Celebrity Fashion

Fashion Police in Cannes: The Pirates of the Caribbean premiere

Luckily for The Fashion Police, not everyone in Cannes chose to go almost naked. All of the celebrities at the Pirates of the Caribbean premiere, for instance, were at least clothed. Were they well clothed, however? Well, that’s what we’re about to decide.

Let’s start with Paz Vega.

Now, Paz is one of our style crushes. She is almost always impeccable, and she is the proud holder of more than one Fashion Police gold star, for that very reason. So when we saw the top half of her outfit, we were really excited:

Now this wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste, obviously, especially given the high neck and long sleeves. But we fully expected to love it: it has a real vintage, 60s feel to it (it’s actually Azzaro 2010), and it makes a nice change from all of the flesh-flashers we tend to see on the red carpet these days.

Then we saw the bottom half:

Oh. It’s a clownsuit jumpsuit. A red carpet clownsuit jumpsut. It’s not even remotely flattering, although we guess the awkward, “about to fall off my shoes” pose doesn’t help.

As for the shoes:

We like them. They didn’t deserve to be paired with this jumpsuit, did they?

But enough about Paz Vega. Here’s Uma Thurman:

We kind of want to iron her. Other than that, we’re underwhelmed.

Thankfully, Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp managed to rise to the occasion:

At first glance, we loved Penelope’s dress. But… it has a flesh-coloured lining. And figure-skaters have made the flesh-coloured lining their own, really, haven’t they? We don’t know: we might be willing to give her pass for the overall impression, and we really love her hair and makeup:

Beautiful, no?

Finally, here’s Hofit Golan:

Hofit Golan really confuses us. Who is she? We can’t seem to figure that out, and yet she’s everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Is Hofit Golan stalking us? We think so. Google tells us she’s a “socialite”. Huh. Anyway, we like her dress. We don’t know why she’s there, wearing it, but she is looking good, don’t you think?

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