Crimes of Fashion, Jeans

The New Way to Wear Denim

It looks like denim’s gotten out of control again, fashion force. As if all of those bizarre-looking frayed-hem jeans weren’t bad enough, now our officers also have things like this to content with:

R13 layered distressed jeans

These sold out at Net-a-Porter within a few days, despite the fact that:

a) They cost £630

and

b) They’re a skirt attached to a pair of jeans.

Let’s think about that last point for a minute, shall we? Imagine, if you will, getting dressed in the morning. You pull on your favourite pair of jeans, and add a pair of beat-up white sneakers to wear with them. So far, so good. Basic, but good. Then you look in the mirror. “There’s just something missing here,” you find yourself thinking: so you go to your closet, have a quick rummage, and finally pull out a denim mini skirt, which you put on OVER the top of the jeans. “NOW I’m ready!” you declare triumphantly: except, you don’t, do you? Because, unless you’re the kind of person who prides yourself on wearing strange and possibly uncomfortable clothes (Because, seriously: there’s nothing about denim-skirt-over-denim-jeans that sounds remotely comfortable, is there?), there’s no part of this scenario that makes sense. Not even if it was a NICE pair of jeans, and a NICE denim skirt.

We’re NOT going to be signing up to be alerted when these are back in stock, in other words. And we’re probably not going to rushing out to buy these ones, either:

turn up culottesOn the plus side, at least you wouldn’t have to carry a handbag with these: you could probably fit just about everything you’d need inside those massive turn-ups, huh? On the minus side, however… well, the mugshot pretty much speaks for itself here, doesn’t it? If you have $270 burning a hole in your pocket, and a hankering for a big ol’ hemline, however, you know exactly what to do…

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