Fashion Crime Friday | Body Parts, and other crimes of fashion

This week’s Fashion Crime Friday roundup has a bit of a “body parts” theme. We apologise in advance for any distressed caused by the following swimsuit:

Black Milk Dem Guts swimsuit

[Buy it here]

Suspect # 1 | Black Milk ‘Dem Guts’ Swimsuit 

This is fairly typical for Black Milk, who make some awesome Halloween costumes, with the only issue being that they’re not actually Halloween costumes. Have they gone  too far, though, with this fairly graphic representation of, well, dem guts? All we’ll say is that you’d certainly need some guts to wear it…

creepy handbag

[Buy it here]

Suspect # 2 | The HANDbag

It’s a HANDbag, geddit? We’re not sure it’s a crime of fashion, exactly, but it’s kinda creepy, and it’s also kinda £1,610, so here it is. On the other hand (groan), though, it could come in really “handy”, no?

(Oh yeah, this week’s roundup also has a “bad jokes” theme. We apologise for that, too.)

knee-pad tights

[Buy them here]

Suspect # 3 | Knee-pad tights 

This style suspect isn’t a body part itself, but rather an item of clothing designed to draw attention to a particular body part: the knees. Knee-pad tights come up on our radar every so often, but we’ve never come any closer to understanding why they exist. Any time we see them, all we can do is wonder why the wearer is expecting to spend so much time on her knees that her tights have to be padded. Now there’s a mystery.

platform shoes

Suspect # 4 | These Shoes

OK, so these don’t actually have any connection to body parts at all. They ARE crimes of fashion, though: don’t you think?

 

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3 Comments

  • May 17, 2014

    Claire

    I actually think those shoes are kinda cool, in an art-y way. Wouldn’t ever wear them, though.

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  • May 26, 2014

    Claudia

    These shoes! I tried to adjust my monitor before I noticed the picture wasn’t warped, but the shoes are. The handbag looks like a prop from the ghost train, it makes me queasy. And the guts are just anatomically wrong!wrong!wrong! Missing and ectopic organs everywhere. I absolutely need one for my next health checkup, my poor GP, she doesn’t laugh enough.

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  • June 18, 2014

    EllieB

    See now,let this be a lesson. I forwarded this page link to my husband in a “OMG have you seen this swimsuit horror?”, sort-of-a-way, little thinking that he would actually want his wife spilling her guts poolside. But here I am, 3 weeks later with the damn suit hanging off the end of my bedpost in all its eviscerated glory. If I wear it, I might be kicked out of Rhyl Leisure Centre. If I don’t he’ll be upset. Guys, any suggestions?

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