Fashion Criminal: Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Nope, your eyes do not deceive you (although they may well be bleeding if you’ve been looking at this picture for any length at all). That’s Scarlett Johansson, and yes, that’s a boiler suit she’s wearing, and ohmygod, there are no words.

Oh no, wait, there are words: the words are WHAT THE HELL? What on earth possessed the woman? Pretty face, great figure – and she goes and wastes it all with a freakin’ boiler suit. We all know not to wear boiler suits. Hell, even my six year old niece knows not to wear boiler suits: in terms of crimes of fashion, they’re right up there with dungaree dresses and braces.

Scarlett’s all “Yeah, so I am wearing a boiler suit, you wanna make something of it?” Well, yeah, Scarlett, now you come to mention it, we kind of do. You’re standing there thinking that you’re hot enough to get away with things like this. We’re here to tell you that you’re not. Yes, you’re still pretty and hot, but your boiler suit is most definitely not.

Now go and put some real clothes on, like a good girl.

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