Clothes Ripper strikes again: little black dress is latest victim

clothes ripper strikes again

The clothes ripper strikes again!

Late last night, The Fashion Police were called out to a crime scene over at Yoox.com where we were confronted with the terrible sight you see before you: a little black dress, ripped to shreds, and left for dead.

It didn’t take us long to identify a suspect in this terrible crime of fashion: it was immediately obvious that this was the work of none other than our old enemy…

THE CLOTHES RIPPER

Duh-duh-duuuuuuh.

(We know: dramatic, huh?)

We have no idea what the victim did – if anything – to deserve this vicious attack. All we can say is that while it might once have been a dull, but useful black dress, it’s now completely unsuited for the purpose of clothing, and while you COULD, of course, choose to wear something else underneath it (We’re not saying that would look great, mind you, just that you could do it…), we  guess our next question is: for £470, why would you bother? Couldn’t you just rip up your OWN clothes, rather than waiting for the Clothes Ripper to do it for you?

While we’re on the subject of paying extortionate amounts of money for completely pointless pieces of clothing (which we kind of were…):

completely pointless piece of clothing

We’re going to need all officers to immediately stop whatever they’re doing and help us solve the mystery of:

a) Why this item exists

and

b) Why it costs £165

Because, as far as we can tell, wearing this would be more or less the same as simply going naked: the only difference is you can go naked for free. (Note: we don’t recommend doing it in public, though, or you risk getting in trouble with our counterparts at the regular  police…)

Any theories? Is this also the work of the Clothes Ripper? Or just a simple case of Daylight Robbery?

2 Comments

  • February 6, 2013

    Rock Hyrax

    I quite like the – ahem – tunic top. And given that I’ve taken up knitting and am a bit haphazard when it comes to lace, I reckon I could make one for myself at a fraction of the cost…

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  • February 28, 2013

    Claudia

    I can at leat tell you *why* this mesh body exists: It relates to fashion as fracking does to mineral oil production. A desperate attempt to dig up some last remaining drops of the exorbitantly overexploited appeal of the female body.

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