This really shouldn’t have to be said, but apparently it does, so allow us to be the ones to say it: pets are not fashion accessories. They’re just not. They do not need to be dressed in human clothes, have ribbons tied in their hair, or HAVE THEIR FUR DYED PINK.
This is apparently the latest thing, though. The dogs shown above have all been “fur-jazzled” by a company called Cute Cuts Grooming of Essex, England, who say it’s the canine equivalent of vajazzling. Because the world was just crying out for a canine equivalent of vajazzling, obviously: how we have lived without it so long, we will never know.
We should stress that no animals are harmed during the process of fur-jazzling, which can include dying the fur, attaching “fairy wings”, or adding a bit of “bling” to the animal’s nether regions:
It doesn’t hurt. The dog in question probably doesn’t even know its fur is blue, or pink, or that it has some cutesy cherries or lovehearts on its ass. But it seems to us that this kind of thing is symptomatic of the practice of treating animals as fashion accessories, and we just can’t get on board with that. It’s a dog, not a handbag. It doesn’t need to be pink. Dogs are cute enough, aren’t they? Why do they need to be dressed as fairies?
This just makes us sad. Couldn’t the owners of these animals just buy a doll or something?
While we’re on the subject of dolls:
We’re not keen on this kind of thing either. Sure, we can see doing it once or twice as a joke, and then taking the dress off the dog a couple of minutes later. But for any longer than a few minutes? That’s got to be annoying to the dog. You can argue all you want that they love it, but we’ve yet to meet an animal who’d be happy to drag around a ball gown on its back all day. Maybe we’re not mixing in the right canine circles? For all we know, these dogs could very well be discussing how to work the colourblocking trend, and whether it’s OK to remix. The one on the end is totally thinking, “Bitch* looks fat in that,” isn’t she?
(*Dogs are allowed to say that word. It’s not an insult to them, you see.)
What do you think, Fashion Jurors? Do you like seeing pets treated as fashion accessories, and subjected to the latest trends in hair colour and accessorizing? Do you take the view that it doesn’t hurt them, so what’s the harm? Or do you prefer the natural look on animals, and feel that fashion should be kept for us humans, who can at least exercise our free will over it? (Hell, maybe the dog in the dress HATES green, for all we know?)