commenting that the cleavage was “too much”, the follow-up attracted a few “if you’ve got it, flaunt it”, and “her breasts are great: why should she hide them?” comments: where’s the happy medium, we wonder? Is there one?
Just to clarify: Christina Hendricks does, indeed, have a fabulous figure – no one is denying that. But we think there does come a point when “flaunting” crosses a line into vulgarity, and we’re wondering where that line begins. For us, probably at the point where you look at someone’s outfit and don’t really notice what they’re wearing, because all you can think is “WHOA! BOOBS!” Or when the breasts appear to be trying to escape a too-small dress.
What do you think? How much cleavage is too much cleavage? And is Lindsay Lohan, above, crossing that line?
