Quick programming note before we start: we normally bring you our Fashion Crime roundup on a Friday, but we’re going to be taking a couple of days off for the Easter break, so rather than deprive you of the sight of terrible items of clothing, we’re calling this Thursday the new Friday. Or something. We’ll be back to our usual posting schedule on Tuesday, but until then, here’s your Fashion Crime Friday, on a Thursday, starting off with suspect #1…
[From Louisa Via Roma]
Suspect # 1 | The strangest shoes we ever did see
They almost got away with this. At first, our officers were so busy investigating the skirt – which is the items that’s for sale here – that they didn’t even bother to look at what was on the model’s feet. When they did, they immediately placed the shoes under arrest, because, seriously? Those are supposed to be SHOES? How could you even wear them without tripping up constantly? WHY would you even wear them – other than to quickly clean your floors, obviously. They’d probably be good at that.
The skirt is from Louisa Via Roma, who don’t appear to be selling the shoes – or not that we saw, anyway – and give no explanation for their existence. We can’t think of one either, but if you can, we’d love to hear it.
Our next suspect also comes from Louisa Via Roma:
[Buy it here for £1,023]
Suspect # 2 | Anthony Caccarello studded cut-out jersey skirt
Remember that Zara skort everyone and their uncle was wearing last year? This is basically its older, much more expensive sister. It also looks like a designer diaper. Why must everything look like a diaper these days? Can someone please explain this to us?
[Buy them here for £259]
Suspect # 3 | Elasticated pantaloons
We don’t know what troubles us most about these: that they exist, that they’re £259, or that they’re almost sold out. Probably a bit of all three.
[Buy it here for £455]
Suspect # 4 | DSquared2’s multicoloured dress
Yikes. And that’s about all we have to say about that.
We’ll be taking a couple of days off for the Easter holiday, so check back on Tuesday for more crimes of fashion and wanted items, and have a happy Easter!
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