Fashion Criminal of the Year, 2008: Jodie Marsh

Spl68960_0061 And so another year of Fashion Crime-fighting draws (almost) to a close. The Fashion Police will, of course, be back to fight crimes in 2009, but first we must consider one important question: who was the biggest fashion criminal of 2008?

To this, we feel there is only one answer: Jodie Marsh.

Now, every time we arrest Jodie Marsh, we’re accused of shooting fish in a barrel, and we have to confess: it’s a fair comment. Being the Fashion Police, though, we don’t feel we can just ignore Ms Marsh and her transgressions, especially when she works so hard to get our attention.

There is one outfit alone, however, that would have won Jodie the title of Fashion Criminal of the Year, even if she’d spent the rest of 2008 being the epitome of style. That outfit is the one she wore to her 30th birthday party, and we’ve put it below the jump because, be warned, this image is not safe for work. Or, indeed, for any other viewing really, but here we go anyway…


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In fairness to Jodie, we must point out that this appears to have been a costume party, so she is probably in "fancy" dress. Even so, though, we can’t help but feel there’s really NEVER an excuse to be out in public dressed like this, don’t you? And so this one outfit earns her the title of Fashion Criminal of the Year. If you think someone else was more deserving of the title, however, you can leave us a comment with your suggestion!

17 Comments

  • December 30, 2008

    Evelyn

    What is the opposite to eye candy anyway? Eye poison? Eye contaminant? Regardless, you have my vote as well.
    I notice you didn’t compare her to a stripper but I assume you didn’t want to insult the profession.

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  • December 30, 2008

    The Princess

    You know, this one is perfect. We applaud your selection!
    Happy-Happy and Merry-Merry New Year to our favorite law enforcement authorities!
    tp
    🙂

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  • December 30, 2008

    Anna

    For that little number she should get named Fashion Criminal of the Century. That is just… not okay. At all.

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  • December 31, 2008

    JO

    Embarrassment can be guaranteed just by looking.

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  • December 31, 2008

    Amber

    Evelyn, I think strippers generally wear a little more than this 🙂

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  • December 31, 2008

    Mer

    HOLY SWEET JESUS!!!!
    …Phew. I went and looked at pictures of Kate Moss and now I’m feeling better. Yeah, she wins, hands down.

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  • January 2, 2009

    KT

    I’m just going to close my eyes now and look at pictures of Jackie O. later and hope everything will be okay in the end.

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  • January 2, 2009

    Cadi

    Oh dear. Who looks at this and thinks “YES! THAT is a woman I want to both take seriously AND bring home to mom.”

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  • January 2, 2009

    Cadi

    Oi. Hold on. She’s not only an EPIC hooch, she’s a 30 year old EPIC hooch. Granted I’m usually in the “If you’ve got it, rock it” side of things, but this isn’t rocking it, this is baring it all and jiggling it in your face.

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  • January 3, 2009

    E.

    So it ís true what they say about pictures and thousand words. I’m speechless.

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  • January 3, 2009

    lorrwill

    Wow. She has definitely redefined “skank” and brought it to a whole new low.

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  • January 4, 2009

    Veronika

    wouldn’t u think she’d have some sense by now that she’s 30? guess not:D how ridiculous!

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  • January 19, 2009

    Joey Sauer

    I love Jodie Marsh! I admit this outfit is just too much, even for her. She is great though, her show marriage show ‘Who Will Take Jodie Up The Aisle?’ was great, and her book ‘Keeping it Real’ was a very interesting read. (She WAS a stripper when she was younger!) Keep up the craziness Jodie! 😀

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  • January 23, 2009

    Claudia

    I didn’t know people were allowed to wear something like that in public. Gahh…

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  • March 14, 2009

    Elizabeth

    ayayay

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  • May 30, 2009

    Diandra

    Wow. Excellent choice!

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  • July 5, 2009

    rajesh

    What a (.)(.) . Very Very NICE

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Fashion Criminal: Bjork in Lanvin

Bjork

Way back in August of last year we identified this Lanvin dress as a crime of fashion. This is why.

Bjork? I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to accompany us down to the station…

3 Comments

  • February 5, 2008

    Elliot

    I adore Björk in Lanvin, though this picture doesn’t accurately showcase how she wears the dress. Yes, the creation accentuates the arms & hips, but the chemistry works very well when seen outside of low quality scans and bad lighting, both present in the above photo.
    For a different side, see more pictures here:
    http://www.bjorkish.net/pictures/2008/candid/bjorkish_0202_02.jpg
    http://www.bjorkish.net/pictures/2008/candid/bjorkish_0202_01.jpg
    http://www.bjorkish.net/pictures/2008/candid/bjorkish_0202_03.jpg

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  • February 6, 2008

    The Fashion Police

    Elliot – Sorry to say it, but I think the dress looks equally bad in all of those photos.

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  • February 6, 2008

    DD

    This is just hideous, no matter what angle the photos taken from. I love Bjork, but I hate this dress!

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Fashion Criminal: Jamie Winstone is all white on the night

Jamiewinstone

Jamie Winstone is apparently a British actress. We mention this, not just for the benefit of those of you who haven’t heard of her, but because I guess there’s an outside chance she was in costume when this picture was taken. Or, you know, getting into character as Madonna-in-the-eighties or Sharon-Stone-in-a-white-jumpsuit. Because that’s what this looks like, doesn’t it? A white jumpsuit, I mean.  It’s either that or it’s some heinous white pants/white basque/white bolero combo, and either way, it’s not looking good, is it? I mean, we’ll accept some eighties fashion statements, like leggings and leg-warmers, but we just can’t learn to love the white, tapered leg jump suit. (We’d also take issue with the "wearing dark glasses at night" fashion crime, but I think we have enough to deal with here as it is). Can you?

1 Comment

  • November 12, 2007

    Cadi

    She looks like she’s wrapped in white butcher paper.

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Fashion Criminal: Brooke Hogan. Again.

Brookehogan

Since we last arrested Brooke Hogan for crimes against fashion, I regret to say that I am no further forward in my quest to find out who the hell she actually is. At this point, though, it hardly matters, because if crimes of fashion really were punishable by law, it’s clear to me that this one dress would get Brooke here put away for a very long time. A Fashion Criminal of the Year in the making for sure…

8 Comments

  • October 3, 2007

    Kerry

    Brooke Hogan is the daughter of US Pro-Wrestler Hulk Hogan. There is a ridiculous reality tv show featuring the whole Hogan family. Interestingly, Brooke Hogan is considered hot by some.

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  • October 3, 2007

    Nanatoo

    Oh.My.God.Not.Again.
    She looks like one of the Flintstones! Wait, no, scratch that, the Flintstones wouldn’t be caught dead in that… thing!
    Oh, and also: Brooke Hogan is Hulk Hogan’s daughter and also a so-called singer

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  • October 4, 2007

    Robin Claire

    Oh…dear…god…
    WHY?!
    /shades eyes

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  • October 4, 2007

    patsystonewannabe

    I just Googled her… apparently she’s only 19. Then why (God, why?!?) is she dressing like a desperate 40-something hasbeen? Seriously? Does she not realise that this dress and that hair & makeup makes her look about 45+?
    Gah!

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  • October 4, 2007

    Orla

    This ensemble is truly amazing. A mix of trailer trash and stripper chic that only a ludicrously fame hungry person could ever be seen in.
    She’s younger than me, this is the most depressing news I have ever heard. (ish)

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  • October 5, 2007

    Fashiongeek

    Robin: she looks like she’s 45 all the time.

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  • October 7, 2007

    Nicole

    This outfit makes her look like a blown up cheetah…with only half of her fur!!!

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  • November 4, 2007

    NaeNae

    “…is the daughter of US Pro-Wrestler…”
    There’s your answer right there. Look at the fashion choices she grew up around. Girl never had a chance.

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Fashion Criminal: Mandy Moore and her nipple-accentuating dress

Mandymooresnipples

I stumbled across this picture of Mandy Moore fairly randomly, so I have no idea how current it is, but I’m sure you’ll agree there was just no way we could turn a blind eye to a fashion crime of this magnitude. Now, as far as fashion goes, nipples just don’t exist. Or they shouldn’t, anyway. If we can see your nipples, you’re doing something wrong. Do you hear that, Mandy? Are you taking notes?

This dress doesn’t just reveal Mandy’s nipples, though: oh no, its crime is far worse than that – this dress actually draws attention to them. It’s like, "Hi! We’re Mandy’s nipples! Lookit us! Wanna play?" Someone throw the girl a cardigan, quick!

Comments are closed.

Fashion Criminal: Sarah Jessica Parker and the oversized dress

Sarahjessicaparker

Quick, someone call The Fashion Police, Sarah Jessica Parker is being mugged by a dress! Oh no, wait…. we are The Fashion Police. OK, well, Sarah Jessica? Honey? I know you’re, like, this famous fashionista and all, but let me share with you one of The Fashion Police’s top fashion tips. It’s this: no matter what you wear, you have to make sure it fits you properly. Now, this dress may well be the right size for you, I don’t know. The fact is, it looks too big, and if it looks too big, well, it may as well be too big. I mean, lookit your tiny little pinhead and your huge, Popeye arms! Now, we all know you don’t actually have a tiny little pin head or gigantic Popeye arms, so that must mean there’s something very wrong with this dress. And there is.

Love the shoes, though.

4 Comments

  • August 1, 2007

    Kittenplan

    To be fair, it’s just the cropped jacket that’s insanely pouffy–the dress she’s wearing underneath was stunning and looked great on her. But that jacket is horrid–even if it’s Valentino or whatevs.

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  • August 1, 2007

    KB

    If it is all one piece, stripping off the horrible sleeves would fix the thing. I wouldn’t mind that collar on a sleeveless dress.

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  • August 3, 2007

    Apple Diva

    I am curious why everyone thinks SJP is a fashionista. Was she fashionable before SATC?

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  • August 5, 2007

    kateee

    She does look a tad like henry the eighth in this number ahahhaah

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