Fashion Police at the Golden Globes: Angelina Jolie

Angelina jolie golden globes 2007

Now, I ask you: does this look to you like a dress that has been hand-made by a team of designers working around the clock because its owner threw a strop, decided she didn’t have A THING to wear, and threatened to thkweam and thkwean until she was SICK unless they made something JUST FOR HER, pronto?

Nope, didn’t think so.

Grey, it is not a great colour for an evening dress, Angelina, and while there is a certain argument says you’d look good in a sack, there’s really no need to try it and see, is there? Perhaps the black woulda been the better bet after all…



Beyonce golden globes 2007

Beyonce at the 2007 Golden Globes

Oh, holy hell, Beyonce, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit… Did your mom make this dress for you? Did you make the fatal mistake of thinking, “Hell, my body is HAWT, I can totally get away with a shiny, bacofoil dress split RIGHT DOWN TO MY BELLY BUTTON, HA!” Did you, Beyonce? Because we are here to tell you you were wrong. What makes it worse? It’s the pose, Beyonce, the pose. Why did you do it to yourself?


Cameron diaz golden globes 2007

You know, a lot of people have been expecting us to bring poor ol’ Cameron in for this dress, but actually? I like it. Yes, I know, it surprised me too. It’s maybe not so much a Golden Globes dress, but hey, it would look pretty at a wedding – in fact, I’m pretty sure Monique Lhuillier put something a lot like this down her catwalk recently. Her bridal catwalk, that is.

All of that said, I think Cam’s looking mighty fine here. Love the drak hair/red lips/alabaster skin thing she’s got going on, and while, OK, this was an unusual choice for an awards show, I think it was a pretty brave one, and I think it just about paid off. So there.

Another one after the cut….

Cameron diaz leo di caprio golden globes 2007

I mean, come ON, people, lookit how cute she looks! And how… plump… Leo Dicaprio looks…


Jennifer lopez golden globes 2007

My irrational hatred of Jennifer Lopez makes it hard for me to say this, so I’m just going to come right out with it: nice dress J.Lo. And also: well done – you managed to do understated chic, without so much of a whiff of your usual “Look at me! LOOK AT ME! I AM J.LO! JENNY FROM THE BLOCK, Y’ALL!” Well, OK, maybe just a whiff…

America Ferrera

America Ferrera 2007 golden globes

Awards season must totally suck when you play Ugly Betty, no? I mean, you think you have a hard time deciding what to wear, imagine what it must be like being America Ferrera, with everyone watching you and wondering whether you’re going to be, well, ugly, or not? Well, she needn’t have worried: she is anything but ugly. This is such a flattering choice of dress – gorgeous shape, gorgeous colour, and HOT DAMN, would you look at the gorgeous curves on the woman?!

Kate Winslet

Kate Winslet 2007 Golden Globes

Hey look, Kate Winslet came as a bride too<! How about that, then? Actually, Kate’s lookin’ pretty good too: but then, she always does, doesn’t she? Maybe just a wee bit pale for the dress, bit otherwise, take a Fashion Police gold star, girl. Just make sure you don’t go drinking any red wine…

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