Bad Bikinis: the crochet monokini

Crochet_bikini Now, we have nothing against crochet, when it’s done right, but by that we mean "when it’s not on swimwear". We’ve yet to meet a crocheted bikini or one piece we liked, and this one is no exception. In fact, it looks to us suspiciously like the model went to sleep in the sun, and while she was out, a large and scary spider spun a web all the way from bra to bikini line. Which just isn’t a great look, you know?

Also: we know we say this a lot about strangely shaped swimwear, but it clearly bears repeating, as the designers obviously haven’t got the message yet: TAN LINES. They will be awesome.

Thanks to Crystal for reporting this Crime of Fashion, which she found on eBay – of course!

12 Comments

  • August 25, 2008

    Natasha

    This is sooo Christina Aguilera a few years ago! It looked horrible back then and – let me check – yup, it still does!

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  • August 25, 2008

    Amanda

    I believe I’ve seen the white version on Mischa Barton. Which pretty much sums up my feelings on it.

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  • August 25, 2008

    Froggie

    But…But.. I like it ;_;
    I think it looks really flattering, if worn on the right figure, and as for the spider-web comment.. I love spiders.
    Of course, I wouldn’t be wearing this to the beach for those LOVELY tanlines. I’d be wearing it under the shade sail in my backyard pool ^^

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  • August 25, 2008

    Style[ology]

    While I don’t like this particular crocheted piece, I’ve found MANY crocheted bikinis and monokinis I love. I really like this one: http://www.musoticawholesale.com/cicronepi.html and this one: http://www.musoticawholesale.com/noname.html

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  • August 25, 2008

    Han

    I thought you were going to finish this sentence “In fact, it looks to us suspiciously like the model went to sleep in the sun, and while she was out” with “a militantly-prudent little old lady snuck up on her and crocheted the top and bottom of her suit together in an absurd attempt to preserve her modesty”.

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  • August 26, 2008

    anna

    Ashley Paige does some very pretty crocheted and knitted bikinis.

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  • September 10, 2009

    Becca L

    her belly button looks hairy…… O.o

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  • March 17, 2010

    Sam

    I happen to LOVE the crochet monokini Debi Nova wears at the end of her Drummerboy music video. I want it.

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  • April 21, 2010

    Jenny

    I like this monokini. Sorry fashion police – I think you have it wrong this time. This is actually really nice.

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    • April 21, 2010

      The Fashion Police

      I don’t think an opinion can be “wrong”, really. Everyone’s taste is different, that’s all: I don’t go around telling everyone who disagrees with me that they’re “wrong”, I just accept that we don’t all have the same taste 🙂

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  • August 17, 2010

    H Fritz

    Hey Gurls! its no a CRIME OF FASHION, in fact, it looks wonderful.
    But if you want to tan u shoul use a microbikini 🙂 This one i just a piece of art that some girls CANT use.

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  • October 10, 2010

    Taralyn

    This makes her look more voluptuous. I think it’s sexy.

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