Crochet Crimes: Crocheted shoes by Rachel Comey

Crocheted-shoes

Crocheted shoes. That’s… something we hoped we’d never have to see.  See them we have, though, and having seen them, we feel we have no option but to send in some officers to bring them back to the cells. Sorry, shoes, this will hurt us more than it’ll hurt you. (Note: not really.)

Not being crocheters ourselves, we do have some questions about these which maybe those of you more versed in the ways of crocheted footwear can answer for us. Questions like: how long would it be before the wool frayed and our feet burst through the tops, like the Alien bursting from Sigourney Weaver’s belly? Would they smell like wet wool when it rained? What happens when the tops get dirty? Does anyone else think the pink uppers look a bit like entrails, if you kinda half close your eyes, and squint at them a bit? And finally, that age old question: why? Just… why?

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12 Comments

  • April 17, 2009

    merges

    Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwww, yuck!

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  • April 17, 2009

    Sarah

    I actually didn’t think they were that bad. All you have to do is watch the weather, which is something you should kind of do anyway since the weather can affect *any* shoes. For summer, I think these could be cute.

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  • April 17, 2009

    Rock Hyrax

    I was convinced this was one of those “fashion as art” projects (you know, like the moles?), but sadly no…

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  • April 17, 2009

    fran

    Are these designed for clowns? You’d have to have pretty big feet to wear them!

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  • April 17, 2009

    Celeste

    When you said crochet shoe, I was imagining a sandal or wedge with some sort of crochet straps. Not this clunker with random bits of yarn. Seriously, I think the idea is doable, but they did it all wrong.

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  • April 17, 2009

    Kuri

    The answers to your questions depend entirely on what fibre the crochet yarn is. I suspect cotton, or a cotton/acrylic blend, however, which would wear fairly well and not smell.

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  • April 17, 2009

    Ma'at

    I don’t think we (the crocheters) are responsible for this, these look more like knit work. Either way I think this shoe is ugly more so for it’s insane largeness and bad color choices, and not it’s fiber art goodness lol.

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  • April 18, 2009

    Anna

    Ew. Not only are they ugly, but I can totally see the tops getting caught on things and ripping within the first week. Who thought that crocheted shoes would be a good idea and what kind of crack were they on?

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  • April 18, 2009

    Bethany

    Weeellll… I can’t get a good enough look at them to say for sure whether they’re knitted or crocheted. I suspect that they’re knit. Whichever, I do agree that they’re a waste of someone’s time and talent. As for smelling, it really does depend on whether they’re wool or some synthetic fiber. There’s yarn for sale spun out of chitin which is supposed to actually neutralize foot odor.

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  • April 18, 2009

    The Fashion Police

    To the people saying they may be knitted: I took the description “crocheted” from the retailer’s website. They’re describing them as “crocheted”, so I took them at their word – I don’t knitor crochet myself, though, so I can’treally say whether they’re mistaken or not.

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  • April 19, 2009

    vashti

    Looks to me like they really might be crocheted, possibly even hairpin lace. I don’t think the color does the concept justice. I’d like to see them modeled on feet. That could make a big difference in the look, otherwise it’s just a weird stringy mass.
    As far as smell or function, I think that’s just snarkytalk. So call them sandals, does that help? There have been rope-type sandals over the years that work just fine and don’t smell any more than any other shoe.
    Can’t tell for sure but looks more like cotton string than wool yarn to me.

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  • June 24, 2009

    Kate

    Put me down for a pair if they come with a matching purse. I think I made these when I was 11 and got the “my first crotchet” kit.

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