Fashion Crimes of the Week: Suspect’s Roundup

Welcome to the Fashion Crimes of the Week: the Fashion Police’s weekly roundup of the items of clothing we suspect to be guilty of committing crimes of fashion. ARE they guilty? It’s up to you to take a look and cast the deciding vote. This clothing is counting on you, people: don’t let it down!

Actually, it’s been a pretty slow week as far as fashion crimes go, but we think our first suspect is enough to make up for that…

Let’s take a look at the fashion crimes of the week

model in pink shorts and knee pads

Suspect # 1 : Kye Leg Wraps

These are “leg wraps”. No, there’s no point to them. Well, not unless “humiliating models” is the point. Or unless you happen to spend a lot of time on your knees, we guess. We’ll just leave that last point dangling, and ask you: WHY? Why would you want such a thing? Wouldn’t they be uncomfortable to wear? And make your knees kinda hot and sweaty? Or is this the item of clothing the fashion world has been crying out for? Either way, they cost $70 per set, and you can buy them at Opening Ceremony. Also from OC comes Suspect # 2…

Suspect # 2: Denim bikini

model wearing denim bikini

Denim. On a bikini. And unless we’re mis-reading the product description on this one, that’s ACTUAL denim, too, not just swimwear that LOOKS like denim. Seriously, can you even imagine how uncomfortable denim would be to swim in? Wait, what are we saying: fashion victims don’t go to the beach to swim, do they? They go to the beach to pose. Would this be any use for posing in, though? Well, we reckon it’s pretty much the “mom jeans” of bikinis, so we’re going to go with “no”. If you’re voting yes, however, you’ll find it here.

Suspect # 3: Dries Van Noten floral applique skirt

dries van noten skirt with brown and black floral applique

Is it just us, or does this look like something that died? Just us? Then get it here.

Suspect # 4: ASOS Illusion tights

fashion crimes illusion tights with sheer section at side of leg

We honestly don’t know WHY these strike us as being fashion crimes. We just know that they DO, and sometimes as a Fashion Police officer it’s important to trust your instincts. Sometimes it’s important to trust your fellow officers too, though, and we think some of you might just love these, so if you do, here’s where to find them.

 So, what do you think? Are these items truly fashion crimes, or do you want to set any of them free?

6 Comments

  • March 1, 2013

    lizvocal

    Lock them up and throw away the key!

    I would also arrest whoever paired that plaid blouse with the flowered skirt, making it five times more awful than it already was.

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  • March 3, 2013

    Helen

    I have a pair of leg wraps. I bought them at a hardware store. I use them When I paint murals. I had no idea I was so trendy.

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  • March 4, 2013

    Sill

    Those tights are pretty cool.

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  • March 4, 2013

    Pink Princess

    OMG…

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  • April 15, 2013

    Marissa

    The “mom jean” bikini is absolutely atrocious.

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  • May 5, 2013

    paputsza

    The denim swimsuit girl looks fat in that and possibly inbred. That doesn’t bode well for anyone else.

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