The clothes ripper strikes again!
Late last night, The Fashion Police were called out to a crime scene over at Yoox.com where we were confronted with the terrible sight you see before you: a little black dress, ripped to shreds, and left for dead.
It didn’t take us long to identify a suspect in this terrible crime of fashion: it was immediately obvious that this was the work of none other than our old enemy…
THE CLOTHES RIPPER
(We know: dramatic, huh?)
We have no idea what the victim did – if anything – to deserve this vicious attack. All we can say is that while it might once have been a dull, but useful black dress, it’s now completely unsuited for the purpose of clothing, and while you COULD, of course, choose to wear something else underneath it (We’re not saying that would look great, mind you, just that you could do it…), we guess our next question is: for £470, why would you bother? Couldn’t you just rip up your OWN clothes, rather than waiting for the Clothes Ripper to do it for you?
While we’re on the subject of paying extortionate amounts of money for completely pointless pieces of clothing (which we kind of were…):
We’re going to need all officers to immediately stop whatever they’re doing and help us solve the mystery of:
a) Why this item exists
b) Why it costs £165
Because, as far as we can tell, wearing this would be more or less the same as simply going naked: the only difference is you can go naked for free. (Note: we don’t recommend doing it in public, though, or you risk getting in trouble with our counterparts at the regular police…)