Crimes of Fashion

Introducing the jumpsuit that’s also a dress

jumpsuit that turns into a dress for some reason

We are so confused right now.

ASOS describe this item as an “oversized jumpsuit dress”, which, they point out, “can be worn as a dress or as a jumpsuit”.  We have so many questions:

Question # 1: We get that it’s oversized. What we don’t understand is why it’s SO oversized. Like, “oversized” can look cute, and kinda sexy, in an effortless, “Oh yeah, I totally just stole my boyfriend’s shirt,” way… or it can just make you look like you’re wearing someone else’s clothes, and they really, REALLY don’t fit. The fact that this model is looking down at herself, as if to say, “What the HELL am I wearing here?” suggests to us that this outfit falls into the latter category.

Question # 2: How DO you convert it from a jumpsuit to a dress, anyway? There are no instructions on the site: is there a hidden hook, or button, or something, that you can use to make the change? And what would be the point, anyway? Given that the model’s having to adopt a “legs apart” pose in order to show us that it is, in fact, a jumpsuit in the image on the left, we’re thinking that if she were standing normally, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, anyway.

Question # 3: WHY? Just…. why? This is a question that comes up almost every time we look at jumpsuits, though, so we’ll admit to a degree of bias here. For instance:

baggy, shapeless jumpsuit: WHY?

This one doesn’t claim to be anything other than a regular old jumpsuit, but we’re still totally confused by the completely shapeless design, the “nude” colour, the way it makes the model’s body look like a rectangle…It’s prison-uniform chic, only without the “chic” bit, really.

Still, at least we know where to go next time we’re buying uniforms for the inmates of the Fashion Police jail!

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