When Maxi Dresses Go Wrong

Long black dress with high neck and sleeves

Dammit! Now why couldn’t we have discovered this dress BEFORE Halloween rather than after it?

To be completely honest, we’ve never really trusted maxi dresses. In the right hands, they can look fantastic. In the wrong ones, however, they can make the wearer look like an extra in a costume drama.

We don’t really need to tell you which type of hands this dress has been left in, do we?

(Clue: the WRONG hands. Oh yes.)

There’s nothing good about this look. The severe neckline combined with the long sleeves, harsh, head-to-toe black and scraped-back hair, all combine to make this poor model look like the evil governess in a gothic novel. If you don’t believe us, when you go to bed tonight, switch off the light, close your eyes, then imagine her standing at the foot of your bed, watching you. And if THAT doesn’t scare you, perhaps the price tag will: $1,540, anyone?

We’re curious, though? Where would you wear something like this? HOW would you wear it? Normally we’d suggest adding some bright accessories to lighten things up, but this one has us beat: we can’t really imagine how you could wear it and NOT look like you were going to a funeral in 1856. (Or, you know, some other time: back off, History Police!)

Any suggestions?

(Click here for the product page.)

16 Comments

  • November 16, 2011

    Kathryn

    Ahhh! This belongs on the prairie!

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  • November 16, 2011

    Angela

    Oh, Sweet Jeebus! Please tell me you didn’t see the whole collection and pick this out as the worst… I could write a fashion novel on what not to do with her leather/knit combo “joggers”! This designer should go to fashion PRISON, for life!

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  • November 16, 2011

    Lili @ Relatable Style

    Wow. Is it a harness? A cage? A straitjacket? Pilgrim Father fashion? An Amish’s idea of sexy lingerie? I have no idea, and I’m not even sure if that’s a bad thing!

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  • November 16, 2011

    lizvocal

    This is either in anticipation of a Mormon president or the coming of Margaret Atwood’s A Handmaids Tale. Either way, I am hiding under the bed until it goes away.

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  • November 16, 2011

    Zo

    I’ve seen this somewhere… No, really! But all the episodes, seasons and spin-offs of StarTrek, Stargate, Farscape, etc are a bit jumbled up in my head so I can’t pinpoint it. I wouldn’t find it strange even if it was from an older anime series like GoLion! or such, but I get a strong Farscape vibe from it. Trust me, I’m so not joking! Note: me sad – I’m failing as a geek right now 🙁

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    • November 17, 2011

      lizvocal

      Zo, don’t fret. What we know for sure is that the fashion world steals from science fiction all the time. 🙂

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  • November 16, 2011

    Helen

    This was JUST what i wanted for my puritan Hester Prynne costume this halloween!

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  • November 16, 2011

    Amee

    I’ll be the odd one out-I love it. But I love Edwardian style clothing, so there it is. I couldn’t wear it, mind you-I’m far to short for something like this. But I like it on her.

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  • November 16, 2011

    Sarah

    The polygamists on HBO’s Big Love immediately come to mind…

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  • November 17, 2011

    Viper

    That’s…pretty fabulous, actually. I wish it were shorter and had a different neckline, , but I love the bodice.

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  • November 17, 2011

    Cookie

    Oh, this has potential! An aviator’s helmet, a gun holster for a tesla gun, lots of curls instead of this harsh hair-do… oh wait, this isn’t a steampunk costume?
    Would work as one though!.

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  • November 17, 2011

    Arielle

    I was thinking it looked like something that could be worn in the Star Wars universe, but I could definitely see it as an outfit in any number of sci-fi/fantasy shows.

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  • November 17, 2011

    M

    I’m not going to lie, I kind of like it too. But, like Amee, I am a fan of Edwardian style clothing too. But, if it were a little less amish country and a little more Edwardian I’d like it more. And if it were in anything other than brown. Big brown dresses.. *shudder*

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  • November 19, 2011

    Emily Jayne

    I would like to accessorise this with a pretty floral bonnet.

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  • November 19, 2011

    Lara

    Im not a big fan of maxi dresses at all, but this one is defenetely one of the worst ive ever seen!!! looks like a nun

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  • November 19, 2011

    EricB

    This is LARP couture, isn’t it?

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