Wear or Die: American Apparel edition

GOLD TIGHT HOT PANTS

Say you’re at the gym. You reach for your kit bag, but.. oh no! What’s this? Those pesky Fashion Police have swapped it for a bag of their own. A bag containing only American Apparel’s Lamé Suspender Swimsuit,  a pair of their metallic hot shorts, and a note. With trembling fingers, you open the note and read one single line:

"Wear one of these items – or die! Mwaa ha ha!"

The choice is yours: you can either take a dip in the swimsuit, or work out in the hotpants (which you may wear with a top of your choice – as long as it doesn’t cover the pants, natch.).  Which will it be?

15 Comments

  • January 9, 2008

    Orla

    The Hotpants. I can’t understand why you’d ever want me to have a cameltoe…. also, the one piece looks to require a very tidy bikini line, overshare!

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  • January 9, 2008

    Polly Fontayne

    Oh my god, that is worse than the Lee Ryan or Dean Gaffney conundrum!
    I think I would also choose the shorts. With a hoody and with leggings underneath. Amber you are going to have to toughen up on the rules for this to work!!!!

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  • January 9, 2008

    Hannah

    Okay, I fear swimsuits enough without having an encounter with these vile things… god, I’d look like a leftover pork chop in these shorts. No thanks to camel-toe either. I prefer to have men walking towards me, not running in the opposite direction. If I had to choose, it’d be the shorts – but they’d have to be silver. Gold is too chav.

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  • January 9, 2008

    patsystonewannabe

    This one’s a no brainer. I’d pick the “or die” option, as I’d rather be dead than wear either of those items…

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  • January 9, 2008

    AngieAreI

    I’m definitely going with the hot pants !
    ^^
    That swimsuit is awful.

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  • January 9, 2008

    The Fashion Police

    See, my thinking on this one was that the swimsuit would spend most of its time under water, leaving you only to run the guantlet of embarasment from the changing room to the pool, while the shorts would be on display all the time. The swimsuit does make me want to throw up every time I look at it, though, so maybe even the promise of hiding it under water wouldn’t be enough…

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  • January 9, 2008

    Hannah

    Aaaah but!!! The website says that “exposure to salt water and chlorine not recommended” so you really couldn’t hide it out in the water… it’s really for posing on the beach. Urgh.

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  • January 9, 2008

    Gemma

    Definitely the shorts. Thats swimsuit just makes me think of Borat…not a good look!

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  • January 9, 2008

    The Fashion Police

    Gemma – I KNEW it reminded me of someone! Borat! Hee!
    Hannah – I can’t believe I missed the fact that it can’t be worn near chlorine or salt water. And I’m going to have to go and lie down now while I come to terms with the fact that AA are actually expecting people to wear this for no practical purpose…

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  • January 10, 2008

    Haley

    The hot pants are actually bikini bottoms, I have them, but I don’t wear them because they’re too small. Although for the record, as a teenager, I do not fear lamé swimsuits.

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  • January 17, 2008

    pyro

    the shorts aren’t actually that bad… just kinda like volleyball shorts… i think i’d go with the hotpants.

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  • November 10, 2008

    lissy

    i actually bought the hotpants, but the high waisted version. if anyone else is thinking of doing this, they are see-through!
    though i dont know why anyone else would buy them. i’m embarrassed to say that i did.

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  • November 10, 2008

    The Fashion Police

    Aww, lissy, don’t be embarrassed! Everyone has different taste and we just do this for fun – would be pretty boring if everyone dressed the same all the time! Eek at the see-through-ness, though – that could be very embarrassing!

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  • November 4, 2009

    Leh

    Booty shorts… heck, it’d be fun laughing at myself.

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  • March 8, 2010

    Flux

    I’d start hitting myself over the head with the weights right away- die!

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