Guest Post: Fashion Crimes in Alternative Clothing Stores

Big_ls_fishnet_model1 Guest author Anna writes…

Being a teenager, I think that the fashion police would probably heavily disagree with most of my fashion choices, especially because I’m one of those crazy 16-year-olds who dress partially to get a rise out of people. I take a lot of pride in my style, though, and even though my clunky black boots, miniskirts, fishnet tights and brightly colored knee-socks won’t be appearing in fashion magazines anytime soon, I take pride in my unique style, and often get compliments. Of course, these compliments tend to be from other wacky teenagers, but whatever. I think that people can pull of most anything if they carry themselves with confidence.

Some things, however, no one can pull off. Some clothing just should not be worn. I love looking through alternative clothing sites online, even though being 16, I usually can’t afford to buy very much. Even though it’s lame, I like to fantasize about the clothes and what I would wear them with. I think that most of my findings are adorable, even though they would probably make all of you grown-up fashionistas squirm, but even I have to draw the line somewhere. Even though I love them, alternative clothing stores are to me where the very, very good meets the horrifyingly bad.

Take this top for instance [pictured left]. The obvious issue here is the amount of skin this model is showing, but even if you can get past that, there’s another problem with it. The way the sheer fabric crinkles makes the model look like she has little rolls, even though we know that that’s not possible or they wouldn’t have had her model it in the first place. My point: If it makes a model look flabby, what is it going to do to the average woman?


Monster_handsI’ve been seeing this look a lot in alternative clothing and it really, really confuses me. Maybe it’s some sort of underground culture reference that I’m not getting, but I can’t think of one reason why you would want to look like you have monster hands groping your breasts. Anyone wanna enlighten me?

Monster_bootsYes, those are, um, big, red, furry boots. No, I don’t know how or why someone could come up with the idea for these, nor can I comprehend what kind of people would actually purchase them. I just hope that elmo wasn’t harmed in the making of these eyesores…

(Thanks to Anna for submitting this column! If you’d like to be a guest author at The Fashion Police, please read our submission guidelines here)

8 Comments

  • September 25, 2008

    Arielle

    I’d just like to state that what a teenager can get away with wearing, and look cute in, is vastly different from what a 30 year old, 40 year old, etc. can get away with wearing. So while I would actually probably find Anna’s outfit’s cute on her, if I were to wear them myself the results would indeed be horrifying. 😉

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  • September 25, 2008

    Lauren from NC

    Dude, I’m totally impressed! The first and last item are an immediate fail, but that hoodie you showed is probably popular somewhere. It’s a shame what some “scene kids” will wear.

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  • September 26, 2008

    Danielle

    The boots are popular with go-go dancers at clubs, and the hands groping tshirt trend was started by the Misfits. Know your music history if you’re going to wear “alternative” clothing!
    http://shirtstree.com/images/TEE_CIND/MIS-130.jpg

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  • September 26, 2008

    Anna

    Yep, Danielle, that’s me. Just another poserish youngun trying to be cool.
    That’s fine. I just KNEW there was SOME story behind the groping hands that was going to get me bitched at by someone. (I still stand by what I said about it, sorry) But to be honest, I don’t follow ANY trends, not even alternative ones.
    Is there some rule that says I can only wear the clothes I like if I listen to certain music?
    Am I a poser for mostly liking bands no one’s ever heard of (not bands that are popular with the underground culture, bands that are ACTUALLY obscure)?
    Can I even be considered a poser if I don’t consider myself any kind of label?
    Probably.
    And of COURSE the boots are clubwear. They’re still ugly.

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  • September 26, 2008

    The Fashion Police

    I think what you said about the hands hoodie was totally legitimate, Anna – it’s in pretty bad taste, regardless of the “history” behind it, and it’s ridiculous to suggest that people aren’t allowed to have an opinion on a piece of clothing unless they know absolutely *everything* about “music history”. Clearly we’re all aware that those boots are worn by clubbers, and as you say, they’re still ugly…

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  • September 27, 2008

    Natasha

    Danielle, that was pretty harsh and uncalled for. Sure, let’s bash a 16 year old girl for not knowing a band from 30 years ago. Really mature!

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  • November 29, 2008

    Lai-Lai

    Goth & Punk Couture.

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  • November 29, 2008

    Lai-Lai

    Lol! That shoe must be made from recycled Tickle Me Elmo!

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