Ask The Fashion Police: Which single item of clothing would you ban?

From our Formspring:

If you could ban one item of clothing (just for style reasons) , what would that item be?

For us, it would be Crocs, without shadow of a doubt.

And we know, we know: they’re So! Comfy! Some people have foot problems and can’t wear heels! They’re really practical for digging in the garden/working in a hospital/going to the beach! Your three-year-old loves them, and he. is. adorable! We get all of that. But the question specifically asked about the item we’d ban for style reasons, and none of the many reasons people have for wearing Crocs (some of them perfectly legitimate, we might add) negate the fact that Crocs look like gnome shoes. And for that reason, if we actually had the power to ban one item we hate, Crocs would be that item.

There is nothing attractive about Crocs. There is nothing stylish about them. As far as we can see, they have absolutely no redeeming features, and as for the much-vaunted SO! COMFY!, and the people who repeatedly tell us not to knock ’em until we’ve tried ’em, let us just say this: we’ve tried ’em. And honestly? They weren’t even THAT “comfy”. We’ve worn shoes just as comfortable, which DIDN’T look like they belonged on a cartoon gnome, let’s put it that way. And the fact that your three-year-old looks totes adorable in his Crocs? Doesn’t sway us one bit. We’re not talking about what looks good on three-year-olds, here: they look cute in everything. We’re talking about what looks good on grown adults, and Crocs? Don’t.

Of course, if you absolutely have to wear Crocs because they’re the only shoes that fit, or some such reason, then you get a free pass, but if you’re asking us to ban an item we hate, we’re picking Crocs.*

What would you pick? Which single item of clothing would you ban if you could?

*Usual disclaimer for people who take these posts super-seriously: this is purely a personal opinion, everyone’s taste is different, The Fashion Police aren’t real, if you want to wear Crocs no one will stop you, the question is just for fun, blah blah blah.

75 Comments

  • August 3, 2011

    kita

    i would ban harem pants and all its cousins ….

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Daisy

    Leggings. They. Are. Not. Pants. They are not a reason to suddenly start wearing ultra short skirts. They do not cover your cellulite, in spite of what a lot of women seem to think. They are not elegant. If it’s Winter, wear tights. If it’s Summer, go bare legged. As far as I’m concerned, I hate leggings. Except for when I wear them under my jeans in the freezing cold. That’s it! Leggings are like thermal underwear to me.

    View Comment
    • August 3, 2011

      drea

      I agree, I don’t really like the look of leggings and you can just wear thick tights in winter. I only use mine as thermals too 😛

      View Comment
    • August 3, 2011

      Viper

      OH THANK GOD I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE. They look dumb as pants. They look dumb under things, unless they’re worn with a dress and boots, but if that’s the case, can’t you just wear tights? The only thing I can see them being a good choice for is working out or yoga, because they’re stretchy and won’t get caught in workout equipment because they’re so fitted.

      View Comment
      • August 4, 2011

        Rebecca

        I can’t wear tights because they always get caught on something and then they get a run in them.

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    • April 24, 2012

      MissShawndaB3

      I like leggings with certain things and in certain situations (ie. working out). They are never alright with waist length shirts. No. Just. No. Never. Not even when working out.

      My ban: (and Im about to get a lot of crap for this) Kitten heels.
      If you can’t do anything atleast 3″, please find a pretty pair of flats. They’re awkward and just look strange.
      Then again, I’m madly in love with my 5″ heels soooo

      View Comment
      • May 7, 2012

        Chelsea

        YES! I really don’t like kitten heels either, they are just ugly

        View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Ioana

    I would ban super low rise jeans.I really really don’t want to see someone elses butt while i walk on the street:|

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    • August 3, 2011

      Terry miaoulis

      I agree, ban anything that gives a builders butt! 🙂

      View Comment
    • August 3, 2011

      Tali

      Absolutely!!!

      View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Nell

    shresses and shants

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Roisin

    Drop crotch harem pants. They might be comfy too, but the crotch of your trousers should not be below your knees.

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Lucy

    Gahh I remember when I first saw a bunch of my friends wearing crocs and thought, “WTF is that??” Never bought a pair, thank god.

    That said, I totally disagree with other commenters with leggings AND low-rise pants. I love them and I think I look great, so whatevs.

    As far as what I would ban? Well, after some thinking there’s really nothing I’d want to ban because then I wouldn’t get to read a fantastic site like this and I wouldn’t look as stylistically superior in comparison. 🙂

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Tali

    I am personally totally over the straw , felt and any other type of summer hats. Totally. I don’t know why, but I’m so tired of them. Especially this typical blogger look with shorts, tee, jacket and a HAT!
    I wouldn’t ban then though.. I know people love them.
    But I had to share..

    View Comment
    • August 3, 2011

      The Fashion Police

      Ah, hats are a staple for me in the summer – my scalp would burn to a crisp in seconds without something over it, and any kind of sunscreen I’ve tried (even ones for hair) always just turn my head into a huge, greasy mess! I love summer, but it can a constant battle against the sun!

      View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    lu

    Crocks plastic smell like fruits? hehehe i agree

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Spengler

    BIRKENSTOCK! They are 44 times more hideous than Crocs and 10 times as smelly. Each time I see a beautiful girl wearing them I think “she just destroyed every appeal she could have”. A gorilla has more charme than a supermodel wearing Birkenstocks.

    View Comment
    • August 4, 2011

      Annasthesia

      Oh I so agree. I have yet to see a beautiful woman wearing a pair though, I usually associate those shoes with old ladies.

      View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Moni

    I agree on the low-rise jeans and would expand the ruling to include baggy jeans, too.
    I’ve never seen a man wear baggy jeans and look good. They make people look as if they’ve just crapped their pants and force them to waddle about with seemingly pressed-together knees lest the jeans fall off completely.
    That’s not fashion, that’s ridiculous! (I’d like to add that I’m not interested in anybody else’s underwear. At all. There’s a reason why it’s called a WAISTband, folks… 😉 )

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    philly

    Stelleto heels. They just seem dangerous and unhealthy to me.

    View Comment
    • August 13, 2011

      Inokohimza Moctomotel

      Really? I think they look sexy. I wouldn’t make my GF wear them, and they do cause back and foot problems. But they still look sexy.

      View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Ruth

    You can only ban stilettos if you can spell it correctly 😛 Im with you fashion police, ban crocs!

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    naiadknight

    The jumpsuit and all it’s kin, including, but not limited to the romper, the onesie, overalls, and the bodysuit. If I wore it when I was 6 months old, I’m sure as sin I don’t want to see it on an adult.

    View Comment
    • August 4, 2011

      Minka

      Could not agree with you more! 🙂

      View Comment
    • August 5, 2011

      Viper

      Oh god these are so awful!

      View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    valleycat1

    Flip flops.

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    ian

    anything ed hardy. without a shadow of a doubt. christian audiger is the worst thing to happen to fashion.

    View Comment
    • August 3, 2011

      KPress

      Thank you! I agree 120%

      View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    drea

    Flip Flop… I HATE flip flops with a passion, they look terrible on everyone and can’t be comfortable with a plastic thing rubbing between your toes and the slapping noise..eugh. I’ve seen them where I live and I live no where near the beach, even then there not practical beach wear as they kick up the sand and it gets on your foot anyway.
    … Okay, rant over, but yeah I agree with the crocs too.

    View Comment
    • August 5, 2011

      Viper

      I love flip flops because my feet get so nasty in the summer if I wear anything else that covers any more of them. It’s gross 🙁

      Plus they’re super comfortable! 😀

      View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Amy

    CROCS : they look awful!! comfy? maybe but there are many other shoes which are as comfy as nice (ballet flat, oxfords, derbies,sandals). I really don’t like crocs

    View Comment
    • November 27, 2011

      Len

      Sneakers and slippers with an arch are the only shoes I find truly comfortable. Flats and good boots are for fashion moments and snow or rain boots are for weather issues for me.

      View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Kate

    The traditional, typical crocs? Hate. I have a pair of the “Crocband Flats” though, that I wear out on our boat, and they’re not bad. They look like little preppy slip-ons but they’ve got the uppers that don’t become gross when they get a bit wet.

    Personally I’m all for banning anything with a dropped crotch. They’re just ridiculous.

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    karmarat

    I would have to ban one-sleeved tops. It’s not the 70s, get over it and wear a regular garment already!

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    Zoe

    Another vote for crocs. I have friends who wear them when they garden and I can get that, but I wouldn’t even use them for that. And not just because I don’t actually have a garden. While I’ve never tried them on they don’t look that comfortable. Wouldn’t your feet sweat? If you are so into comfort go for sneakers/trainers in the winter and flip flops in the summer.

    And I agree on the three year olds. My nephew is just shy of three and he recently dressed up in a dragon costume simply because he wanted to wear it. It was just about the most adorable thing ever. That doesn’t mean that I would around in a dragon costume.

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    spikesnsilk

    If not Crocs, then ill-fitting jeans of any sort.

    View Comment
  • August 3, 2011

    EricB

    Uggs?

    View Comment
    • August 4, 2011

      Cassi

      Totally agree! I find uggs far worse than crocs!

      View Comment
    • August 12, 2011

      Hannah J.

      AMEN. Thank GOD somebody else thinks so!!!!!!!!

      View Comment
    • August 13, 2011

      Inokohimza Moctomotel

      There is a reason they call them “Uggs” and its because the people who make them threw their arms up and said “Ugh! We can’t find any way to make them look better!”

      View Comment
      • November 27, 2011

        Len

        I hate them for their appearance and their so-called ‘comfort’. I would feel like the Little Mermaid if I wore them.

        View Comment
    • April 16, 2012

      Kim

      I secretly call them “Robot boots” and all my friends wear them, but not I, nor will I to my dying day though my husband loves them and my friends wear them over their skinny jeans.

      View Comment
    • April 23, 2012

      Janeth

      I couldn’t agree more!
      My friends say, cute uggs, but I say, uggly!!

      View Comment
  • August 4, 2011

    Marianne S.

    Any pants not properly fitted, including those so loose you could be hiding anything in there, and those so tight I can count your… well, you get the picture. There IS a place in this world for a skinny jean and a relaxed fit. But the absurd extremes of the spectrum? No.

    Full disclosure: I own one pair of fake-Crocs, strictly for gardening. They don’t even get to come in the house, and sometimes, the dogs chew them.

    View Comment
  • August 4, 2011

    romi

    Croks are horrible. Nevertheless, I think Crocs can be fun if it is obvious that your intention is to look fun… There are a lot of things you can wear that are absolutely horrible and not fun at all. For example:
    Denim vests, plastic (PVC or other) clothes, white boots, gloves with holes for your fingers, filler jackets (if you are not skiing)… Ufff
    (sorry for my limited english)

    View Comment
  • August 4, 2011

    Spooki

    Anything and everything with a drop crotch.

    View Comment
  • August 4, 2011

    cmap

    jellies.
    plastics are for bagging groceries.

    View Comment
  • August 4, 2011

    Hilary0

    I would expand the ban on Crocs to all plastic shoes.

    View Comment
    • August 4, 2011

      Rock Hyrax

      *gasp* You’ll get into serious trouble with Shoeperwoman for suggesting that – what about her favourite Vivienne Westwood Melissa shoes?

      View Comment
  • August 4, 2011

    clay

    Pantyhose (as opposed to tights) – especially any shade of “suntan” pantyhose.

    View Comment
    • February 9, 2012

      mf

      why?? i need them for ballet…but just for that! the other ways to wear them are…ugh

      View Comment
  • August 4, 2011

    Maca

    Harem pants, specially the jumpsuit variety, ugh!

    View Comment
  • August 4, 2011

    Rock Hyrax

    I’ve been torn between Uggs and Crocs on what I’d like to ban. But given that my right eye actually began to hurt when I saw the picture at the top of this page, I think I’ll have settle with Crocs, particularly if they’re a disgusting colour. (Dully coloured ones for the garden would be exempt.)

    However, I think making your child (particularly if it’s male) wear Uggs should be classified as emotional abuse.

    View Comment
  • August 4, 2011

    Aydika Jack James

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for saying it. Crocs for gardening with a good laugh? Maybe. For the truly humorous. But how they escaped the garden, I will never understand. Anyone know a good style exterminator? (Sterminator?)

    View Comment
  • August 5, 2011

    Ginger O'Rama

    Another vote for banning Crocs. There. Is. No. Excuse.
    1. There are about a gazillion other shoes that are at least as well-designed for comfort and also for aesthetics, uniting function and form. Camper, Cydwoq, etc.
    2. Want waterproof shoes? Get wellies. Stylish examples: Ilse Jacobsen, even Hunter.
    3. What happens in the garden stays in the garden. It certainly doesn’t belong in civilized company. Or anywhere in public.

    View Comment
  • August 5, 2011

    Anna

    I have foot problems and can’t wear heels, but there are plenty of other practical and comfortable shoes that don’t look as hideous as Crocs. Even if I sadly can’t wear cute shoes, that doesn’t mean I have to wear completely hideous ones.

    As for what I would ban, I’d have to say anything with a drop crotch.

    View Comment
  • August 6, 2011

    Mae

    Not crocs, both my parents work in a hospital and I know that apparently they work fine for that. I wouldn’t ban leggings, because they can look fine below a shirt that’s too long for jeans but not long enough to be a dress or wear tights under. So I think drop crotches are the worst. Stilettos also are pretty bad, and they are bad for you too.

    View Comment
    • August 8, 2011

      The Fashion Police

      Hospitals were specifically mentioned in the post: the question was about which items you’d ban purely for style reasons.

      View Comment
  • August 6, 2011

    texass

    Flesh-colored heels…. I’m so over them! They are for ppl that are too lazy to think about what shoe to use with an outfit because beige goes with *almost* everything.

    View Comment
    • August 12, 2011

      Hannah J.

      Ugh, those drive me crazy as well. And I HATE the color beige–there is such a thing as *too neutral*.

      View Comment
      • April 16, 2012

        Kim

        The 90’s ruined beige…it used to be a nice occasional neutral, then came Jennifer Aniston with her prettiness and her beige beige beige clothes…and now the world has exploded beige I can’t look at the colour without getting a repulsed reaction.

        View Comment
  • August 7, 2011

    Jane

    OK, yes, ban Crocs. But also ban those colourless, formless kinds of lightweight pants that simply stop without notice and leave an unflattering width of fabric flapping about the victim’s calf. They seem to be especially beloved by women of a certain age, and I have no idea why.

    View Comment
  • August 7, 2011

    Anna

    There are many things I would like to ban fashion-wise. Along with Crocs, Dansko clogs should be banned forever. I don’t think you should pay $105 for essentially wooden shoes in leather form. Along with that, definitely harem pants, jeans that barely go up past the crotch, tops that are long enough to be dresses or look like ponchos, and colossally expensive pieces that look like garbage.

    View Comment
  • August 9, 2011

    jeans

    Over-the-knee boots. I’m sorry, ladies, but you just make me think of “Pretty Woman!” (and not in a good way)

    View Comment
  • August 9, 2011

    Kebbaby

    You know that part in Mary Poppins, where they go into the chalked up paving stones and Dick van Dyke’s character dances with the penguins?
    Well that is what Harem pants and anything with a dropped crotch make me think of. What I can’t figure out is why anyone would want to make it look like their legs are SHORTER, I always thought that long legs were supposed to be an attractive trait.
    But then again, maybe they are comfy.

    View Comment
  • August 12, 2011

    Hannah J.

    Hmmmm, okay. Time for my (most likely) unpopular opinion.
    I. Hate. Sweatpants. I don’t own a pair, and I don’t plan to–they’re hideous. If you need comfy lounge pants, use PJ bottoms! I also detest–DETEST–Uggs. The girls’ fashion fad at my school a few years ago was as follows: plain white or sports team t-shirt + sweatpants + Uggs. I wanted to shoot myself.
    However, the other thing I’d ban that most others agree with is harem/drop-crotch/hammer/plain old ill-fitting pants. I just…I don’t understand their existence.

    View Comment
    • August 12, 2011

      The Fashion Police

      Oh, I don’t think that will be unpopular at all: most people here hate sweats and Uggs too: welcome home!

      View Comment
  • August 12, 2011

    Hannah J.

    Oooh, I’d also have to ban ANYTHING that combines black and brown. That is the biggest fashion faux pas ever to grace the face of this earth. Those colors should NEVER be paired together; I wouldn’t even accept tan and black, or gray and brown. NO.

    View Comment
  • August 26, 2011

    ioana

    the SCRUNCHIE! how can you forget that?! there are a lot of bad things coming from the 90s but the scrunchie is the absolute worst!

    View Comment
  • August 27, 2011

    ioana

    no, but you have to admit those years gave us so many fashion no-no’s

    View Comment
  • November 29, 2011

    Lucy

    If you want me to be honest with you, I’ll say it.
    I think converse should be banned.
    They are ok with some jeans or for outdoor pursuits, but once people start wearing them with formal dresses, it looks wrong. It’s like wearing rainbow coloured boots with a fur trim to a funeral.
    You just can’t.
    OK, you can shoot me now.

    View Comment
  • November 5, 2012

    Alison

    Ditto anything with a droped crotch.
    I’d also like to add, body shirts and hipsters. I’ve yet to see a body, male or female, that looks good in these. Gets off soap box now. 🙂

    View Comment
  • December 20, 2012

    Annie

    Palazzo pants? I…I just can’t.

    View Comment
  • February 27, 2013

    Ghalia

    I know this article isn’t so recent anymore, but I had to refer back to it so I could show you this:

    http://static2.beanscdn.co.uk/modules/ems-v2/article/images/love-crocs-bathroom-wisdom.jpg.jpg

    It made me chuckle. & then I thought of you & I chuckled some more 😀

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