Adult Onesie

harem pants

The Fashion Police’s Ultimate List of Fashion Crimes

The Fashion Police have arrested hundreds of items of clothing in the years we’ve been policing the world of fashion. Our cells are pretty crowded. Not all crimes of fashion are created equal, though. Some items are guaranteed life imprisonment in The Fashion Police jail, just by virtue of their very existence. These are the clothes that are just never going to win us over, no matter how hard anyone tries to argue for their innocence. They are the unforgivable fashion sins. They’re the Fashion Police’s Ultimate Fashion Crimes. And here they are… 1. Harem Pants [All items available at Yoox.com] If you’ve been reading this site for any length of time at all, you won’t be even remotely surprised…

The Hulk adult onesie

Fashion Police on Patrol: More adult onesies arrested

Our officers on the beat captured this Crime of Fashion at Primark this week. We know nightwear is usually outwith our jurisdiction, but this is basically contraception in clothing form, and the growing trend for pyjamas in public makes us worry that we’ll soon start seeing these on the street. Meanwhile, if these had been in the children’s department, we’d probably have thought they were cute: But we found them in menswear. That’s … not cute. Look at the FEET, people. Why would grown men want to do this to themselves? (We know, we know: they’re SO! COMFY! And WARM! But so are lots of clothes. Breaking news: you don’t HAVE to dress like a giant penguin in order to…

Bunny animal all-in-one

Adult Onesies: What’s Up Doc?

We know we’re fighting the good fight against adult onesies all on our lonesome here, and that as soon as this post goes live, we’ll start getting comments telling us it’s “NONE OF OUR BISNISS!” what people choose to wear at home, and that they’re “SO COMFY!”*, but we will continue to fight it. Because if there’s anything funnier than the idea of grown adults solemnly going about their business while dressed as Bugs Bunny, we’ve yet to see it. Actually, on second thoughts, maybe we won’t fight the growing wave of adult onesies. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, after all, don’t we? This one is from Topshop: click here to buy it. *The same argument is regularly made in…

Royal Ascot dress code

Royal Ascot bans fascinators and short skirts

In a bid to prevent racegoers dressing like they’re going to a nightclub – or to the circus, depending on your point of view – Royal Ascot organisers have decided to tighten up on the ol’ dresscode. As of this year, female racegoers will have to wear: 1. Hats, as opposed to fascinators. (in the less formal grandstand, hats OR fascinators will be obligatory: they were previously optional-but-recommended.) 2. “Modest” skirts or dresses – i.e. hemlines must be just above the knee or longer. 3. Tops with straps: no strapless tops or dresses allowed. Or else. Men, meanwhile, will be expected to wear waistcoats and ties inside the enclosure (no cravats, you peasants!), and suits and ties in the grandstand….

Stars and stripes adult onesie

Happy Thanksgiving from The Fashion Police

Happy Thanksgiving to our American readers, who are probably all too busy enjoying/tolerating the holiday to even read this! For those of you still here, we just wanted to let you know that we’re also taking a couple of days off: we leave you with this adult onesie from Topshop, which will be perfect for sleeping off the effects of a turkey dinner, and some links to our favourite older posts. Enjoy, and we’ll be back as usual on Monday! Skin Colour is Not a Fashion Statement Why it’s just as OK to be pale as it is to be any other colour. Five Fashion Phrases We Hate Feel free to add your own… The Fashion Victim Drinking Game Grab…

Brown leopard print adult onesie

Speaking of adult onesies….

Following on from our roundup of adult onesies yesterday, we discovered this at River Island: We think they’re selling it as sleepwear, but the first rule of Fashion Policing is “never assume” (the second rule is “arrest anything that has a drop-crotch”), and given the current state of fashion, we’re honestly not convinced there aren’t people who would wear this in public. Stranger things have happened, after all….

Adult Onesie Halloween Costumes

Adult Onesies: the ultimate roundup

If there’s one thing we’ve learned in the long year’s we’ve been Fashion Policing, it’s this: people love adult onesies. LOVE them. Seriously, you guys just can’t get enough of giant babygrows. We’re not saying you’re wearing them out of doors – not YET, anyway – but any post we write on the subject of adult onesies will normally elicit a bunch of comments which include frequent use of the phrase “But they’re so comfy!” As we believe that what people choose to wear in the comfort of their own home is no business of ours anyway, we will refrain from pointing out that this is exactly how people try to defend Crocs, too, and simply provide you with our…

Yellow sack dress with floral print

Modelling is Hard: Sack Dress Edition

We know what you’ll say to this. “But, Fashion Police!” you’ll say. “You could belt it! And wear it with different shoes! Maybe a leather jacket or something to toughen it up. It could all be OK!” But the fact is, they DIDN’T belt it. Or put the model in different shoes. Or “toughen it up”. And it’s NOT OK. It’s very much NOT OK. And all of the objections you can think of will simply boil down to “if it looked completely different, in every possible way, THEN it might work”. Meanwhile, this poor model is suffering, and no one – not even The Fashion Police – can help here. Her torment didn’t end with the dress, either:

A.S.A bans “Nothing Tastes as Good as Skinny Feels” shirts for kids

We can all agree that this is wrong, can’t we? It’s Kate Moss’s famous “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” quote, printed on a t-shirt. A t-shirt for children.  Because THAT’S a really healthy message for kids, isn’t it? If you think it’s bad enough to be emblazoning this particular message on a shirt for little children, though, how about the onesie version? And no, we’re not referring to the ubiquitous adult onesie, here, but the ones for babies: Luckily, the Advertising Standards Agency agreed that this kind of message isn’t suitable for childrens’ clothing and have banned adverts for it from appearing on custom shirt site Zazzle. “Because we considered the ad could condone or encourage an unsafe practice or result…

Toddler shoes collage

Dressing Like A Toddler: Child-like shoes now available

We have talked before about the fondness designers have for creating children’s garments in adult sizes: the proliferation of adult onesies, dungarees and pants with room for a diaper only serves to reinforce our opinion on this matter.  But now the footwear designers are getting in on the act too, creating shoes to complete your dressing like a toddler ensemble.  Check out the examples above.  On the left is a pair of red patent T bars by Shelleys (which we are fairly sure we had when we were 5).  On the right is a pair of the type of summer shoes you would be forced to wear for school in the summer as a child.  Not only are they juvenile,…

ONEPIECE: New evidence of the Dress Like a Toddler Trend

Look at these people, readers. They’re wearing a ONEPIECE. It’s the hot new trend sweeping the nation. Yes, we checked our calendars too, to make sure it wasn’t April the 1st already… We don’t normally reproduce press releases here, but we’re going to make an exception for this one. This is what the makers of Onepiece have to say about it (our bold, for emphasis): : Starting in 2007, three hung-over Norwegians (Thomas Adams, Henrik Nøstrud and Knut Gresvig) had the idea to sew together a hooded sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants [OMGSTUCKTOGETHERCLOTHES! -FP], connecting the two with a giant zipper to create the ORIGINAL OnePiece. An instant success amongst Norwegians, OnePiece was introduced to the British market to a…

Forever Lazy: For those who wish to be forever fashion criminals

As you all know, The Fashion Police try to avoid getting involved in matters relating to what people wear in the privacy of their own homes. It’s out of our jurisdiction. This advert, however, appears to suggest that it’s entirely appropriate to wear an adult onesie to “the ball game” and in other public places. This is why civilisation is doomed. Watch and learn, people. (Also, look out for the big selling point: you don’t have to remove it to use the bathroom! Er, yeah.)

paul & joe sister tea linen-jersey jumpsuit

Hit the town in your thermals: Paul & Joe Sister tea linen-jersey jumpsuit

So, it hasn’t been the coldest of starts to 2011. What’s a girl to do with all those thermal onesies she invested in, but was forced to leave languishing in the wardrobe once the cold snap was over? Paul & Joe Sister have the answer… Yup, throw a leather jacket over it, add a pair of platforms and voila! One office-to-club ready look with minimal effort. And you can just strip off the jacket and heels and hop straight into bed at the end of the night – bonus! Paul & Joe Sister tea linen-jersey jumpsuit: £135 from Net-a-Porter

Pendleton meets Opening Ceremony notched collar onesie jumpsuit

We were thinking it was high time to change the uniform for our inmates in Fashion Police Jail, and we think we could have found the perfect item.  What better punishment than making the fashion criminals look at one another in this garish print all day, every day?  Mind you, that might be just too much for our prison guards to bear.  Perhaps we should just arrest this for being an adult onesie and lock it away too? Bail is set at £544 and you can pay for its release at ASOS.

Alexander Wang ribbed hooded onesie

Dress Like a Toddler: Alexander Wang ribbed hooded onesie

As you can probably tell from the title of this post, this is a ribbed hooded onesie from Alexander Wang.  And we’re going to stop Mr Wang right there because anything called a onesie?  Has no place on a fashion retail site for adults.  Yes it looks like it could be nightwear, but why then has it been styled with high heels?  Put the hood up and it looks even worse:

Wanted for multiple offences: Bianca Animal Jumpsuit from Boohoo

Animal print? Check. Harem pants? Check. Onesie? Check. Ill-fitting across bust? Apparently check! There is little right about this jumpsuit. But a closer look reveals that the bottom part of this little number doesn’t fall strictly within the harem pant genre. The shape is less “slouchy boho chic” and more “excess fabric creates tent-effect around hips”. The point of which we really can’t see, and assume accounts for the model’s forced-looking stance… Just to put the final nail in the coffin, it’s a polyester-cotton blend. Which probably explains the bargain price tag. Still, at this price at least you won’t suffer buyer’s remorse, once you realise what a huge, criminal mistake the wholle look is! Bianca animal jumpsuit, £20 from…

Fashion Police Glossary: The Dress-Like-a-Toddler Trend

The Dress Like a Toddler Trend is a fashion movement which, although not particularly widespread, has still proved to be popular with some people. Some people who feel that adults should dress like toddlers, that is. A large part of the Dress Like a Toddler Trend involves the wearing of adult onesies: These guys think they look really cute, quirky, and, like, totally adorable. They don’t have girlfriends. If they were in the comfort of their own home, it might be OK. (Unless, of course, they were hoping to get lucky that night, if you know what we mean). We’re not saying you can’t ever choose comfort over style, you see: we’re just saying that when you’re wearing the same…

Unsolved Mysteries: Alexander Wang Geometric Off-shoulder Onesie

Ah, that magical moment when evening-wear and onesies collide! We’re most confused by the tweed fabric used in this. When would you wear a tweed “onesie”? In some other fabric, and if, say, it had a skirt, rather than what appear to be cycling shorts at the bottom, it could just’ve worked – or at least been a whole lot less puzzling. Of course, that would defeat the whole purpose of the tweed onesie, though, and Alexander Wang wouldn’t be able to charge $395 for it. Ah, fashion!

Dress Like a Toddler Trend claims further victims: Opening Ceremony’s Max Suit

We’ve made no secret of the fact that we don’t really get the whole “Dress Like a Toddler” trend, or why adults would want to dress up as ickle wickle bunny wabbits and the like  – even in the privacy of their own homes. When the adults in question are prepared to pay $610 for their onesies, we’re even more confused: and the fact that this one is sold out at Opening Ceremony conforms, that yes, there are people willing to do exactly that. The mind boggles.