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Archive for the ‘Crimes of Fashion’ Category
 For those looking for all the style of a hoodie, but none of the actual function of one (i.e. warmth), Topshop’s mesh version is a bargain at £30.
We guess there are probably situations where people would find this a suitable item of clothing (are there?), though, so actually, the real question here is whether a sheer hoodie should be referred to as a “shoodie”. We think we’ll probably do that anyway. Readers, meet the SHOODIE. Would you wear it?
They’re not normally known for their adventures in high fashion, but it seems that Dorothy Perkins have looked towards Alexander Wang for inspiration for these zippered ankle boots, which they’re selling for £55.
Now, these boots would never have found favour with The Fashion Police anyway: for one thing, they’re peep toe boots, and you all know how we feel about THAT. For another, they have that strange “boot-within-a-boot” thing going on, and we can live without that too. If these boots MUST appear on the high street, though, this is the kind of designer copycat we like: they’re not so similar that they could be accused of being direct knockoffs, but the style is similar enough to make them a good budget option to anyone who loved, but couldn’t afford, the £620 Alexander Wang originals.
We still wouldn’t wear them, though. Would you?
Wednesday, March 17th, 2010
 All Kinds of Wrong Oh, that Alexnder Wang! Such a kidder! As if it wasn’t bad enough that he’s already damaged our eyesight once this year with his creation of the Worst! Shorts! Ever!, he’s now gone ahead and ATTACHED those shorts to a pair of drab looking sweatpants. AS IF WE WOULDN’T NOTICE.
Let’s see:
- Clothes That Are Stuck Together - Check
- Peep Toe Boot Rule in effect – Check
- Sweatpants that should never been seen in public – Check
- Overly literal application of the Underwear as Outerwear trend – Check
It’s affirmative, folks: we have ourselves a fully-fledged crime of fashion right here. These are $115 at Saks Fifth Avenue.
Wednesday, March 17th, 2010
For some reason, we really want to touch this dress. (Note: TOUCH, not WEAR) It looks like it has a really interesting texture and, you know, texture is nice. Texture is good. And, of course, ruffles can be good, too. CAN be. Are they still good when there are so many of them that the dress looks like it could possibly be some kind of living organism, though, rather than a humble item of clothing?
We’ll leave that up to you to decide. Those of you who decide that yes, this dress is a very good thing indeed, can buy it at Topshop, where it’s £140.
We WERE going to make this the Ugly Harem Pant of the Day (joke!), but we know a lot of you are actually quite fond of the Dress Like a Toddler trend, when it’s applied to items of clothing designed to be worn in the privacy of your own home, so all we’re going to say about these Care Bear suits is that they exist, they’re $85.47 and they’re available from ASOS. And that we somehow don’t think this guy’s getting lucky if he wears this to bed tonight…
[Thanks to Colette for the report!]
 Hot & Cold You know those days when your feet are really hot, but your ankles are f-f-freezing?
Um, no, we don’t either. Someone out there is clearly having that very problem, though, and luckily for that person (or people, even), Koolaburra have come up with the solution: a thong sandal with a shearling cuff to keep your ankles nice and toasty.
If that sounds like exactly what you’ve been waiting for, they’re $140 at Neiman Marcus.
We know from previous posts here that a lot of our readers hate ironing. So do we, to be honest, although we do it in preference to walking around in wrinkled clothes.
What if the clothes were ALREADY wrinkled, though? As in, that’s how they’re supposed to look, and if you tried to iron them, you’d be completely defeating the purpose, stupid!
These Miss Selfridge tank tops fall into that category: they’re £14 each, and come with that “pre-worn and washed” look, so they’ll look like they’ve been lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the wardrobe no matter what you do. They remind us of those “crinkle” shirts people used to wear in the 80s, and they actually make us feel a little itchy, like we desperately want to IRON something. Right now. That’s what OCD does for you, kids!
Do you like the “I don’t own an iron” look enough to want to buy clothes like this? For us they fall into the same category as pre-ripped jeans: yes, it’s a particular kind of look, but it’s one we can achieve perfectly well on our own without paying someone else to rip and wrinkle our clothes for us, but if you love these to death (they actually look like they’ve ALREADY been loved to death, but whatever), you can buy them here.
Does the fact that these pants look more like a skirt than anything else make them better or worse than some of the ugly harem pants that have gone before them? These are the kind of complex and important questions The Fashion Police find themselves having to answer, and quite frankly, we now find ourselves so deeply mired in Harem Hell that we just don’t know WHAT to think any more.
What do YOU think? Better or worse than their harem pant sisters? If a harem pant has a crotch that reaches the ANKLES, but no one can see it on account of all of the material around it, is it still a harem pant? If a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? The great unanswered questions of our time…
[Product page]
Photo Derek Ross/LFI
She smiles! Yes, our favourite fashion Dementor, Kristen Stewart, has actually managed to muster up a small smile as she arrived at the premiere of her new movie, The Runaways, last night. It’s not a huge smile, granted, and she still looks far from comfortable, but the very fact that she’s not scowling is almost enough to distract us from the pink mesh dress she’s wearing.
Good job, Kristen! Now let’s see you keep this up!
Thursday, March 11th, 2010
Just in case any of you were thinking – or perhaps hoping – that the “trend” for totally sheer items of clothing had finally died, and that designers had stopped trying to charge us hundreds of pounds for clothes that barely even exist, we present evidence to the contrary, courtesy of Valentino. Well, at least the skirt could come in handy as a slip, albeit a pretty expensive one. As for the shress, well, we can only hope no-one would actually try to wear it like that, hmm?
We must admit, we’re really curious to know who’s actually BUYING sheer clothes in a big enough quantity to justify the continued production of them by so many designers. Surely Lady Gaga can’t be keeping them ALL afloat?
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