Crocs were the biggest fashion crime of 2007: official!

Crocs

Well, the results of our Fashion Crimes of 2007 poll are in, and so we can now announce – with very little surprise – that the biggest Fashion Crime of last year, according to our readers, was…. Crocs!

At the time of writing, we’ve had a total of 1367 votes, with the colourful plastic shoes attracting 35.8% of the vote. The top five in full was:

1. Crocs
2. Shants
3.
Harem pants
4. Uggs
5. High waists

Putting the rest of the Fugly Five aside for the moment (we’ll be dealing with them later), just why is it that we all hate Crocs so much? Well, for the benefit of those of you for whom the fact that they’re brightly coloured plastic gardening shoes with holes in them doesn’t answer that question, let’s take a quick look at the phenomenon that is the Croc…

For me personally, the worst thing about Crocs isn’t the fact that they’re ugly: it’s the fact that they seem to almost glory in being ugly. They are proud of their fugliness, constantly finding new ways to make themselves look even more repellent than they already are.

They’re made of plastic.
They typically come in the kinds of colours you only ever see on an acid trip.
They have holes in the front.
And little jewels and badges to stick in the holes.
They have that weird, sticky-out bit at the back, which makes each wearer look like their shoes are two sizes too big for them.
They make your feet look enormous.
THEY’RE GARDENING SHOES.

And as if all that wasn’t enough, they go and make them with fur trim and in boot form.

Despite all of this, Crocs have somehow managed to attract a huge legion of fans, most of whom seem to walk around (in PLASTIC GARDENING SHOES) telling everyone that they’re SO! COMFY! and that their kids love them. These Croc lovers make two fatal mistakes:

Croc-lover mistake 1: The belief that shoes must be ugly in order to be comfortable, and that beautiful shoes always hurt

Most of the Croc-defenders I’ve spoken to seem to assume that there are only two choices when it comes to footwear: either ugly but comfortable or beautiful but painful. This is not so. There are countless pairs of comfortable yet stylish shoes out there. Ones that are not made of plastic, and don’t look like one of Snow White’s dwarves just kicked them off. Hell, even trainers are more stylish than Crocs, and trainers are rarely stylish at all.

Equally, of course, there are many "comfortable" items of apparel that just aren’t appropriate attire for adults. For instance, I love my old pink dressing gown, but that isn’t an argument for going out in public wearing it. The same goes for Crocs, which might be eminently suitable for gardening, or for children, but will make you look like a clown when you try to wear them to the supermarket.

The fact is, we’re not asking you to wear uncomfortable shoes or damage your feet. We’re not even asking you to give up your beloved Crocs. We’re just asking you to accept that there are other choices of shoe that are just as comfortable, and that you don’t have to wear clown shoes in order to be able to walk.

Croc-lover mistake 2: The belief that if your children like something, it must be OK for you to wear it too

This is the most puzzling defense of Crocs I’ve heard – and I’ve heard it a good few times, now. It happens when a Croc-lover, faced with the fact that other people think their shoes are ugly, blurt out the line: "WELL MY KIDS LOVE THEM!" Um, good for them. That doesn’t mean you have to dress your entire family in them, though, does it? The fact that people actually do this – entire families all dressed in matching Crocs – is one of the main reasons Crocs continue to boggle my mind. Why would adults want to dress like kids? Especially when it involves smelly plastic shoes? Nope, I still don’t get it.

Of course, there are those adults who like Crocs because they are FUN! And WACKY! And KERRAZY! To those people we simply say, "good luck". And also: here are some other wacky, crazy items you might like.

So, Crocs win the house cup as the biggest fashion crime of 2007. I wonder what horrors 2008 will bring?   

18 Comments

  • January 3, 2008

    marian

    i totally agree but i think the other piece to why they win this horrible honor is because unlike shants they seem to be taking over. beyond the bad excuses it is purely that i have to deal with them in my line of sight on a daily basis. no one has shown up at my house in see through pants but i have had to allow crocs and croc-wearers in to my personal non-ugly but still comfortable home. the horror!!!

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  • January 5, 2008

    The Clothes Horse

    Amen, now can we officially band them? Maybe we can confiscate every last one and then burn them or since plastic isn’t good to burn we can find a deep dark hole or cave…

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  • January 8, 2008

    Lo

    Okay, each time I see a person wearing crocs I feel like crying. And burning them. That’s the person wearing the crocs, not the crocs.
    What the hell?? I mean, seriously, no need to be a fashionista in order to realize those things are FUGLY. And how can rubber be comfy? How’s that possible at all? It’s like a rubber case around their feet, that must make their feet hot, I’m sorry. I agree with Marian, ban the stupid things. We banned those little ball thingies that gave cancer, well, crocs make people depressed. Reason enough to ban them, right?
    I’m not even gonna get started with shants. All I’m gonna say is: WHORE. That’s it. They’re bloody see-through “pants,” people! SEE-THROUGH. Get the concept of see-through? I don’t wanna go down the street and be like “Oh, she’s wearing nice underwear.” There should be a law against these things, seriously.
    Harem pants… You know who needs these? Smugglers and baby kidnappers. You look like you’re hiding stuff in them, be it drugs from Mexico, babies from Asia/Africa, or your fat legs. The first two are illegal. If you wanna hide your fat legs, go to the gym/stop eating McDonald’s, these make you look GROSS. Gosh.
    Ugg means Ugly. Do you have any idea the times I’ve seen girls wearing fabulous tops, fabulous jeans and Uggs? That’s just bad! Uggs suck! Look at them! It’s like someone got a rug and shaped it like a boot! Why would anyone wear these?
    High waists. No comment. Seriously. Wear one of those and check your ass in the mirror. There’s the reason you shouldn’t wear that.
    All in all, these five suck thoroughly. If you wear them you should die or be burned/shot, be banned from any social group you belong to and join the outcasts that wear these forsaken things.
    Lo.

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  • January 16, 2008

    Dario

    They are just comfortable, I use them in my house, I wear them when I back from Work, just to be comfortable in my flat…
    The clothers Horse did you never try the crocs I think, they are comfortable to wear at home, of course YOU CANT go out with them, they are jsut for a swimming pool or for a beach or in Home…

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  • January 16, 2008

    The Fashion Police

    Dario: you didn’t actually read this post, did you?

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  • January 16, 2008

    Susan Mann

    I have Charcot’s foot(around the left ankle) for 5 years and I had pain with every step. I also badly sprained my right ankle last year. My daughter bought croc’s for her family and I tried hers on. That same day I bought a pair for myself. Within 3 weeks I could walk with out the slightest bit of pain and I will wear CROCS from now on

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  • January 21, 2008

    MommyOh

    I don’t let other people tell me what to wear- and that includes self-proclaimed fashion police. I just stopped to comment because I am confused by #3 on the list- are you sure that wasn’t the fashion crime of 1987 instead of 2007? I didn’t realize that harem pants were still available even in thrift stores.

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  • January 21, 2008

    Avant-Garde K

    I agree with MommyOh, I wouldn’t even know where to purchase Harem pants, nor have I seen anyone wear them. Thank god for that, I fear if I do I might just slap them.

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  • January 26, 2008

    foolintherain

    Yeah Crocs are ridiculously ugly, as are shants, harem pants, and high waist pants. Uggs are, in all honesty, not the most attractive shoe by far, but in colder climates it’s sometimes necessary to stay warm. Wearing flats, heels, or even tennis shoes in Seattle when it’s cold out is usually setting yourself up for torture by frostbite of the foot.

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  • January 28, 2008

    Fisharu

    I think that appropriately colored crocs are acceptable. Black crocs with black socks are far from ridiculous, and they help me as both a stagehand and as a musician in how comfortable they are. People need to learn not to wear things that are puke green, and learn that there is a proper way to dress oneself, it’s not totally the shoes’ fault.

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  • January 29, 2008

    alice

    Ok, first I think the fashion police are a waste of time and effort. Tolerance rather than socially mandated clothing rules is more to my taste. What others wear is of virtually no interest to me.
    Second,if Crocs were the biggest fashion crime of the year crime was way down or people have been walking around with their eyes closed. The purses on the market are all as ugly as sin and useless to boot. They are tiny with tiny straps so you have to consciously hold them all the time.
    I love color and I find Crocs quite comfortable. I admit that I can’t get into the furry bits but it makes more sense on the shoes than for decoration on useless purses.
    By the by I don’t have any crocs even though I find them appealing because I simply cannot afford new shoes.

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  • January 29, 2008

    Charlotte

    Alice, if what others wear is of no interest to you, why are you reading a website about what other people wear?
    I absolutely freaking hate Crocs. In my town, whole families walk around in matching pairs. It’s like some kind of weird cult or something. Maybe those who wear them have been brainwashed by the “they’re so comfy” mantra that they all repeat non stop?

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  • January 29, 2008

    Charlotte

    Alice, if what others wear is of no interest to you, why are you reading a website about what other people wear?
    I absolutely freaking hate Crocs. In my town, whole families walk around in matching pairs. It’s like some kind of weird cult or something. Maybe those who wear them have been brainwashed by the “they’re so comfy” mantra that they all repeat non stop?

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  • January 29, 2008

    Ems

    It makes me laugh to read the comments on this post from Croc lovers, all of them banging on about how “comfy”they are. When will they understand, WE DONT CARE IF THEY’RE COMFY! Do these people HONESTLY think that there is no way to be comfortable unless you’re dressed like a clown?

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  • January 30, 2008

    Drummy

    I personally don’t like the look, but I got some of those fuzzy liner crocks for christmas. And seeing as I’m a poor cheap ass bastard, and they do have a fuzzy inner liner. I still wear them. Is that so wrong?

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  • March 20, 2008

    Diana

    HAHAHA funny all the things written by the CROC lovers .. I absolutely HATE crocs, they´re the ugliest THINGS out there, they don´t even DESERVE to be called SHOES… and HAREM pants, OH YES! when I went to Buenos Aires, Ar. I saw LOTS of WOMEN wearing THAT and I was like OMG WHAT THE HELL IS that??!! I truly hate all those items from above… REALLY

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  • August 15, 2008

    emily

    CROCS…ARE…NOT…COMFY!!!!!!
    my friends have tried to convince me, but i can barely walk in crocs and don’t see what’s so comfy about a piece of rubber 3 times too big for your foot.
    did i mention they’re fugly?

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  • July 24, 2011

    CROCS | Electronics Find

    […] crocs thefashionpolice.net […]

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