When floral print goes wrong. Really wrong.

We just bet you're not looking at this dress and thinking, "£1,132, right there!" are you? Or even "Designed by Dolce & Gabbana".

In fact, if anything, you're probably thinking, "Ah, so THAT'S what happens when florals throw up!"

It looks like floral print threw up all over this dress, and while we're not adverse to a bit of floral at this time of year, we tend to think this looks like the perfect day dress for the madwoman in the attic. Who's probably the only person who'd pay over £1,000 for it - or even the £570 it's been reduced to at Yoox.

What do you think, readers? Is this the perfect avenue for your $917 or, you know... not?

Cotton playsuit by Boutique: for the saggy butt n' belly look

Lately we've been re-considering our stance on play-suits. And, having re-considered, we've also performed one of our characteristic about-faces and decided that we really quite like them. They can be super-cute for summer/the beach, and yes, folks, the Fashion Police are ON BOARD with the playsuits.

Just not this one.

Because from the front, this playsuit looks like it has room for you to carry your young in. And from the back, it looks like it has room for a diaper.

And it's £60.

The playsuits were doing so well, too...

American Apparel under Fashion Police investigation for "non-hippie related use of tie dye"

We've had a few emails now relating to American Apparel's tie dye cotton spandex harem pants, but we think Delaney said it best, writing, "I think that you should arrest this monstrosity for non-hippie related use of tie dye, in addition to the obvious drop-crotch horror. The five-star rating, suggestion to look at AA's "Afrika Print" version, and matching tie-dye tube top force me to reach for the eye bleach."

Of course, the, uh, great thing about these is that, if you don't want to wear them as a jumpsuit, as shown above, you just just yank down the top and wear them as a stripper pants. Look:

Yeah. If you're done with that eyeball bleach, Delaney, would you mind passing it in this direction?

Comme des Garcons shirt attacked by wild animals

Oh, now, this is just TRAGIC now, isn't it? Tragic. We can only guess at what happened to this poor shirt - how it came to have its insides ripped out, and had to be held together with a couple of makeshift straps - but to the practiced eyes of The Fashion Police, this looks to have all the signs of an organised attack. This is worrying indeed, because where there's one of these offences, there's usually more: and, indeed, there is, because this is also available in black!

Can anyone help this poor shirt by giving it a home? It may not look as nice as your other shirts, but at least you'll be doing a good deed, and it'll only cost you £145. Any takers?

Fashion Ripper Strikes Again: Classic Converse are latest victims

He's ripped leggings, tights and tops, and it's with great sadness that the Fashion Police can now confirm that a pair of Converse Chuck Taylors have become the latest victim of this most dangerous of fashion criminals.

"These sneakers were just minding their own business," said a spokesperson for the force. "Who would do such a thing?"

We don't know, but we certainly aim to find out. The sneakers, meanwhile, are recovering from their orderl at the Free People Clothing Boutique, where you can buy them for $128,

Bagg'ns: the solution to the saggy jeans problem

"If you must sag - sag respectfully, sag responsibly." This is the philosophy behind Bagg'ns, the jeans that will allow you to look like you're wearing saggy jeans, without forcing you to actually wear saggy jeans. As you can see, there are two waistbands, so your butt remains respectfully covered at all times, meaning that you won't get in trouble with the police. Not even in Flint, Michigan.

Will you get in trouble with the Fashion Police, though? Oh, come on, what do YOU think?

We do appreciate the humour apparent in the Bagg'ns website, though,so check it out here to see the various Bagg'ns for men, too - and buy them, if you so desire!

Frankenshoes: Marc Jacobs mates shoes and tables

Yes, folks, Marc Jacobs, mad scientist that he is, has been at it again, and this time his experiments seem to have centred around throwing a table and a shoe into a room and leaving them alone for a few hours to see what happened.

This is what happened: a shoe with a table-leg attached to it. And not a very nice shoe, either, if we're honest. Seriously, if you have to combine shoes and tables, Marc, could you not have picked a shoe that at least looks like it's supposed to have a heel?

Instead, he's picked a shoe that can only be described as "sensible". This shoe never wanted a stiletto heel. It wanted to be left alone, to live out its days in peace and quiet, maybe taking the odd stroll to the  shops for a cup of tea and a scone.

Instead, this happened to it. Poor shoe. If you feel like rescuing it, you can buy it here, but be warned: it may not look it, but it's $792.

Introducing the Drop-Crotch Dress. You heard us.

Seriously? Seriously? Designers are so desperate to add a dropped-crotch to everything now that they're even willing to put one on a DRESS? Because yes, that's a dropped crotch right there, folks. Yes, we know you thought it was just a dress that had, you know, got a little bit tangled up in the model's legs. But no, it's a dress with a crotch. Which, yes, technically makes it a jumpsuit, but of course you can call it whatever you like: we're going to settle for calling it a crime of fashion, and we're starting to despair of this particular crime (the drop-crotch in general) ever ending.

This is on sale, unsurprisingly, and you can pick it up at Shopbop for $139.

Jodhpur Jeans: yes, your hips DO look big in them

Jamie sent us this image, plus a question:

"Unsure of whether your thighs look big in a pair of pants?" asks Jamie. "With these pants you will never have to ask that question again"

It's very true, but unless you're going horse riding in the 1930s, we don't think there's much of an excuse for these. If you beg to differ, you may be relieved of your 90 euros here.

Prada's sheer disgrace pants: the most blatant case of Daylight Robbery yet

Did people really learn NOTHING from the story of the Emperor's new clothes? Because Miuccia Prada must surely have laughed all the way to the bank the day she realised she could charge people £228 a time to basically walk around naked, no?

(And OK, these have been reduced to £155 at Yoox.com, but that's still about, oh, £155 too much for us...)