Adult Onesie, Crimes of Fashion

Adult Onesies: the ultimate roundup

If there’s one thing we’ve learned in the long year’s we’ve been Fashion Policing, it’s this: people love adult onesies. LOVE them. Seriously, you guys just can’t get enough of giant babygrows. We’re not saying you’re wearing them out of doors – not YET, anyway – but any post we write on the subject of adult onesies will normally elicit a bunch of comments which include frequent use of the phrase “But they’re so comfy!” As we believe that what people choose to wear in the comfort of their own home is no business of ours anyway, we will refrain from pointing out that this is exactly how people try to defend Crocs, too, and simply provide you with our ultimate list of Adult Onesies…

Adult Onesies: The Roundup

Argyle print adult onesieArgyle print adult onesie.

OK, we promised ourselves we wouldn’t make fun of these, but seriously: who’d want to sleep with this dude?

Adult onesies for couplesOh. OK.

You know, they look so happy in their adult onesies that it’s really hard to hate them, isn’t it?

Happy couple in adult onesiesOr maybe not.

Still, it’s impossible to imagine them having sex, isn’t it? (Not that we were trying to, you understand…)

Adult onesies with teddy bear printEspecially when they wear the ones(ies) with teddy bears all over them.

We know what you’re thinking, though. They look comfortable and all, but wouldn’t it be a bit inconvenient if you had to go to the bathroom?

Well, not really, no:

Drop-seat adult onesie with duck printMeet the drop-seat adult onesie. We love this model for trying to look sexy while wearing a pink onesie covered in ickle duckies.

Surely there must be adult onesies for the cool kids, though, we hear you ask?

Why, yes, now you come to mention it:

Cool dudes in adult onesiesWho could forget the Uni-Lazy?

(Answer: you can’t. We’ve tried.)

You’ll note that the wearers of the Uni Lazy are out in public in their adult onesies. We’re going to pretend we didn’t see that. For now.

There’s also the Forever Lazy:

Forever Lazy Adult OnesieIts makers were too lazy to come up with a wide range of patterns, so you just get three “stylish” colours. It’s the little black dress of adult onesies, only not really.

Adult onesies also make excellent Halloween costumes:

Adult onesies make excellent Halloween costumesYou’ll be beating off prospective suitors all night, we promise.*

Adult Onesie Halloween CostumesBefore you leave you to digest all of this, we just want to end this post with a warning: adult onesies may cause their wearers to adopt ridiculous poses:

Frog print adult onesiesYou will be powerless to resist this:

Blue adult onesieYou’ll also lose every ounce of sex appeal you ever had:

Adult onesie = no sex appealBUT – and it’s a very big “but”, people – you’ll be SO! COMFY!

So wear them and enjoy.


*No you won’t.

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