No one wants to be accused of committing Crimes of Fashion, but with so many fashion "rules" to keep on mind, it can be hard to know what's right and what's wrong. Luckily, you have The Fashion Police to help you find your way through the fashion minefield. Preventing Crimes of Fashion is what we do best, and the articles below will give you a peak inside our jailhouse: where bad fashion goes to die. You'll find ugly dresses, deadly denim and sock horrors of all descriptions, so whether you're worried about committing crimes of fashion yourself, or just want to laugh at the mistakes of others, The Fashion Police are happy to help.
The Fashion Police are dedicated to the art of walking in heels. We think nothing of donning a pair of skyscrapers to chase down fashion criminals or patrol the mean streets of Fashion Land. But we think even we might have to draw the line at these, because they’re possibly the first shoes we’ve seen that have forced us to utter the words, “But how on EARTH are you supposed to walk in them?!”
We’re assuming there must be a way to do it. These are sold out at SoleStruck, after all, and we don’t expect all those people coughed up $245.95 just to sit and admire them. Every time we look at them, though, we imagine ourselves falling backwards, and landing on our asses. And that’s a look that’s never in fashion.
You’re thinking it’s just a slightly-baggy skirt, aren’t you?
Look closer:
Yes, that’s the crotch you can see. At her knees. And of all the things there are to wonder about here, it’s the strange combination of office-casual and fashion criminal that really has us scratching our heads. Who would wear such a thing, we wonder? Is this what happens to edgy young fashionistas when they grow up and have to start working a desk job? Or is it just a sensible solution to the skirt that blows up in the breeze?
It had to happen eventually, didn’t it? Women have been able to, er, enjoy, shresses and shants for years now, after all, so it’s only fair that men should be able to get in on the action too, with these sheer shorts by Mugler.
We could forgive these if they were underwear, of course. But we don’t think they are, because they’re polyurethane and that can’t be comfortable under a pair of jeans, say. Oh yeah, and because they’re $570, and who buys $570 underpants? Other than fashion victims, we mean?
So, guys, how do you feel about wearing shorts that will put either you or your underwear on full display? Want a pair? Then click here, and have your credit card at the ready…
You know, there’s a girl in our neighbourhood who has this exact outfit… and she looks absolutely adorable in it.
Of course, that girl is 11 months old. She’d look adorable in anything.
It’s our belief that bloomer playsuits should remain the sole preserve of the baby’s and toddlers of the world, and that grown women should maybe think about putting on their big girl pants – literally – and leaving the elasticated legs of the bloomer suit to the much younger generation. But if you disagree, and think you could make this work, then more power to you: you can click here to buy it from ASOS, where it’s £45.
“No, seriously, I’m a size 0 – look how tiny my clothes are!”
Well, that’s one way to try to trick people into thinking you wear a smaller size than you really do, we guess. And also a good way to make yourself look like you’ve been raiding the wardrobe of very tiny people. Win-win!
We just spent way too long looking at the close-up of these pants on Shopbop, in a bid to establish whether or not this model is wearing underwear. Way too long. We’re never getting that time back, people, but it’s OK: we stare at the model’s butt so you don’t have to .
Conclusions:
1. Yes, she is wearing underwear.
2. Pants that prompt people to stare intently at your nether regions because they can see right through them are an automatic fashion violation in our book. You may not pass ‘Go’. You may not collect $200.
Oddly, they look a little less see-through in white…
Indah ‘Moreno’ sweater pants, $80.50 at Shopbop: click here to buy them.
