Crimes of Fashion

      frumpy denim skirt

      Denim is about to get ugly

      Be honest: you’d hide your face from the camera too if you were wearing something that looked like this, wouldn’t you? Today, Fashion Force, we’re the bearer of bad tidings: denim is going to get really ugly this year. And we thought it was bad enough LAST year! The item…

      suspender jeans

      Crime of Fashion? Suspender jeans

      It’s our first arrest of 2015, and we really hope this one hasn’t set the tone for the year, because we just don’t think our officers could cope with more than one pair of “suspender” jeans. Actually, it’s hard enough to believe there’s a demand for this pair. They’re $450…

      the ugliest dresses of the year

      The Ugliest Dresses of 2014

      We hope all our officers are having a happy holiday season, and taking the opportunity to rest up and get ready for a super-stylish new year. Right now, though, it’s still 2014, and we’re continuing our look back at some of the biggest fashion fails of the year – in…

      the ugliest trousers of 2014

      The Ugliest Trousers of 2014

      The holiday season is almost upon us, and, it being the season of goodwill and all that, The Fashion Police generally like to declare a fashion crime amnesty at this time of year, allowing fashion criminals to go forth and do their worst, without fear of arrest. While our officers…

      dress with four sets of arms

      This dress is ‘armful

      [Buy it here] It’s not often we get to make the same bad joke twice in quick succession, but having recently shown you the ‘armless coat, we couldn’t resist pointing out its opposite – the ‘armful dress. (As in, it’s full of arms…) Yes, Fashion Force, this dress has twice…

      Birkenstocks with socks

      Skirt, Sandals, Socks

      [Buy here] Back in the summer, Birkenstocks (or Birkenstock-style sandals) all of a sudden became the height of fashion, and every edgy fashionista dutifully rushed out and bought a pair. There they all were, clomping around in hideous shoes, declaring that they’d “always” loved them – even although they had…

      bucket shaped skirt

      The Story of a Skirt

      So, here’s what we think happened: it was The Clothes Ripper. Yes, AGAIN. This poor model was obviously just walking around, minding her own business, as you do. In a $160 bra. Well, we’ve all been there, haven’t we? Maybe everything else was in the wash that day, who knows?…

      strange sweaters

      Not Your Average Sweaters

      It’s sweater weather! No doubt you’ll have already seen a million fashion editorials, and a million-and-one blog posts helpfully informing you of this very fact. Gone are the days when the humble sweater was the “sensible” choice for a cold day, however. No, today’s sweaters are fashion-forward, edgy and unique….

      leather trousers

      Would it sell on eBay?

      We’ve been here before, we know: Jeremy Scott patent lace-up trousers, £1110 Well, not here EXACTLY, obviously. Thankfully we don’t see too many pairs of pants like this as part of mainstream fashion collections, (When we do, though, Jeremy Scott is often responsible…), but there was a trend for patent…


      Well, this is awkward.

      Some fashions are ugly. Some are just plain awkward. Others, meanwhile, manage to be both ugly AND awkward. Which category would you put this one in… if any? It kinda looks like this Peter Pilotto cape (£790 at Louisa Via Roma) has basically jumped up and grabbed the poor model, who,…


      Five knitwear styles to avoid this fall

      September starts on Monday, which means some of you are probably starting to think about your autumn/winter wardrobes, and, in particular, knitwear. There’s nothing quite like snuggling up in a cosy sweater on a chilly day, is there? Except, of course, the sweater in question is one of these… We…


      Introducing the Maxi/Mini

      It’s not technically true to say that Cheap Monday have “invented” the mini/maxi skirt because, much to our distress, we HAVE, in fact, been subjected to this kind of thing before. (Never with the addition of chunky white shoes, mind you. That really adds something to it, don’t you think?)…