OK, we’re declaring a state of emergency.
The fur shoes thing is getting out of hand. All summer we’ve watched as designers presented us with fur-covered shoe after fur-covered shoe. We hated them all, naturally – as far as we’re concerned, there’s never a good reason for a shoe to have fur on it, and whether it’s fake fur or not, it’s still always going to be a crime of fashion – but we bided our time and hoped it was just a flash-in-pan trend.
There are even MORE furry shoes on show as part of the autumn/winter collections, however, so the situation seems to be getting worse rather than better. And as soon as we saw these faux fur mules by our old nemesis, Maison Martin Margiela, we knew the situation was getting out of hand. Seriously, can you even imagine what these would look like on? Or how filthy that fur would get as you walked around in them? Because we can imagine it. We can imagine it all too clearly, and while there’s no denying that there would undoubtedly be a huge amount of comedic value in seeing people walk around with feet like Chewbacca, it’s still not something we want to encourage.
So we’re declaring a state of emergency.
If you see these shoes, call The Fashion Police.
If you see anything LIKE these shoes – still call The Fashion Police.
If you happen to look down one day, and THIS is what you see, meanwhile…
… you probably DON’T want to call The Fashion Police, because you just won’t like what we have to say. Instead, go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass ‘Go’. Do not collect $200. Because you’re committing crimes of fashion, and friends don’t let friends wear furry Chewbacca shoes, no matter how “on trend” they happen to be.