Fashion Criminal: Sienna Miller

Sienna Miller in Short Dress with Cowboy Boots

I actually think I might hate this dress, I really and truly due. I mean, Sienna’s walking along there, all, “Hey, I have great legs! I can totally get away with this!” and sure, she does have great legs. That’s not in dispute. But the dress? Oh, my eyes! I know floral print is big right now, but really, so is that dress, and when I say “big” I mean “baggy, shapeless and ugly”. Sorry, Sienna, but someone had to say it. Length aside, it’s the kind of thing you wouldn’t be surprised to see on a pensioner. And this is the woman who’s supposed to be the UK’s biggest fashion icon at the moment, is it? For shame…

The funniest thing about this picture, though? It’s the expression on the guy’s face in the background. Dude’s all, “The hell?” In fact, he looks pretty much how I looked when I saw this picture:

Sienna shock

Sienna Miller (and the granny pants she rode in on…)

I think Anna Wintour’s expression says it all, really:


Seriously, I’ve had nightmares where I’m out dressed like this. You know those dreams where you look down and suddenly realise that you forgot to put on your skirt – and worse, you’re wearing you biggest, ugliest pair of granny knickers? Well, Sienna is living the dream, folks – or that nightmare, rather, and we’re sending her straight to fashion jail for it. Sienna? You need to get over this whole “I’m so pretty I can wear anything and get away with it, and people will totally just think how quirky and stylish I am,” thing you’ve got going on. No, you can’t get away with just wearing a pair of control-top knickers. No, we won’t all be searching eBay for “Sienna’s big pants” in a few weeks time. Now, go and get dressed, woman…

Separated at Birth: Sienna Miller and Pat Butcher

Now, I know Sienna Miller is always being held up as some kind of style icon (although for the life of me I don’t know why), but in this still from Factory Girl she reminds me of no one more than Pat Butcher of Eastenders fame. (And yes, I know this photo isn’t of the real Pat Butcher. But you get the picture)


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