Crimes of Fashion

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      The Emperor’s New Fendi Trousers

      Well, whaddya know: it looks like our old friend The Emperor got himself some new trousers! [Buy them here for £136] It’s hard to be sure just from the evidence before us, but we THINK what we’re looking at here is a pair of tights, with a useless, totally sheer…

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      When Maxi Dresses Go Wrong

      The maxi dress. It’s a summer staple for many people: throw one on with a pair of sandals and a floppy sunhat, and you’re all set for a day by the pool, a trip to the beach, a leisurely day’s sightseeing… you can fill in the rest of this list…

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      Hilarious Hats: would you wear them?

      They say that if you want to get ahead, get a hat. Honestly, though, the only thing THESE hats are likely to get you is a citation slip from The Fashion Police. For instance… Ostrich feather headpiece, £1139 This isn’t so much a “hat” as it’s a wig. Wear it,…

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      More strange shoes: crimewave continues

      We usually leave most of the shoe talk to ShoeperWoman, but right now there are just too many ugly shoes out there for her to handle, so we’re stepping in to make a few arrests. As ShoeperWoman observed earlier this week, footwear fashion is going through something of an awkward…

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      Crimes of Fashion | Faces in Places

      With summer in full swing, you may be thinking of hitting the beach or pool this weekend. Before you do, you might want to take a look at what NOT to wear, including… [Buy it at Yoox.com] Now, it turns out that that’s a couple of bears on this bikini…

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      Strange Shoes |Footwear Fails on Trial

      While browsing Louisa Via Roma this week, our undercover officers discovered the following footwear offences – or possible offences, depending on your opinion: DSquared2 mink and suede pumps, £810 You’re probably never going to convince us that real fur on footwear is a good idea, but even if you could,…

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      Distressed jeans are distressing

      Go Jane has been on the Fashion Police radar for a while now: in fact, sometimes looking at the site is a bit like looking into out very own jail. There are a lot of things we could take issue with there (plus a few things we quite like, let’s…

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      The Dress-Like-A-Toddler Trend Gathers Pace

      You know, it’s probably not fair to describe the Style Suspects in this post as being victims of the “Dress Like a Toddler Trend“. After all, how many toddlers do YOU know who have a hat like THIS: [Buy it here for £343] Yes, this is a hat. A £343…

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      Crime of Fashion? Moschino does Underwear-as-Outerwear

      [Buy it here for £150] Well, it looks like Moschino are on track to win the coveted Fashion Criminals of the Year title (which isn’t actually a thing, but totally should be, don’t you think?). We’d give them the award mostly for their dedication to encouraging people to dress like toddlers ,…

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      Crime of Fashion? Lazy Oaf ‘Fur Face’ jacket

      Lazy Oaf ‘Fur Face’ jacket, $244 In a bid to be fair to this suspect, let us just first of all point out that at least it’s “only” $244, so while it’s still expensive (Especially considering its appearance…), it’s not QUITE as mind-bendingly expensive as some of the fashion criminals…

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      Fashion Crime Friday | Hands on your head

      In this week’s Fashion Crime roundup, we discover that the whole “strange and expensive headgear” trend is still going strong: [Buy it here for £284] Suspect # 1 | The Hand on Your Head We say “trend”. This isn’t a trend in the true sense of the world: or, at…