Crimes of Fashion

Topshop clear-panel mom jeans

Topshop clear panel mom jeans

When our officers spotted this photo doing the rounds on Twitter this morning, our first instinct was to check the calendar and make sure it wasn’t April 1st. But nope: it’s still only March 13th, so it’s way too early for April Fool’s… which means that these jeans must be real. Wow.

Having discovered THAT, our next assumption – also wrong, as it turned out – was that they must be from one of those cheap clothing websites that spring up every now and then, selling clothes normally described as “clubwear”, but what we’d probably describe as “fashion crimes, one and all.” Nope, though: again, we were wrong, because these are from Topshop. Which is about as mainstream as it gets in fashion, so… we’re scared, folks. We’re really scared.

Topshop clear panel mom jeansSo far, there are no reviews up on the Topshop website. There are, however, a few over at Nordstrom, where these are also available, with one reviewer excitedly noting that a) She’s not actually a mom, but these fit her anyway, and b) the clear panels will allow her to get “that super-fashionable skin through denim look,”even when it’s cold out. Well, at least that answers our usual question when faced with these kind of crimes – WHY? – and it also tells us, beyond doubt, that we’re obviously WAY too old for this fashion-policing game, because, when we see things like this, we just want to fall about laughing, as opposed to thinking how “super-fashionable” we could be if we were to wear them.

Still, we’ve long since accepted that we will never be super-fashionable, and we’re actually quite relieved about that, because it means we don’t have to provide our knees with little windows on the world. Whew! If, however, like another Nordstrom reviewer, you’ve “always loved your kneecaps,” then these could be exactly what you’ve been looking for…

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