Caroline

Mirian Ocariz casual trousers

Miriam Ocariz trousers: the ultimate solution to knobbly knees

Are you ashamed of your knees? Self-conscious of their knobbly nature, or insecure about how saggy they are? Well, worry no more, because Miriam Ocariz has got your back… Yes, your knees are finally getting the attention they deserve. After years of push-up bras, tummy-tuck pants, and an array of shapewear to solve every body image issue from thigh to elbow, this vital joint is getting the attention it deserves at long last. These clever trousers will not only disguise the ugliest of knock-knees, but create the illusion that all their sagginess is, in fact caused by the cut of the trousers. So ingenius are they, that you needn’t even have ugly knees to begin with – even the most…

Topshop chiffon drape side skirt

Topshop’s chiffon drape side skirt: not one for the clumsy!

Well to begin with, it’s white. Which means that even if our officers did our best to avoid red wine all evening whilst wearing this skirt, red wine would find us. Or grease. Or grime. Or all of the above… But more to the point, those draped sides – we just know they’re going to get caught in every single door we encounter. Particularly, we can’t help but feel, car doors, which brings us right back to the grime-factor – because those white drapes are going to be far from white by the time they’ve been dragged 15 blocks behind a taxi cab! Nope, definitely not one for the klutzes amongst us… But perhaps you could pull it off? Chiffon…

dsquared2 boots

Style on Trial: Dsquared2 high-heeled boots

Yikes. We’re not actually sure where to start with these babies! Perhaps with the two-tone foot featuring over-sized stitch detailing. Or the verging-on-garish colour combination. We feel justified at least in saying that there is far too much going on… Which makes us wonder what, exactly, we could wear these with. It would be far too easy to go overboard with anything but the simplest of dresses… But pair them with a simple denim number, for example, and one could easily end up looking likely on the way to a Wild West theme party! So what do you think – could you put together an ensemble to pull these off? Would you get enough wear out of them to justify…

Topshop world gold rope cork wedges

Style on Trial: Topshop World Gold Rope Cork Wedges

Hmmm. We’re not sure where we stand on these shoes. On the one hand, rope and cork are not the most elegant of materials from which to make shoes. Neither can we imagine rope is the most comfortable to wear. But then, recycling is where it’s at just now – if we want to save the planet we’ve got to learn to work with the raw materials available… But joking aside, we think theses babies are just a teeny bit, well, ugly. But perhaps you disagree? World Gold Rope Cork Wedges, £66 from Topshop

Miss Selfridge x body chocolate satchel

Handbag of the week: Miss Selfridge chocolate leather x body bag

Big enough for all your bits, but hands-free and easy-wear – we love a good summer satchel at The Fashion Police. And this bag is the perfect partner to this summer’s floral hippy vibe – sling it over your maxi dress and you’re good to go! Chocolate leather x body bag, £45 from Miss Selfridge.

Get the look: Polka dot pencil dresses

Molina Spot Dress, £145 from Coast; Viyella Petite Spot Print Crepe Dress, £130 from John Lewis; Oscar De La Renta Embellished cotton-blend and satin-jacquard dress, £2,750, from Net-a-Porter; Polka Dot dress from TK Maxx; Alexon cream spot linen dress, £99 from Debenhams. Polka dots somehow straddle the usually gaping chasm between fun and sophistication, adding interest to a simple shift and making the plainest of jersey dresses far more occasion-appropriate. The beauty of the polka dot is in its versatility – the high street has dresses of every shape and style, suitable for the office, for a dinner date or even for a wedding reception. Go for full dotty overland like Oscar De La Renta by pairing a spotty dress…

Minnie Mouse: coming to a high street near you

Missing your wolf ears now spring has rolled around? Wishing you could still wear your animal ear beanie this summer? If dressing up like an animal – or an escapee from the loony farm extra from Disneyland – is your thang, don’t worry. Topshop have the answer. Yup, for £18 you too can dress up as Minnie Mouse. Because dressing as a human is so boring… Black lace ears, £18 from Topshop.

Straw hats high street round up

Best of the high street: summer straw hats

Clockwise from top left: Lace edge straw floppy hat, Urban Outfitters; Straw bow cloche hat, £22, Topshop; Straw Hat, €9.95, H&M; Tan band wheat floppy hat, £22, Topshop; Contrast trim wide brim hat, £69, Jigsaw; Reiss wide brim straw hat, £45, ASOS; Ditsy corsage trilby, £20, Accessorize; Natural trilby with corsage, £18, Dorothy Perkins. Here at the Fashion Police we’re not averse to a good hat. Being fans of ladylike fashion, we’re in favour of the trend for year-round headwear – as long as it’s not of the woodland animal persuasion – and it’s impossible to argue with anything that offers serious protection from the dangers of the high summer sun. The beauty of this summer’s milinery is that the…

Vivienne Westwood leather bag

Handbag of the Week: Vivienne Westwood tartan leather bag

There’s nothing like a striking bag to add colour to an outfit, and this bag certainly adds a lot of colour! But the pretty pastel-bright tartan is so eye-catching, and includes current favourite, coral, making the bag more practical that you’d think on first sight. We think it’s adorable – if you do too, you can buy it from Yoox.com for £168.

The long and short (and shapeless) of it: Mullet shirts

Yup, Topshop have done it again: designed a true monstrosity then unleashed it upon the young and the reckless. Neither cropped tops nor baggy shirts are the most flattering of easy-wear pieces, but to put them together to create a mullet monstrosity – well, could you imagine anything scarier? Topshop could… These are not just mullet shirts – oh no. These are open back mullet shirts! Bonsai print open back shirt, £38, and Teal print graduated hem open back shirt, £55, both by Topshop

Get the Look: D&G SS11 floral gypsy tops

Floral printed blouse, £21.99 £7.00 from New Look; Printed crop blouse, £35.00 from Miss Selfridge; South Floral print gypsy top, £14.00 from very.co.uk; Grey rose print gypsy crop blouse, £22.00 from Topshop; Grace Flower And Polka Dot Print Gypsy Style Cotton Crop Top from boohoo.com; Adrianna Chiffon Floral Flute Sleeve Gypsy Cropped Top £16.00 from boohoo.com. Dolce & Gabbana have really hit a high this summer with their romantic floral boho style, and the look is gloriously easy to recreate with just a few simple pieces. The key piece is almost certainly the gypsy top. Wear it with a floral floating maxi skirt or light denim flares for full on boho-chic, or with a plain summer skirt to nod to…

Junko Shimada shorts

Crochet shorts – for full frontal flashing

The Fashion Police feel that now might just be the time to lay down the law where crochet is concerned. Crochet has earned its place in the fashion hall of fame. It is integral to the 70s-inspired trends that are taking off this summer. This does not give it the right to set up shop as the alterna-sheer, flashing crotch, nipple or any other inappropriate body part under the pretence of high fashion. And call us old fashioned, but for £109 we expect at least a shred of dignity to remain in tact! Junko Shimada crochet shorts, £109 from Yoox.

Extreme sheer: YSL stretch-chiffon halterneck bodysuit

We’re a-hoping and a-praying that this bodysuit will only ever be used for purpose: as an underpinning for a backless halterneck dress. But that little shred of doubt loiters in the back of our minds, knowing, as we do, that the Lady Gagas of this world have so little respect for fit-for-purpose fashion… Yves Saint Laurent certainly know how to relieve a fashionista of her hard-earned cash: this beauty will provide very little support a no coverage to speak of for the bargain price of £520. You’d have to wear your backless halterneck an awful lot this summer to justify that cost per spend! But yours from Net-a-Porter.

Abercrombie & Fitch’s push-up bikini for kids causes controversy

Last year it was Primark. This year it’s Abercrombie & Fitch’s turn in the firing line over their push-up padded bikini tops for girls as young as 8 years old. But while Primark backed down and removed their controversial bikinis from sale, Abercrombie & Fitch have defended their range, only agreeing to remove the term “push up” from the title in favour of the less incendiary “striped triangle”, but leaving the padded bikinis on sale. Abercrombie & Fitch have a reputation for risque behaviour – whether provoked by their highly sexualised Back to School ad campaign in 2007 or their 2002 range of tweenage thongs bearing slogans including “wink wink” and “eye candy”, the company are no strangers to public…

Fashion Trends: the Midi skirt makes a comeback

Clockwise from top left: Chloe pleated silk-mousseline midi skirt, £1,455; ASOS midi pleated knitted skirt, £40, and ASOS pleated midi skirt, £35, asos.com; Marc by Marc Jacobs Mimi silk-crepe midi skirt, £475; Mid-length Accordian-Pleat skirt, £42, americanapparel.co.uk; Whistles coral Carrie pleated skirt, £95, Whistles.co.uk; Florence Midi skirt by Annie Greenabelle, £52, Topshop.com; Love Label pleat midi skirt, £32, very.co.uk; Apiece Apart Tea pleat skirt, $390, lagarconne.com For a couple of years now fashion has been all about the maxi dress. Floor-sweeping, dramatic, romantic – this is a great look for floating around on a hot summer’s day, but not so practical when it comes to the office. When the maxi’s alter-ego, the mini, is equally office-inapproprate we’re left in something…

Skinny Flares

Fashion Trends: skinny flares

Top row: ASOS Patch Pocket High Waisted flares, £35, asos.com; Super-stretch flared jeans, £9 and High waisted plait detail flared jeans, £39, both Jane Norman; Indigo skinny flare jeans, £26 and Lightwash 70s kickflare jeans, £50, both Dorothy Perkins. Bottom row: True Religion Carrie petite skinny knee wide leg flare jean, $189, piperlime.gap.com; 3.1 Phillip Lim flared suede skinny pants, £340; Mother Blue washed The Runway skinny flare jeans, £325, stylebop.com; Sonic Flare jeans, £215 £86, glassworks-studios.com; J Brand Lightweight skinny flares: Dark Denim, £110.49, intermixonline.com; Rich & Skinny bikini flare jean, $196, piperlime.gap.com Skinny jeans have been the denim essential for many of us for several years now. Easy to wear, great with flats, perfect for tucking into boots…

Style on Trial: Iris van Herpen for United Nude Crystallization

You may have spotted these beauties over on Shoeperwoman this week. They inspired such a varied reaction, from adoration to hatred, that we couldn’t resist bringing them over here and asking your opinion on the matter… So, what do you say? Wicker furniture for the feet, or basket weaving for the “sole”? *groan* Iris van Herpen X United Nude Crystallization ankle booties available here.

Save or Splurge? Erdem vs Topshop red lace 3/4 sleeve dresses

Two very pretty dresses with two very different price tags! Ok, so we’ll admit that the lace on the Erdem dress looks finer, softer, that little more delicate than on the Topshop. But to justify the price tag it would need to be bought for a somewhat special occasion. And the Fashion Police being the clumsy sort, we can almost guarantee that the lace would get caught on something or someone at some point in the evening, resulting in much wailing and teeth-gnashing in anguish… Yup, from our perspective it’s better to be on the safer side and go for the save. But what about you? Would you splash out on Erdem’s Margot lace dress, or hover under £50 with…

Fashion Trends: floral pencil skirts

Florals are the perennial spring fashion favourite, granted, but this year the Fashion Police have noticed a trend specifically for bright floral prints on pencil skirts. From Jil Sanders‘ fabulous brights, via Biba and Coast‘s roses to Fever Designs‘ surf-influenced prints, there’s a version of this look to suit every occasion. We particularly like the style when made glamourous through body-hugging satins, but what do you think? Will you be going girly this season, or are florals too frumpy for you?

Frankenshoes: Miu Miu’s lace-up cutout leather heels

Note how these are referred to simply as “heels”? That’s because they aren’t entirely sure which camp they belong to… They start out at the toe with a sensible but sexy, office brogue feel. We’re expecting them to blossom into a T-bar, or perhaps just a clean lace-up brogue. By the time we’ve hit the ankle straps we’re straying into dance-shoe territory – but we can let that one slide – it can make for quite a cute look. And then you reach the ankle cuffs. The lace-up ankle cuffs. In flourescent, neon yellow. Because we’re all walking around every day saying, “You know what’s really missing from my wardrobe? Neon yellow cutout leather heels, that’s what!” If they’re missing…