OK, sure, if you wear them exactly as shown above, then you can expect to be hearing from our officers. And probably the officers of the actual police, too, because what you’re basically looking at here, fashion jurors, is a pair of footless, fishnet tights with a tatoo print on the upper part of the leg. It’s not something we’d necessarily wear ourselves, but if you wanted the look of tattooed legs, say, without the actual “getting a tatoo” bit, and if you were prepared to wear something with them to cover your crotch (for let us never forget that tights are not pants, readers), we can see how these might appeal to some of you.
What we can’t really see is why they need to cost $435. Are they woven from unicorn hair? Do they posses magical, thigh-slimming properties? Or has the Emperor been doing a spot of shopping again? You tell us…
The spherical pattern is illustriously decorated with 16 certified hand-set diamonds. Each diamond commands exquisite color, clarity, cut and luster. Every diamond is an example of natural beauty as nothing is more rare, precious, beautiful or indestructible as a diamond! The design is encrusted with 8 white diamonds each over 1ct and 8 ‘enhanced’ rare black diamonds also over 1ct each.
And where would one buy the most expensive t-shirt in the world, we totally don’t hear you ask? Why, at themostexpensivetshirtintheworld.com. OBVIOUSLY.
At a time when nothing in life is certain, isn’t it reassuring to know that some things never chance, and that Rick Owens is still charging over $500 for a pair of his saggy, mud-coloured shorts, despite repeated cautions from The Fashion Police?
No, we didn’t think so. Because, seriously, the two pairs of shorts in the image? That’s over $1000 worth of designer fashion, right there.
THIS is what’s wrong with the fashion world, people, you mark our words.
OK, it’s not: it’s actually “only” $1944.44. Because that makes ALL the difference, doesn’t it?
Why is this hat almost $2000?
Er, ya got us. Our best guess is “Because it’s OMGGIVENCHY.” But if you have some other explanation for why in the wide world anyone would want to pay that much money for a hat with ears, we’d love to hear it.
We’ll just let that sink in for a moment, shall we?
In their defence, they’re not actually hair elastics. They’re bracelets. Yeah, like all hair elastics are sometimes “bracelets”, when you pull them out of your pony and stick them on your wrists.
These ones really are supposed to be bracelets, though, and the reason they’re so expensive is that the metal part is 18K gold.
We get that canvas shoppers can be handy. For, you know, groceries, and trips to the beach, and other such affairs. And we get that they can be cute, and funny, and, dare we say it, quirky. (We feel dirty now.) We know that Anya Hindmarch, in particular, is beloved by the fashion world, and possessed of an extraordinary ability to convince people that her canvas tote bags are worth paying $295 for, like the one shown above.
Are they, though?
We’re going to go with a big fat NO. Because, honestly, we could buy lots of pairs of shoes for that. Or a really good quality leather handbag. And we can pick up canvas totes almost anywhere, for a few pounds at most – or sometimes even free, when summer rolls around and magazines start giving the things away.
What do you think, though? Do you want to drop $300 on a canvas bag? (Note: IT’S DESIGNER.)
So, this exists. And honestly, we didn’t even know what it WAS at first (that’s always a bad sign), we just knew it looked like something Coco the Clown might have worn as a nipper. That’s not a good sign either, now we come to think of it.
What we mostly want to talk about here, however, is the price. See, this is £835, which is about $1,295. In its defence:
1. It’s hand-knitted
2. It’s alpaca wool.
Even so, unless it was actually hand-knitted BY alpacas, we still can’t imagine spending that much on… this. Seriously, just imagine handing over over $1000 and walking away with this! To think of all of the awesome shoes you could get for that price! Even assuming it took YEARS of hard work to create, we’d still kinda hate ourselves for spending that much money and only having a multicolured gilet to show for it.
What do you think? Daylight Robbery, or actually quite reasonable for hand-knitted item?
(This is by SUNO, by the way, and you can click here if you want to buy it…)
