Sometimes the items we arrest are large, in-your-face fashion criminals: the kind of items of clothing which no one could possibly miss, were you to walk down the street in them. And sometimes they’re smaller, more subtle details, which still make us do a double take and wonder if some designer is trying to mess with us again.
This ear ring by Calourette falls into the latter category. Yes, those are two ears on the front. No, we can’t really think of a less likely object to put on a piece of jewellery. Well, have YOU ever looked in the mirror and thought to yourself: you know what this outfit needs? An extra pair of EARS! Because the two I have on my head just AREN’T ENOUGH. (If you have, you actually sound like the kind of person we’d love to have a drink with sometime. We bet you have some stories to tell…)
The fact that this ring is relatively small and unobtrusive, however, makes us see it almost as a Fashion Criminal badge of honour: a secret signal by which fashion criminals will be able to recognise each other, even if they’re not committing any obvious crimes in the rest of their outfit that day. It’s like the Peep Toe Boot Rule, only much more subtle.
Want to join the club? It’s £99 and you can click here to buy it at ASOS.
Sometimes what happens on the runway stays on the runway.
Other times, what happens on the runway filters through to retailers, and suddenly those wacky, experimental looks are actually available to buy and wear, in real life.
The Fall 2011 runways had more than their fair share of giant headgear (see Dior Couture, if you don’t believe us), and now you, too, can balance a giant object on top of your heads, thanks to these cherry headbands by Piers Atkinson, which are available to buy from Joy.com.
We think they look pretty cute on the model, in a strictly-editorial kind of way. What we want to know, though, is would you wear them? Have you secretly always wanted to wear a couple of giant cherries on your head? Do tell…
We know: you’re wondering what on earth we’re doing policing joke shops when we’re supposed to be a Fashion Police, aren’t you?
Bear with us: these may look like your typical prank glasses, the kind of thing you’d buy for Halloween, or to play a joke on a friend, but nope, they’re being sold at designer fashion emporium Colette, who say they are a “must have”. They also claim the brand has been seen on celebrities such as Lady Gaga, P Diddy and … Carine Roitfeld. OK, we can totally see Gaga in them, that’s for sure. And we wouldn’t put it past P Diddy, either. But we can only assume Carine Roitfeld wore another style from this brand, and NOT the glasses pictured. Because we just can’t see it somehow, can you?
More to the point, can you see YOURSELF wearing these? Well, they’re only about $35, so at least they don’t cost too much. This particular style has already sold out at Colette, but there are plenty more where those came from, and you can click here to view them all on the Nunettes website.
Well, that’s what Kate Benjamin of Moderncat wants you to think, anyway. In a bid to dispel the idea of the crazy cat lady, Kate got together with friend and jeweller Heidi Abramson to create a range of jewellery made from the hair of our feline friends.
Kate says, “I started with a good grooming session with several of the cats, then I hand-rolled each ball of cat fur into a tight bead. By rolling the loose fur between your palms, the strands become felted together, forming a solid little bead. Heidi then transformed the beads using her silversmithing skills and her amazing eye for modern design and voil…!”
The good news, then, is that by “hairball” we’re talking about hair directly from the cat’s body, not hair that’s just been hacked up. The bad news is that it’s still cat hair.
What do you think, catladies? Something you’d buy?
Sunglasses with fake (gold) eyebrows attached to them: why has no one done this before? (Other than joke stores selling Groucho Marx costumes, we mean.) Seriously, think of the possibilities for people who over-pluck, people who can’t be bothered to pluck, people with unibrows, eyebrow rugs, or just generally badly groomed eyebrows. Pop on a pair of sunglasses, et voila! Your eyebrows will be gold, but they will be perfect! (If you call this look “perfect”, that is. We don’t, but you might.)
Something we’ve noticed during our years on the Fashion Police beat, is that sunglasses tend to fall into two distinct categories. They’re all either:
a) Nice, but pretty unexciting.
or
b) Totally and utterly bizarre.
We’re sure we don’t need to tell you which category these ones fall into, do we?
Here’s what they look like on:
They’re actually a little less strange than we’d expected, although they do make up for it by being $685. We’ve had cars that cost less than that. Well, OK, not really, but we could have.
Think that price is totally justified? Then click here and get buying!
It’s cute. It’s whimsical. It looks like the kind of thing you’d pick up in Claire’s Accorssories, and pay less than £5 for.
But it’s not. Actually, this little cherry ring will set you back £819 / $1,332. Now, we’re going to assume that’s some kind of precious metal at the base (Colette haven’t specified what it’s made of), but even assuming it is: if we’ve just spent $1,332 on an item of jewellery, we kind of don’t want it to look like it could’ve come from Claire’s.
Is it just us? Would you pay that much for this ring? Click here if you answered in the affirmative…
OK, so they’d make a pretty cool Halloween prop, we’ll give them that.
But for the rest of the year? And for $200? That would be a “no” from us. Apparently it was a “yes” from everyone else, though, because these are already sold out at Colette.
