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Archive for the ‘Fashion Police Glossary’ Category
Thursday, August 27th, 2009
The fashion world, like any other industry, is full of its own little phrases and buzzwords: in fact, there are so many of them that we had to start developing a glossary.
Of course, some of these terms are great, while others… aren’t. Some even start off sounding great, but gradually become irritating through sheer repetition. Here are five of the phrases that we currently wish we could send to jail*. Feel free to add your own in the comments box!
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When we posted about the UK's Worst Fashion Crimes yesterday, a couple of you said you weren't sure what "shell suits" were – and, of course, you wouldn't as these were mostly a British phenomenon, with the US being mercifully spared the worst of it, as far as we're aware.
The Shell Suit came to fashion prominence in- when else? – the 80s and is so far one of the few trends from that decade that has yet to be revived by over-enthusiastic fashion designers. This is something we're really, really glad about, because as the image above shows, Shell Suits were nylon-coated track pants and zip up tops, usually designed in the most garish colours possible (this one is actually quite tame) – well, it was the 80s, after all.
(Note: the image above is actually fancy dress costume, which tells you all you need to know about shell suits. The suit itself is an accurate representation of what they looked like, though.)
Although technically "leisure wear", shell suits were worn for more or less everything during the 80s, ideally with neon mismatched socks and, if you were female, a pony tail placed right on the very top of your head. Sometimes as ysterday's survey indicated, they were tucked into socks. No matter where you went, you'd see gangs of people walking around in nylon suits: they were like the Crocs of the 80s, and they were almost breathtaking in their ugliest, but, like Crocs, that didn't stop lots of people buying and wearing them.
It's been a long time now since shell suits were a common sight on the streets of Britain, and long may it remain that way. We can only assume thaht their presence in the "Top 10 Fashin Crimes" list is an indication of how deep the scars left by these items still run. Try not to have nightmares, folks…
They say you learn something every day, and today The Fashion Police learned that the strange boot/sandal hybrids we've been seeing so much of in the fashion world recently actually have a name. They're called bandals. (Boot/sandals. You see what they did there?)
Yes, the same fashion writers (or at least, we'd assume it was the same ones) who brought us the terms "jeggings" and "shants" have done it again, cunningly mashing two words together, in roughly the same way Office must have mashed a boot and flip-flop together to create these 'Harp' thong booties. Sorry, we mean bandals.
So now you know, folks. Now you know.
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
 Continuing in our occasional series in which we provide definitions of some of the terms used here at The Fashion Police, we bring you the very embodiment of the term "Daylight Robbery", in the shape of the cropped jersey trousers you see to the left.
Daylight Robbery offences are distinct from crimes of fashion in that the items concerned are not always ugly (although some are, of course). Take these trousers. No, they're not the most exciting items in the world – they're a little saggy and sad looking, but they're the kind of thing you might wear around the house if you just wanted to be comfortable and relax.
But they're £255 / $370. Not a huge amount of money in the great scheme of things, but expensive for a pair of cropped jersey pants.
Why is this, do you think? Is it because they're of superior quality? Well, they're a nylon/rayon mix, which doesn't sound particularly luxurious to us. Are they a totally unique design? Again, we've seen lots of pairs of pants like this, so no, not really. Was their designer up all night, in a fever of creativity, in order to come up with a piece of wearable art? We doubt it.
Is it just because they're designed by Rick Owens, then? We think we could be onto something, here. In fact, we strongly suspect the only reason people would consider these to be worth that amount of money, is because of the label inside them. That, readers, is what makes them an act of Daylight Robbery.
What do you think, though? Would you pay £255 for something like this? Are we missing something?
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009
 Definition: In the language we like to think of as “fashion-speak”, a “shress” is simply a sheer dress. Sheer dress = “shress”. See what they did there?
(See also: “Shants“)
The “shress” first came to the notice of the Fashion Police in the 2007/2008 season, when various designers (Dior, Christopher Kane, etc) began parading them down their runways. Clearly these designers were (mostly) just having a laugh, but some retailers decided to take the so-called “trend” seriously, and tried to flog the “shresses” to unsuspecting buyers, thus creating an “Emperor’s New Clothes” type scenario in which people would be expected to pay a small fortune for… well, nothing really.
And still it goes on. The Fashion Police have yet to hear of anyone other than Agyness Deyn (who doesn’t really count) actually wearing a “shress” in real life, but some retailers continue to offer them for sale. The one on this page is a particularly good example of the breed, allowing its wearer to essentially walk around naked, having paid £180 for the privilege. We wouldn’t really class it as “not safe for work” because we think the model’s wearing a flesh-coloured thong, but we’re putting it behind a cut, just to be on the safe side.
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Thursday, January 8th, 2009
Things are getting out of hand in the world of “words invented by fashion writers”, aren’t they? We’ve had “shants” (”sheer pants”, to the uninitiated), “shresses” (sheer dresses) and, of course “treggings” (a cross between trousers and leggings), and now the good folks at ASOS.com* have been at it again, using the terms “jegging” to denote a cross between leggings and jeans.
Why yes, that IS the same thing as “denim leggings”, now you mention it, and actually, they’re not a kick in the ass off a little something we at The Fashion Police like to call “skinny jeans”, either. We have no particular beef with the leggings themselves: we learned to accept leggings a while ago, and as we say, these are too close to skinny jeans for us to have serious issues with them, but we would like to call a halt to the coining of stupid names that’s been going on in fashion-land for a while now.
Seriously, why do denim leggings need to be referred to as “jeggings”? And while we’re on the subject, why are “jeggings” (shudder) singled out for special attention? Where will it all end? Will we be forced to start referring to black leggings as “bleggings”, red ones as “reggings” and those shiny, latex ones that’ve been everywhere lately as “sheggings”? We think that’s the way it’s going, and let us be the first to stick our heads above the parapet and say WE REFUSE. We will call them “leggings” and we don’t care who corrects us. Who’s with us?
* Note: the ASOS.com example was the first we happened to come across of the use of “jegging” but for all we know, they may not be the only ones…
Thursday, October 30th, 2008
 Impostor Footwear: the Fashion Police cells are absolutely full of it, but what is it, we hear you ask?
Impostor Footwear is exactly what the name suggests: shoes, boots and socks that are all pretending to be something they’re not. In other words: impostors. Into this category go the Boots-Pretending-to-Be-Shoes, the Socks-Pretending-to-Be-Boots, and everything in between.
Although some forms of Impostor Footwear can look perfectly fine, the truth is that most Footwear Impostors are also Fashion Criminals, so we’ve included a Rogue’s Gallery of them under the jump, to help you identify the miscreants, should the need arise…
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Tuesday, August 19th, 2008
 As we wrote our post on Ann Demeulemeester’s sheer pants (or “shants”) this week, it occurred to us that there are lots of terms used here at The Fashion Police that our readers may not be familiar with, so we’ve taken it upon ourselves to list and explain those words, providing a handy reference for new and old readers alike. And we’re starting off with shants…
Word: Shants (noun): from the term “sheer pants” and referring to a pair of pants (or trousers, if you’re in the UK), which are are totally sheer.
Crime of Fashion? Oh hell, yes: in fact, we’d venture to suggest that shants are one of the biggest fashion crimes out there. Take a look under the jump if you don’t believe us…
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