Fashion Crime Friday | The Worst of Both Worlds

It’s Fashion Crime Friday, everyone! Let’s hope you’re all feeling much more cheerful than the woman modelling our first suspect:

one-legged gingham jumpsuit

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Suspect # 1 | Daniele Carlota spandex jumpsuit

She doesn’t look happy. We don’t blame her. After all, she IS wearing a strange halfway-house of an outfit: half jumpsuit, half culottes. It has one shoulder and one leg, and is either the best of both worlds or the very worst of them. We’ll leave that up to you to decide.  Meanwhile, we’re moving on to…

zara dungarees

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Suspect # 2 |  Zara dungarees and crop top combo

Although we’d personally hate the dungarees regardless of what they were worn with, this is mostly a matter of bad styling, more than anything else. The shoes we’ve already discussed  (And we’d hate THOSE regardless of how they were styled, too…), but the addition of the crop top takes this look to a whole new level. Now, we’re not opposed to crop tops at all, but combining this one with dungarees basically creates a kind of “frame” for the belly. We’re guessing most people don’t really WANT to frame their bellies, but feel free to prove us wrong!

On the subject of denim:

denim dress

[buy it here]

Suspect # 3 | MKL Collective ‘New West’ dress

This is described as a dress, but it looks to us more like what would happen if you found yourself forced to survive for years on a desert island, with only an old scrap of denim to clothe yourself with. In fact, from the back, it looks a lot like the model is just wearing a towel wrapped around herself, but then, most people would toss a towel this ragged right into the trash, wouldn’t they?

And finally…

Christopher Kane sheer dress

[Buy it here]

Suspect # 4 | Christopher Kane tulle dress

It’s £8,000, which is over $13,000. The real crime here isn’t the fact that it costs more than a small car (although that IS pretty criminal…); it’s the fact that things like this are so commonplace in the world of high fashion that they’ve almost lost their ability to surprise us.

Don’t have nightmares, Fashion Police officers…


  • February 28, 2014


    Cate Blanchet actually wore the last item on the red carpet, albeit with a lining…

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  • March 1, 2014


    That last one has a face! :O

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  • March 9, 2014


    While all of these were painful to look at, the thing I found most horrific was how they have photoshopped model #4’s nipples out of the image. Not that I want to see her nipples, but it all looks so… unnatural! As if the outfit wasn’t bad enough….

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