Crimes of Fashion

      William Okpo knotted pants

      Get Knotted

      It’ll soon be shorts season, folks, but we’re not quite there yet, which means many of us are in search of the perfect transitional pieces, to wear now AND wear later in the season: William Okpo knotted pants, $210 Er, these pants aren’t it, by the way: these are just…

      half dress, half-jacket

      Half dress, half-jacket

      It’s not often you hear people wondering aloud how they can make their legs looks SHORTER – and by that we mean “it’s not EVER”. Nevertheless, Incotex have set out to find the solution to this totally imaginary problem, and we think they’ve managed it too, with these trousers: Ta…

      70s fashion

      The 70s revival has gone too far

      We feel like we’ve been fighting off the 70s fashion revival for months now. Probably because we have. When news of the 70s comeback first reared its head, back in January, we were concerned. We had a feeling this would all go horribly wrong, and that feeling stayed with us,…

      ball-of-fire-shorts

      The Ball of Fire Shorts

      Ball of Fire Shorts, $535 For once, we’re speechless. It’s… a pair of sports shorts with what appears to be some long, white hair attached to the crotch. And it’s $535. We’ve seen a lot of truly inexplicable items of clothing in our time at The Fashion Police, but this…

      ashish-jeans

      This is why we prefer dresses.

      As our officers parade the mean streets of the Internet’s retail sites, in search of fashion crimes to arrest, there are some types of clothing which are more likely than others to set our radar pinging. We could trawl dress or outerwear sections all day, for instance, and rarely see…

      fox top

      What does the fox say?

      [Buy it for £230] Ah, the classic stripe t-shirt! So simple, and yet so effective, especially at this time of year, when it works effortlessly with a pair of jeans or a skirt. It’s an all-time classic… it’s also maybe a little bit boring, though? Don’t you think? So why…

      jumpsuit with side boob

      Shoes to keep your feet dry

      Moschino terrycloth mules, £325 First of all, yes, these are by Moschino: how did you guess? (Er, apart from by the name on the label, obviously…) Secondly: no, your eyes do not deceive you – they really are made of terrycloth. As in, the same fabric as your towels, or your…

      feathered mary janes

      Feathered Fashion Fails

      This week, our officers identified a troubling new mini-trend: the feathered shoe: [feathered mules] My Theresa describes these as “the epitome of sheer elegance”. We, meanwhile, would describe them more like, “the epitome of roadkill, lying there all sad and bedraggled on the ground.” What’s that you say? They’re NOT…

      dress or bag

      Guess What It Is

      Anyone feel like hazarding a guess at what this is? Without cheating by scrolling down the page for the answer, we mean? Is it a sleeping bag? A tent? Some kind of Ikea lampshade cover? Because it totally looks like an Ikea lampshade cover, don’t you think? It isn’t, though….

      cropped wide-leg trousers with fringe detail

      Fringe Fashion Crimes

      1 / 2 You know those home-made posters people put up when they have a room to rent, or something to sell? The ones with the little strips cut into the bottom of the page, each with the person’s phone number on it, so you can tear one off and…

      tulle hoodie

      Who said hoodies were boring?

      Ah, the humble hoodie! It’s probably never going to be considered the most stylish item of clothing out there (Then again, we said that about Birkenstocks, and look what happened there. Never say ‘never’, Fashion Force…), but they’re one of those items most of us own anyway. They come in…

      big shoes

      Hey, Bigfoot

      All items: ASOS Shoes just aren’t fun any more. It’s disappointing, really. Over the course of the last year or two, we’ve watched with growing horror as the world of footwear took a turn for the ugly. We’ve traced the progress back to Jeffrey Campbell’s ubiquitous ‘Lita’ platforms. Rumour has it that…

      frumpy denim skirt

      Denim is about to get ugly

      Be honest: you’d hide your face from the camera too if you were wearing something that looked like this, wouldn’t you? Today, Fashion Force, we’re the bearer of bad tidings: denim is going to get really ugly this year. And we thought it was bad enough LAST year! The item…

      suspender jeans

      Crime of Fashion? Suspender jeans

      It’s our first arrest of 2015, and we really hope this one hasn’t set the tone for the year, because we just don’t think our officers could cope with more than one pair of “suspender” jeans. Actually, it’s hard enough to believe there’s a demand for this pair. They’re $450…

      the ugliest dresses of the year

      The Ugliest Dresses of 2014

      We hope all our officers are having a happy holiday season, and taking the opportunity to rest up and get ready for a super-stylish new year. Right now, though, it’s still 2014, and we’re continuing our look back at some of the biggest fashion fails of the year – in…

      the ugliest trousers of 2014

      The Ugliest Trousers of 2014

      The holiday season is almost upon us, and, it being the season of goodwill and all that, The Fashion Police generally like to declare a fashion crime amnesty at this time of year, allowing fashion criminals to go forth and do their worst, without fear of arrest. While our officers…