Dresses

      stripe knit dress

      TFP Pick of the Day: The Perfect Stripe Dress for Winter

      Staying styling AND staying warm aren’t necessarily one and the same thing at this time of year: in fact, all too often we end up forgetting about style altogether, and just layering on as many items of clothing as it takes to keep out the chill. The answer? Knitted dresses. They’re easy to wear (just as easy as jeans or leggings: maybe even easier, in fact, because you don’t need to find a top to wear with them), warm, but when you find one that works for you, you’ll look like you made a bit of an effort, even when you didn’t. Which is why we love this navy stripe dress by Sugarhill Boutique. The navy and white stripe gives…

      little black dresses

      6 of the Best… Little Black Dresses

      Where would we be without the little black* dress? It’s chic, it’s easy to wear, you can dress it up or down as required and there’s pretty much one for every taste. With the Christmas party season well under way, the little black dress is about to get a serious workout, so here are six of our current favourites from the UK high street… 01. Rare London bustier midi dress, £55 Tulle skirts have never been trendier, but they also have a classic glamour to them that’s hard to beat. This one is just £55, and will make you feel like a movie star: or a ballerina, as the case may be… 02. Ted Baker bardot neckline bodycon dress, $195…

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      Good Clothes Gone Bad | The Back-Slit Dress

      Remember when we talked about when good clothes go bad? Well, here’s another example… [buy it here] Now,  in fairness, this one could’ve gone either way. It’s one of those dresses that got an instant, “OMGLOVEIT!” reaction from us, quickly followed by a, “Or DO I?” The shape is amazing, is as the subtle print, which seems just right for the upcoming winter seasons. Dresses with sleeves are still rare enough to make us want to buy every one we see (Seriously, why so many short-sleeved dresses in winter, fashion designers? Don’t you all get cold? Do you really want us to spoil your beautiful designs by layering cardigans and scarves over the top every single time we wear them?), and did…

      dress with a face

      Faces in Places: Anna Sui suede mini dress

      Can you see it? Can you see the face on this Anna Sui suede mini dress? Because we can see a face on this dress: and it’s not a happy face either. In fact, it’s a grump, annoyed face – a face that clearly says, “For crying out loud: why am I attached to a stupid suede mini dress? Why wouldn’t I have been a vintage Dior ballgown? Or something Taylor Swift might wear? Instead I’m stuck here with birds for eyes, and a really big nose…” Now can you see it? OK, OK, bad Photoshop is bad, we get it. But you see the face now, right? And now that you’ve seen it, you can’t UN-see it. That’s the…

      lace dress

      Dresses can be fashion crimes too

      [Buy it here] Last week we mentioned that, when it comes to fashion crimes, trousers seem to commit more than their fair share of them. Well, let the record show that dresses aren’t totally innocent either. Take the dress above, for instance. Now, we’re going to bet that a lot of you will like this. It has that whole, “Look, I’m naked under this meagre smattering of lace!” look going on, and people seem to LOVE that for some reason. We don’t, needless to say – we’ve actually had nightmares in which we’re out in public wearing just a meagre smattering of lace – but it’s not the top half of the dress we want to talk about today: it’s…

      dress or bag

      Guess What It Is

      Anyone feel like hazarding a guess at what this is? Without cheating by scrolling down the page for the answer, we mean? Is it a sleeping bag? A tent? Some kind of Ikea lampshade cover? Because it totally looks like an Ikea lampshade cover, don’t you think? It isn’t, though. Although we’d possibly like it better if it was. No, this colourful item is, in fact… [Buy it] ..a designer dress! Which will cost you £1,172.53. One. Thousand. One. Hundred. And Seventy Two. Pounds. And fifty-three pence. Nope, it doesn’t get any easier to believe the more you say it. Quite the opposite, in fact. What people choose to spend their money on is their business, obviously, but we have…

      the ugliest dresses of the year

      The Ugliest Dresses of 2014

      We hope all our officers are having a happy holiday season, and taking the opportunity to rest up and get ready for a super-stylish new year. Right now, though, it’s still 2014, and we’re continuing our look back at some of the biggest fashion fails of the year – in our opinion, at least. This time we’re looking at some of the ugliest dresses of the year, and, as with our last roundup, these are all items from our archive , which means you’re unlikely to be still be able to buy most of them – unless you’re very unlucky. Here are some of our least favourite dresses of the year:  Meadham Kirchhoff rubber apron dress 2013 brought us one of…

      orange Valentino dress

      We’re, like, totally obsessed with this orange Valentino dress

      Valentino orange silk dress, $3,700 We’ve always hated it when people use the word “brave” to describe someone’s fashion choices. Not only is it something of a back-handed compliment to give someone, (“Oh, that’s such a BRAVE choice!” is generally fashion-speak for, “Wow, what a hot mess!”) it also leaves you with no way to describe things that are ACTUALLY “brave”. If wearing clothes is “brave”, how do you describe someone who runs into a burning building to rescue a kitten, for instance? You’d have no words, would you? (See also: people who use the word “OBSESSED” when what they actually mean is “I glanced at this, and I quite like it, but I’ll have forgotten all about it by the…

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      When Maxi Dresses Go Wrong

      The maxi dress. It’s a summer staple for many people: throw one on with a pair of sandals and a floppy sunhat, and you’re all set for a day by the pool, a trip to the beach, a leisurely day’s sightseeing… you can fill in the rest of this list yourself, we’re sure. Not only is the maxi dress a lightweight alternative to shorts, sundresses or all of those other summer options, it can also be very forgiving to the figure: unless, of course, it looks like this: Black maxi dress, $24 We have a grudging respect for this dress. It’s just so unapologetic, isn’t it? The girl who wears this dress isn’t going to fuss around, adding silly layers…

      eyeball-dress

      Style Trial | Zara eye print dress: a fashion blogger favourite…

      very year, Zara manages to create an item of clothing which is snapped up and worn by absolutely everyone. And by “absolutely everyone”, we mean “by fashion bloggers”. Fashion bloggers often seem to exist in their own little trend microcosm, don’t they? For instance, we don’t recall seeing anyone wearing THAT Zara skort (which was LAST year’s fashion blogger ‘must have’) in “real” life, but every fashion blogger on the internet seemed to have one, and so it is with this eyeball-print dress. This dress is currently sold out online, but if you’re lucky you may be able to find one in store, and if not, there’s always eBay, where you’ll find tons of them, all selling for double the price…

      Untitled-1

      Would you wear… Peacocks’ £1.99 lace dress?

      Last week, UK fashion chain Peacocks rather cleverly managed to drum up some publicity for themselves by selling a dress for the bargain price of just £1.99 – about $3.30, for those of you in the U.S. The dress is shown above: it was a little lace number, available in mint or lilac, and, predictably enough, it sold out so quickly it managed to crash the brand’s website. Not to worry, though: Peacocks have announced plans to repeat the experiment in the future, with other low-priced dresses to come. Our question is: what do you think of them? For those of you worried about the ethics of buying clothes which are cheaper than your morning cappuccino, you can relax a…

      Untitled-1

      REAL vs STEAL | Mint lace dresses by Dolce & Gabbana and RoseGal

      L-R: Dresses by Dolce & Gabbana and RoseGal Today’s edition of “Real Vs Steal” features a very literal interpretation of that phrase: the lower-priced dress isn’t simply “inspired by” its designer counterpart – it’s such an exact copy of it that it could be said to be literally “stealing” the designer style. The designer dress in question is this mint beauty by Dolce & Gabbana. Our sister site ShoeperWoman featured this dress earlier this week, and we instantly fell in love with it. As it costs a bank-breaking £1,885, however, we resigned ourself to the fact that we’d never get to wear anything remotely like it – until Fashion Police informer, Claudia, emailed us the link to the RoseGal copy,…

      Boden Nancy dress review

      Closet Confidential | Boden ‘Nancy’ dress in blue Riviera print: review

      Closet Confidential offers you a peek inside the Fashion Police closet, seeing what we’ve been buying, what we’ve been returning, and – most importantly – what we thought of it. Today, Chief of Police Amber takes a look at Boden’s ‘Nancy’ dress in ‘blue Riviera’ print, which you may remember as a former Dress of the Day candidate… Boden ‘Nancy’ dress in blue ‘Riviera’ print, £89 I pre-ordered this dress as soon as it appeared on the Boden summer preview site. I was totally won over by the pretty landscape print, as well as by the 50s-inspired wide neckline and full skirt. The dress finally arrived last week, and here’s what you need to know about it: Shipping As I…

      fashion-fail

      The Ugliest Dresses of 2013

      Each year, as December comes to a close, The Fashion Police like to take a look back through the case files, and round up some of the worst fashion crimes of the year just gone. This year, we’re starting off with a look at the dress section of our jailhouse, so sit back, relax (if you can), and take a look at our gallery of the ugliest dresses of 2013! (Note: These products go right back to the start of the year, and many – if not most – are now out of stock.  We’re pretty sure you’ll be able to live with this knowledge, but just in case you can’t, we’ve indicated where each dress came from on the…

      spaghetti-starp-dresses1-296x197

      Spaghetti straps over t-shirts: the 90s revived

      We haven’t said much about the 90s-revival that’s been going on in fashion for a while now: mostly because we were hoping that if we ignored it for long enough, it would simply go away. Well, it didn’t go away. And now the stores are full of items of clothing that look like this: Dresses: Miss Selfridge Spagetti-strap dresses over white t-shirts: all you need is a velvet choker and a pair of Doc Martens, and it’ll be like 1995 never ended. GOD. Back then, of course, people wore ACTUAL dresses, over ACTUAL t-shirts, not this “stuck together” nonsense that prevails nowadays. This was all fields then, of course. Onesies were just for babies. Crocs hadn’t been invented. People didn’t…

      coast-party-dresses

      TFP’s Ultimate Party Dresses Roundup

      Today is the last day on which you’ll be able to order something online and have it delivered before Christmas (for many retailers, at least: there are a few who’re offering express delivery later in the week!), so if you’re still looking for party dresses for Christmas day, New Year’s Eve, or anything in between, now’s your last chance! To take some of the hard work out of your search, we’ve rounded up our favourite party dresses from UK high street retailers: we don’t claim to have found something for everyone in this selection, but out of the thirty different dresses on the page, we hope you’ll find something you like. So sit back, take a look, and we hope you…

      pink-dress

      Five party dresses under £25

      pink strapless prom dress, £20; oriental print dress, £18; silver jacquard dress, £20; red crepe dress, £18 A £20 party dress, which you can pick up at the supermarket, and pay for along with the rest of your groceries? It doesn’t exactly SOUND like the most stylish solution to a Christmas wardrobe crisis, but when we headed over to George at Asda to check out the party dresses, we found quite a few that we wouldn’t kick out of the closet. All of the dresses above are under £25 – in fact, none of them are over £20 – so if you’re hoping to get through the party season while sticking to a budget, don’t overlook the supermarket, is what we’re…

      regina-dress

      Dress of the Day | Collectif ‘Regina’ polka flock dress

      Collectif ‘Regina’ polka flock dress, £55 Collectif’s winter collection recently arrived online, and more than a few of the pieces have already made their way onto The Fashion Police’s ‘WANTED!” list. And also into The Fashion Police’s closet, if we’re going to be completely honest about this. The ‘Regina’ polka flock dress is one of the items currently on that list: although Collectif is technically a “retro reproduction” label, it’s a little less expensive than many similar brands (At £55, this dress is priced similarly to a mid-range high street store), which makes it that little bit more lethal to our bank balances. This dress has tons of old-fashioned glamour, but won’t look out of place in a contemporary setting…

      stripe-bodycon-dress

      Review | Oasis stripe bodycon knitted dress

      Suspect : Oasis stripe bodycon dress Spotted at: Zalando Price: £40 Officer’s Comments: The words “horizontal stripe” and “bodycon” can be daunting enough on their own, but put them into the same item description and they’re enough to strike fear into this officer’s beating heart. This Oasis knit dress has appealed to me for a while now, though, so when Zalando offered to allow TFP to interrogate something from their women’s clothing section I decided to give it a go. The first surprise with this one came in the colour: in all of the photos I’ve seen of this dress, it looked to be a cream and black stripe. In real life, however, it’s more of a black and tan/beige,…

      gareth-pugh-dress

      Crime of Fashion? Gareth Pugh raised neck dress

      Gareth Pugh dress, $2670 We couldn’t decide whether this dress was more amusing from the front or from the back, so we’re submitting both photos into evidence and letting you decide for yourselves. Now, don’t get us wrong, we like a high neck on a dress. Or a coat. Or a sweater. Or anything with a neck, basically. The clue to making this work, however, lies in the word “neck”. You have to be able to see, not just the neck of the dress/coat/sweater/whatever, but the neck of the person wearing it. It has to be seen to exist. If the neck of the dress is so high that it makes the wearer look, well, NECKLESS, then Fashion Police, we…

      orange-dress

      Style Trial | Three Floor scalloped dress

      Three Floor scalloped dress, £128 ASOS describe this item as a “fancy dress”, and while we guess that’s technically true – well, it IS pretty fancy – it also totally had us thinking it was supposed to LITERALLY be fancy dress. As in, “a Halloween costume”. Maybe a cartoon dinosaur of some kind, say? As it turns out, however, this isn’t a costume, and it’s not a dinosaur suit either (although if you want to wear it as one, we promise not to tell.) Actually, it’s a dress designed by London label Three Floor, who, ASOS inform us, are “inspired by the effortless style of fashion insiders, from models to bloggers.” So now you know, folks: IT’S THE BLOGGER’S FAULT….

      Myleene-Klass-Leopard-Dress

      DOTD | Mylene Klass leopard print wiggle dress

      Mylene Klass leopard print wiggle dress, £55 Like a little bit of leopard on your wiggle dress? It’s not for everyone, granted. In fact, there’s  a good chance that at least 50% of you are rolling your eyes in horror right now, while the other 50% is nodding enthusiastically. Animal print is just one of those “marmite” kind of prints, isn’t it? If you hate it, you probably think it’s cheap, tacky and the kind of thing that instantly turns an outfit into a Fashion Crime. If you love it, however, you probably appreciate how the odd dash of animal print can add a bit of interest to an otherwise dull dress, or liven up even the most boring of…

      valentino-dress

      Style Trial | Valentino wool and silk dress

      Dress: Valentino Don’t worry, Style Sleuths: you haven’t gotten lost on the highways and bye-ways of the Internet and ended up on the wrong website altogether. This isn’t, you see, an image from some strange made-for-TV costume drama involving a sexy, high-fashion nun who goes astray (Although, as an aside, we would totally watch that…): it’s a product shot for a £2535 Valentino dress. As in, they’re expecting you to wear this. In public, presumably. So, we have to ask: where would you wear this? And don’t say, “On Halloween, dressed as a bishop, or other religious figure,” because that doesn’t count. Seriously, though, we’re wracking our brains here, and while this isn’t actually offensive, in the way some so-called…

      wanted-wednesday

      Wanted Wednesday | Coast Occasionwear

      When we started to put together this week’s Wanted Wednesday post, we had the best of intentions to use a variety of different sources. Unfortunately, though, we didn’t make it past the “new in” section at Coast: whoops. We’re hoping you won’t judge us too harshly, though, because look: Lily-Anna dress, £180 A fairytale dress if ever we saw one. Now, Coast is pretty ubiquitous when it comes to special occasions: so much so that we know of more than one bride-to-be who’s had to put “No Coast dresses” on the wedding invitations, for fear the guests would turn up wearing the same dresses as the bridesmaids. Even if you can safely take the bridal party out of the occasion,…

      fringe dress

      Style Trial: ASOS Dip Dye Fringe Dress

      ASOS dip-dye fringe dress, £45 Well, it’s certainly different and it’s definitely dramatic, we have to give it that. Is it “different” and “dramatic” in a good way, though, or in an “OMG, call The Fashion Police!” kinda way? That, Fashion Force, is the question before you today. Under normal circumstances, we’d have looked at the words “dip-dye” and “fringe” in the product description of this dress, and have instantly assumed it was a crime of fashion. We’ve never met a dip-dye item we didn’t dislike, you see, and we’re not too keen on fringes, either… especially not when they appear to be growing out of the model’s back. Still, there’s no denying that this kind of look is popular…

      selection of summer dresses from Oasis

      High Street Hero: Summer dresses from Oasis

      It’s been a while since we last nominated a High Street Hero, and today’s nominee isn’t ONE item, but many: basically, it’s the entire collection of summer dresses from Oasis… Summer dresses are one of the more fun fashion items out there: quirky prints, bright colours and interesting shapes abound, all helping to make summer our favourite style season. Everyone else may be obsessed with Fall, but give us a fabulous summer dress and a great pair of shoes and we’ll be far happier than we ever in the coats, boots and layers which we’re forced into in the colder months of the year. Summer dresses are also one of the easiest items to actually wear. They’re basically a complete…

      vintage style midi dresses

      Wanted! Pretty vintage-style midi dresses from Topshop

      As our regular readers will know by now, The Fashion Police have  soft spot for midi dresses, and we’re also partial to anything that so much as hints at a vintage-inspired style. Thanks to the release of The Great Gatsby this summer, we can probably expect to see a lot more of this kind of style, and this morning Topshop took delivery of a trio of pretty midis which wouldn’t look out of place at a summer garden party way back when. Or a totally modern event in 2013, for that matter. We love…   Blue chiffon bodice skater dress, £120 Pink chiffon midi dress, £65 Lemon lace midi dress, £95

      prom-dresses

      Short prom dresses from the UK high street

      Prom season is almost upon us, but of course, you don’t need an actual prom to attend to wear a prom-style dress. Recently our style sleuths have noticed more than the usual number of prom dresses on the UK high street: the full skirts and fitted bodices make them flattering on a variety of different body shapes, and they’re as perfect for weddings, parties and other special occasions as they are for proms. When it comes to dresses that you won’t be wearing every day, we like to save some cash when we can, so here’s a quick roundup of some low-price prom dresses: you just need to supply the event…

      black and white floral print dress

      High Street Hero: Dorothy Perkins floral petal sleeve dress

      Dorothy Perkins floral petal sleeve dress, £18 We seem to be having an inadvertent “Dorothy Perkins” theme today, because right after publishing our “Three Things” post this morning, featuring three items from the UK high street brand, we remembered that Fashion Police Officer Francesca had written to nominate this Dorothy Perkins dress as a High Street Hero! This dress was Francesca’s pick, so we’re going to leave it to her to tell you why she thinks it deserves the title of High Street Hero. Francesca writes: “For £18, the quality is beautiful, the fabric feels full and heavy, but very summery. The skirt is nice and swishy, the length very becoming, and the petal sleeve is a nice delicate detail…

      bodycon midi dresses

      High Street Hero: Topshop’s bodycon midi dresses

      Meet our latest High Street Hero, Fashion Police Officers: Topshop’s bodycon midi dresses: Bodycon midi dresses, Topshop We say “TOPSHOP’S bodycon midi dresses”: this style is currently available all over the high street, and we’ve picked Topshop purely because: a) They’ve been selling this style of dress for a few months now, and have produced an impressive variety of colours and prints. b) We can personally recommend them, having been sucked in by the lure of the bodycon midi dresses ourselves. As you can see, these dresses may all meet the general description of “bodycon midi dresses”, but that’s about ALL they have in common: have a quick browse around the internet, and you’ll find them in every colour and…

      striped dresses

      Designer Dupes: Striped dresses edition

      So, did you all get the message that black and white stripes are, like, SO HOT this year? Because we could probably mention it a few more times if you’re not totally sure yet. Since the word was passed down from the powers that be, designer labels have been churning out black and white striped dresses like they’re going out of fashion. Which they will be, of course, but probably not until next season. Luckily for those of you who love the designer look, but hate the designer price tag, the high street brands have been equally busy making their own versions “inspired by” designers. Here are some expensive striped dresses… and their more affordable high street counterparts. Striped dresses:…

      michael-kors-dress

      Dress of the Day: Michael Kors belted cotton crepe dress

      Michael Kors belted cotton crepe dress, £1,330 A slightly different take on the monochrome trend, this dress abandons the bold stripes seen elsewhere in favour of a classic black and white shift, with a bit of a 60s vive: another big trend for spring, if that matters to you. A belt to emphasise the waist, a cute little collar and some big round pockets (And who doesn’t love a dress with pockets, we ask you?) finish off this look. The price tag, meanwhile, just about finished off US: here’s hoping for a more affordable high street version soon. Buy it

      Valentino bow dress

      Dress of the Day: Red Valentino hand painted floral silk dress

      Red Valentino hand painted floral silk dress, £599 This dress is possibly the girliest thing that’s ever existed. Naturally, then, some of you will absolutely hate it, for that very reason. Equally naturally, though, we couldn’t possibly have NOT shown you it. Us, resist the lure of a floral-print dress, with added bow? That’s never going to happen, which is why this random Tuesday morning in March is being brightened up (for us at least) by this Red Valentino hand painted floral silk dress. We know what you’re thinking, though. “But Fashion Police,” you’re saying, “What kind of shoes would you wear with a dress such as this?” Well, we’d probably go with something like these, to pick up the blue…

      is this the worst wedding dress ever?

      Worst Wedding Dress, revisisted

      We thought we’d found the worst wedding dress in the world last month, when we showed you the see-through creation with the long, plastic-looking train. We were wrong. We’re pretty sure THIS is the worst wedding dress in the world: Or, at least it WOULD be if it was actually available to buy and wear. Happily for wedding guests all over the world, though (Seriously, can you imagine trying to keep a straight face as THIS walked down the aisle towards you?) this isn’t actually “fashion”, but ART. It was designed by artist Hazel Moore, who displayed it during her degree show at Glasgow School of Art. Hazel says: [yo_quote author=”Hazel Moore”]My degree show work for example explored the iconic…

      green strapless dress

      Dress of the Day: Alice + Olivia Venus Straplesss Gathered Fitted Dress

      Alice + Olivia Venus Straplesss Gathered Fitted Dress, $396 Right now, we’d be quite happy if we could somehow find a way to crawl inside the Alice + Olivia website and just stay there. Anyone know who we need to talk to about that? It’s safe to say, then, that we’re loving the S/S 2013 collection. This dress is just one of the pieces we love from it, and although it’s a length which many – and perhaps even most – people find problematic, the good news is that Shopbop have an above-the-knee version, if that’s more your style. As for us, well, we’re suckers for midi dresses, and think the strapless bodice and bodycon design more than compensate for…

      river island pink prom dress

      Dress of the Day: River Island pink prom dress

      River Island pink prom dress, £65 This one is possibly too sweet to be wholesome (What do you really expect from a post labelled “pink prom dress” though?) and it’s definitely aimed at the younger end of the market, but for a high street dress, we think it’s pretty cute. We also think we see a tulle underskirt lurking under the skirt: that grants it almost automatic DOTD status… Buy it

      dress of the day

      Dress of the Day: Trashy Diva Honey Child Dress

      Trashy Diva Honey Child Dress, £163 Trashy Diva’s ‘Honey’ dress is a Fashion Police favourite, and we’d own one in every colour if we possibly could. This season it’s been re-vented as ‘Honey Child’, which uses the same crumbcatcher-style bodice as ‘Honey’, but with a pencil skirt rather than a full one. We love this beautiful blue colour, but if you prefer the original shape of the Honey dress, you’ll be happy to know that it’s now available in this colour too. Buy it

      Coast Glamour bow dress in blue

      Our 900th Dress of the Day: Coast Glamour Bow Dress

      Coast Glamour Bow Dress, £175 It’s hard to believe it, but this dress is our 900th Dress of Day. We started the feature back in 2006, and while there have been a few hiatuses along the way, we’ve been doing our best to bring you a daily dose of  (mostly retro-inspired) delightful dresses ever since. Last week we wrote about the importance of having a signature style, and our admiration for those who do. Dress of the Day is our way to share The Fashion Police’s “signature style” with you, and to mark the occasion of our 900th post, we think  Coast’s Glamour Bow Dress does a pretty good job of summing that up: the classic shape, the bold colour, the giant bow… these are…

      Preen Line Ivy paneled stretch-cotton drill dress

      Dress of the Day: Preen Line Ivy paneled stretch-cotton drill dress

      Preen Line Ivy paneled stretch-cotton drill dress, $715 Although the skirt-like waistband and contrast panel on the bodice take this dress dangerously close to “Stuck Together Clothes” territory, we’re willing to forgive it: partly because we’d probably forgive this dress just about anything, but also because if ALL S-T-Cs looked like this, we may not even consider them a Crime of Fashion in the first place. Oh yeah, and also because we’re complete suckers for this kind of full skirt. Show us a full skirted dress, we’ll show you a Dress of the Day… Buy it

      clothes ripper

      Clothes Ripper strikes again: little black dress is latest victim

      The clothes ripper strikes again! Late last night, The Fashion Police were called out to a crime scene over at Yoox.com where we were confronted with the terrible sight you see before you: a little black dress, ripped to shreds, and left for dead. It didn’t take us long to identify a suspect in this terrible crime of fashion: it was immediately obvious that this was the work of none other than our old enemy… THE CLOTHES RIPPER Duh-duh-duuuuuuh. (We know: dramatic, huh?) We have no idea what the victim did – if anything – to deserve this vicious attack. All we can say is that while it might once have been a dull, but useful black dress, it’s now…

      Oscar de la Renta embroidered silk-organza dress

      Dress of the Day: Oscar de la Renta embroidered silk-organza dress

        Oscar de la Renta embroidered silk-organza dress, $6,190 This is absolutely beautiful. As much as we love it, though (and we love it a lot), it’s here purely as eye candy, because, seriously, folks: $6,000 for a dress? If anyone needs us, we’ll be lying down in a darkened room with a nice stiff drink on the bedside table… Buy it

      trompe l'oleil dress

      Style Trial: Venera Arapu trompe l’oeil printed silk satin dress

      Venera Arapu trompe l’oeil printed silk satin dress, £292 The more we look at this, the more it messes with our minds, and makes us wonder if it’s kinda cool or kinda creepy. It’s like a designer version of one of those novelty “bikini body” aprons people sometimes wear in the kitchen, to “hilarious” effect, isn’t it? It’s also like looking at a model with four arms. Which is… interesting. This dress is on the flimsy side as it is. Add in the “come hither” pose of the model (the one ON the dress, not the one IN the dress), and we have to wonder how you’d feel about wearing this. It’s definitely going to be an attention-getter, that’s for…

      best-dresses-2012-featured

      The Best Dresses of 2012

      We’ve spent most of this week looking back at some of the biggest fashion crimes of the past year. But it’s Friday, it’s almost Christmas, and we’re feeling generous, so today we thought we’d end the week on a positive note, by showing you some of our favourite dresses of 2012. We’ve done our best to note where each of the dresses in the gallery came from (you can find it by opening the image and reading the text beneath it), but please be aware that this is a retrospective going all the way back to January, so many of these items will no longer be available – they’re simply here to be rewarded for their services to style!

      ugly dresses

      The Ugliest Dresses of 2012

      As we start to wind-down towards the holiday season, we thought we’d take a look back at some of the best – and worst – of the year just gone. And because we’re The Fashion Police, and we specialise in ugly clothing crimes, we’re mostly going to be focusing on the worst. We;ll, it’s what we do. We’re starting off with a look back at some of the ugliest dresses of 2012. These dresses were all arrested at some point during 2012, and you’ll find our original crime reports here. Which is the ugliest?

      denim dresses

      Style Trial: River Island denim cut out stud sleeveless shirt dress

      Denim dresses are one of those items which can divide opinion. We know some women who love them, and describe them as wardrobe staples which can never go out of style, but then again, we know OTHER women who think they’re the tackiest thing since Britney’s Vegas wedding, and who wouldn’t be seen dead in one. Indeed, there are those who take the stance that denim should really only ever be used on jeans, which rules out, not just denim dresses, but also denim skirts and jackets. Hardcore! Speaking of Britney: this River Island denim stud dress looks to us a lot like something she might wear, and for that reason alone, we think it’s probably going to be a…

      D&G Printed silk and denim dress

      Stuck Together Clothes Crimes: D&G Printed silk and denim dress

      A denim mini-skirt, attached to a low-cut scarf top, with a non-existent back. If we’d been asked to guess, we’d probably have assumed this came from Wet Seal, or some other teen-orientated clubbing emporium. But no, it’s a $545 designer creation, by none other than our old friends D&G. And it’s sold out. Which just goes to show what we know, eh?

      Is the dress too short or is the model just too tall for it?

      Is the dress too short or is the model just too tall for it?

      ASOS PETITE Exclusive Ruched Side Bodycon Dress, £18 We were all set to arrest this “dress” for secretly being a top, and for being so short the model wouldn’t even be able to sit down in it without showing everyone her undies. Then the penny dropped: the dress is from the ASOS Petite range. If the model isn’t (which, let’s face it, wouldn’t be unusual: we’re very used to seeing plus-sized lines modelled by super-slim models, and petite lines worn by very tall ones: it’s one of the many reasons modelling is so very hard…), then that would definitely explain the length, wouldn’t it? ASOS normally put the model’s height and the size she’s wearing on their product descriptions, to…

      CLEAN T-SHIRT SATIN MAXI DRESS

      High Street Shopping: Topshop clean t-shirt satin maxi dress

      We’ve always been slightly suspicious of maxi dresses. Oh, don’t get us wrong: we like them… on other people. On other people, the maxi dress can look effortlessly elegant, casual-yet-dressy, and that little bit different from all of the other dresses out there. On us, though? On us, a maxi dress can easily make us look like we’re en route to a costume party: or like we’ve just been watching far too much Downton Abbey. And honestly, the length issues alone are enough to put us off, because if you’re anything less than model height, you’ll know that any maxi dress you try to pluck off the racks will trail along the floor behind you, gathering dust bunnies and other…

      Stop Staring emerald dess

      Ten fabulous retro dresses

      Dress: Collectif Way back in 2009, we posted a list of our Top Ten retro dresses, and to this day it’s still one of the most popular posts on the entire site. That list is looking a little dated now, and many of the dresses have long-since sold out, so we thought it was time we updated it. This isn’t a “top ten”, it’s simply a collection of some of our favourite examples of retro-inspired style from around the web. We hope you enjoy!

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      High Street Shopping: Miss Selfridge lace prom dresses

      [Buy here and here] We weren’t sure which of these two dresses to show you, so we’re spoiling you by featuring them both… These are a little more expensive than most of the pieces you tend to find in Miss Selfridge (they’re £135 and £85 respectively), but they’re also a little more special, with their mix of tulle, lace and floral appliqué, for a very delicate, pretty look. These have obviously been released with the Christmas party season in mind, but will work all year round, as long as you can find an occasion special enough to wear them!

      white-kaleidscope

      Fantasy Shopping: Suzanne ‘Kaleidoscope’ retro cocktail dress

      Could we afford this? Not even in our wildest dreams. Would we have somewhere to wear it, even if we could? Nuh-uh. Or not unless the Fashion Police uniforms get some serious upgrading, anyway. Or we decide to get married in 1955. Do any of the above points stop us totally coveting this dress, and reaching out to stroke the screen lovingly, ever time we look at it? Nope, not for a second. Well, it’s called ‘Fantasy Shopping” for a reason, you know: no one ever claimed these clothes had to be practical, did they? Just in case you don’t have an upcoming engagement at the alter, and DO have a spare $1,350 burning a hole in your bank account, here’s…

      99p party dress

      Introducing the 99p party dress

      We all like a bargain, don’t we? Well, we certainly do, anyway. And with the Christmas consumer season looming on the horizon (Christmas is “just around the corner” according to the press releases we receive. Which is actually news to us: we’d assumed it would be at the end of December, like it always is!), bargain-hunting can be even more important at this time of year: who really has the cash to splash out on an expensive, wear-once-then-consign-to-the-back-of-the-closet party dress when there are all those gifts to buy – not to mention food, and all of the other expenses that come with the season? Well, fear not, bargain hunters, for this season you will be able to buy yourself a…

      Miss Selfridge party dress

      Roundup: Ten Perfect Party Dresses

      Most days, we’re happy to be out there, trawling the internet for crimes of fashion, and keeping style safe from fashion criminals. Other days, we just want to look at some pretty dresses. Today is one of the “other days”, so here are ten of our current favourite party dresses from the UK high street: enjoy!

      high-low dresses

      The high-low dress gets a makeover, is still inexplicable

      When we heard that the high-low dress had been re-invented, we were ecstatic. “About time!” we said. “These things have only been fashionable for a short time, and we’re already sick of the infernal things!” [For the benefit of the uninitiated, a “high-low” dress is one which is short at the front, but long at the back – or sometimes long at the sides, with two floaty side-panels surrounding a mini-skirt. You may also know it as the “mullet dress”. We certainly do.] It’s not that we HATE the high-low dress, you understand. As fashion crimes go, there are much bigger ones out there. It’s just that every time we see one (Which is a lot. You can’t look at fashion…

      Miss Francesca Couture Leopard Deep V Prom Dress

      Citizen’s Arrest: Miss Francesca Couture Leopard Deep V Prom Dress

      This crime was called in by concerned citizen Hannah, who’s spotted the perp over at ASOS.com, and known instantly that there was something very, very wrong. And by “something”, we mean “many things”. When our officers arrived on the scene, they didn’t know what to book this dress for first: The length? The cleavage? The Dynasty-style puffy sleeves? The print? ALL OF THESE THINGS COMBINED? In the end, we arrested it on multiple charges. And it looks like we got there just in the nick of time, too, because: This crime is spreading. Not content to restrict itself to just one dress, it’s infiltrated two of them. Did we mention that this will cost you £260? The model is now recovering in…

      Aqua Bandstand Plunge Neck Open Back Pencil Dress

      The Cleavage Question: Aqua Bandstand Plunge Neck Open Back Pencil Dress

      We’ve spoken a lot here about the “how much cleavage is too much cleavage” question. We’d venture to suggest that this dress provides a handy illustration of the rule: when your clothing basically serves as a frame for your breasts… it’s too much cleavage. Also, when we can see the tan lines from your bikini: again, too much cleavage. And no, you fact that this dress has long sleeves doesn’t make it any better. What do you think? Is it too much? Did you look at the dress, or did you just see the breasts? [Buy it]

      comme des garcons oversized dress

      Does my butt look big in this?

      Thanks to Comme des Garcobs, the answer posed in the question will always be “yes”. Yes, your butt DOES look kinda big in that dress, now you come to mention it! And so does you hips, toso, and… well, just everything, really. That’s the whole point, though: this dress is part of a whole range of “oversized” items from Comme des Garcons, and they’re designed to make everything look that little bit – or, OK, that BIG bit – larger than life. We don’t know: we guess you could say it’s a refreshing change from all of the clothes designed to make us look smaller and thinner? And at least with these, you definitely won’t have to worry about undoing…