| | Category Archives: Crimes of FashionNo one wants to be accused of committing Crimes of Fashion, but with so many fashion "rules" to keep on mind, it can be hard to know what's right and what's wrong. Luckily, you have The Fashion Police to help you find your way through the fashion minefield. Preventing Crimes of Fashion is what we do best, and the articles below will give you a peak inside our jailhouse: where bad fashion goes to die. You'll find ugly dresses, deadly denim and sock horrors of all descriptions, so whether you're worried about committing crimes of fashion yourself, or just want to laugh at the mistakes of others, The Fashion Police are happy to help. Frankenshoes: Brian Atwood ‘Charleston’ & ‘Charlene’ | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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If this is what “The Introduction” is going to look like, we think we can do without being introduced, don’t you? Because it may be only a very small cameltoe, but if you look closely…it’s there. And once seen, it can never be unseen, can it?
Sass & Bide ‘The Introduction’ pants, $320, Shopbop: click here for the product page.
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When you read the words “silk and satin sandals” in the headline of this post, you probably weren’t expecting THESE, were you? And we don’t know about you, jurors, but if WE were going to be spending £706 on a pair of shoes, we probably wouldn’t want them to look like a cross between a toddler shoe and an old lady shoe. Which these do.
(And yeah, yeah, WE KNOW: they’ll be So! Comfy! Just like Crocs! But honestly, we don’t care about the So! Comfy! because, like Crocs, these are So! Ugly! they almost make our eyes bleed. There are other ways, readers! “Comfortable” doesn’t HAVE to go hand-in-hand with “ugly”: step into the light, and away from the Frankenshoes…)
This does beg an important question, however: why ARE comfortable shoes often ugly? Answers in the comments box…
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You know when you wear your denim hotpants OVER your leather trousers? It can be kind of uncomfortable, can’t it? Thank goodness, then, for R13, who’ve solved the problem we didn’t even know we had, by creating this shorts/pants hybrid, which gives you all the, er, “style” of denim-shorts-over-leather-pants, without the discomfort of it. And all of sudden, the world is a better place, except not really, because seriously, WHO DOES THAT? Who wears denim shorts over leather pants? Or ANY shorts over ANY pants? And why would you want to pay £521 to do it?
We don’t know the answer to any of these questions. We do, however, know that this item is headed straight to Fashion Police jail: you can click here to liberate it.
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Still, at least his knees will be nice and warm, no? In his $980 kimono sweater.
Click here to buy it.
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One of our dearest wishes in life is to see people actually walking around wearing some of the designs from the Jeremy Scott x Linda Farrow sunglasses collection. Preferably LOTS of people, all at the same time. That would be ace.
And yet, we never do. Not even in the larger cities we visit. Why is that, do you suppose? Can there REALLY not be that many people in the world willing to drop $300 on one of these designs? Surely not?
Still, we know that what we find comically ugly, many of you find OMGQUIRKY! and amazeballs, so tell us: would you wear these? Are they quirky, or are they a fashion crime? Perhaps they’re a crime of quirkiness?
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You know, we’ve always assumed that if people did wear lace trousers, they’d probably wear them with something more than just their knickers underneath. Like, oh we don’t know: leggings, maybe? Tights? Even cycle shorts?
Apparently not, though.
These are by Markus Lupfer and they’re $760. Because that’s how much it costs these days to look like you got dressed in the dark…
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QUESTION: What’s the difference between the clothes at Paris Haute Couture week, and the clothes you get on one of those “sexy clubwear” sites, like Great Glam or something?
Oh, yeah: there isn’t one.
Or not in the case of the two outfits above, that is. As for the rest of this show, take a look at the gallery and decide for yourselves…
[Images: PRPhotos.com]
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