Thanks to our old friend Gareth Pugh, and the miracle that is modern fashion, this:
Plus this:
Equals THIS:
Just make sure you don’t stand too close to anything sharp.
Gareth Pugh and the incredible inflatable dress 
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Category Archives: Dresses
Dresses are one of the staples of any woman's closet, but with so much variety to choose from, it can be hard to know where to start. Prom dresses, summer dresses, workwear dresses - whatever kind of dress you're looking for, The Fashion Police will do our very best to help you find it, and will also highlight some ugly dresses to be avoided. What's your dress style? Casual, smart, sexy, trendy? You'll find a dress for every occasion in the section below...
Gareth Pugh and the incredible inflatable dress
Cynthia Rowley and Olaf Breuning let you look naked while being fully clothed
This dress reminds us of a Magic Eye drawing (remember those?). Not because of all the dots, but because if you look closely enough, and give it a few seconds, you’ll notice a naked female form hidden behind the pattern. Or, at least, we HOPE you will, because if you don’t, then it must just be us, seeing naked bodies where there are none. That would be weird.
This dress is a collaboration between Cynthia Rowley and artist Olaf Breuning, and it’s been produced for the exhibition The Complete Spot Paintings 1986-2011 by Damien Hirst. So, even more than most items we show you here, this one is OMGART, and thus not allowed to be criticised, according to Fashion Victims. (Fashion Victims, we’ve found, are strangely narrow-minded when it comes to such things, believing that all art is good art. Huh.) That said, Colette are selling it for $470, and they’re selling it as an item of clothing, as opposed to something to put on display in your home, so what we want to know is, would you buy it? Would you wear it? (Or display it, for that matter?) Tell us!
(Click here to buy it.)
P.S. There’s a slightly clearer version of the dress under the jump…
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The Emperor’s New Organza Dress, by Topshop Boutique
OK: obviously Topshop don’t mean for us to wear these dresses exactly as they’re shown on the mannequins. Or at least, we hope to God not, because there ain’t enough eyeball bleach in the world to allow us to cope if this particular look was suddenly “bang on trend“. So, we think we have to presume here that they’re supposed to be worn over something else.
The things is, though: WHAT? Because, let’s face it, there’s not much to see here, is there? Literally. They won’t exactly add much to any outfit you’d care to wear under them, and even if they did, well, they’re £80. Each. That’s around $125. The Fashion Police have never DIY’d anything in our lives, but we’re pretty sure we could cobble together a makeshift “dress” out of a piece of organza, if we had one. And we’d only charge you, like, £65, say.
Oh, Emperor, you have no clothes!
Tell us, though: what’s your position on “clothes” like this? Retailers keep on making them, after all, so SOMEONE must be buying them – indeed, all three of these are sold out in at least one size – so we turn to you, ladies and gentlemen of the Fashion Police jury, to explain the appeal. And you have to do it without using the word “edgy”, because otherwise we’re afraid we’ll have to kill arrest you.
Do you buy and wear things like these? And how do you wear them, if so?
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Crime of Fashion? Sass & Bide Printed Pear One Shoulder Dress
We just spent way too much time trying to work out exactly what type of accident would result in this Sass & Bide dress ending up looking… well, like this.
Giant inkpot? Attacked by the Clothes Ripper? Model forced to wade through tar, while wearing just half a dress? WHAT? And, more importantly, did whatever happened here result in this dress becoming a Crime of Fashion? We say yes: what about you?
[Click here for the product page]
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The Ugliest Dresses of 2011
As we continue our look back at the worst fashion of the year just gone (or just about to go, rather), we come to one of the worst criminals of all: the ugly dress.
2011 was a good year for dresses in some ways. The revival of the midi dress, the popularity of skater styles and the continuing influence of shows like Mad Men and Pan Am made for some really great styles.
Then there were the rest.
Sadly, the Boob Window and Shress were repeat offenders on the dress scene this year, and we took more see-through dresses with gaping holes at the most inconvenient places into custody than you had hot dinners. Probably.
Our old enemy, the Sack Dress, also made a return to prominence in 2011, forcing its shapeless, unflattering self onto models everywhere. Thankfully, we’ve yet to see much evidence of the sack dress in real life, but don’t worry, we’re keeping a close eye on the situation.
But enough of this talk: you just want to see some ugly dresses, don’t you? Well, here they are – and if you need the product details (we can’t imagine why you would, but you never know), you’ll find them all here.
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Ten Under a Hundred: Party dresses
Looking for a last-minute party dress? Ideally one that won’t cost more than your rent payment this month? Well, we’ve already brought you our selection of five under fifty, so today we give you ten dresses under £100. (Note: not literally. We would give you dresses if we possibly could, of course, but sadly the budget doesn’t stretch quite that far. Bummer, we know.)
Enjoy!
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- TOPSHOP
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- WAREHOUSE
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- JANE NORMAN
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- FRENCH CONNECTION
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- OASIS
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- COAST
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- CLOSET
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- ASOS
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Style on Trial: ASOS Jacquard Dress With Faux Fur collar
We’re not going to lie to you: we kinda love this. Yes, even although it’s just a tad ridiculous, and wearing it at this time of year would make you look a bit like one of Santa’s little helpers. (Mind you, wearing it at any OTHER time of year would make you look like one of Santa’s little helpers who got lost, so if ever there was a time to wear a dress like this, now would be that time.) Imagine it in red, if you don’t know what we’re talking about here.
What do you think? Cute or costumey? Crime or Damn Fine?
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Wear or Die: Ugly Dress Edition
As it’s Friday, what better way to spoil everyone’s good mood than with a quick game of Wear or Die?
For those of you just joining us, here’s a quick rundown of how it works:
1. The Fashion Police have selected two items of clothing for you (above).
2. You must choose one of them to wear.
3. You must wear the item exactly as it’s shown in the image: so no “wearing something/under it” or doing anything to radically change its appearance. Sorry.
4. Death is not an option.
And with that out of the way, we invite you to make your choice between the two dresses we’ve picked out for you: the sheer, Comme des Garcons creation on the left (why, yes, it DOES look like the model isn’t wearing any underwear: fancy that!) or the pieced-together mess of a dress by Maison Martin Margiela on the right. (And oh yeah, SHE doesn’t seem to be wearing much either, poor thing!).
So, which will you choose?
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