Crimes of Fashion

There’s Good News and There’s Bad News

Shopbop sale

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the Fashion Police jury: today we bring you good news rather than bad, as Shopbop are offering an extra 25% off their sale prices for the next three days. You’ll find all of the info in the image above: now go forth and shop, and remember that we’re counting on you to lead by example and help fight those crimes of fashion. Crimes like this one, for instance:

orange ASOS dress

Seriously, what are we even looking at here? Because, if we didn’t know better, we’d honestly think we were on a fancy dress website, and this was some kind of ‘medieval wench’ costume. But no, it’s from ASOS, so we suppose it’s “fashion”, albeit for petite people only, because this dress is exclusive to the ASOS Petite line. (What did petite people do to deserve this kind of treatment, we wonder? Why don’t they get to wear normal clothes, like everyone else?!) We’re big fans of the retro look, as some of you know, but we reckon this is taking a bit too far. We also reckon Game of Thrones probably has a lot to answer for here. A LOT to answer for…

We’re not sure this offering from Zara is a whole lot better, though, to be honest:

Zara autumn/winter 2015

It’s the shoes that do it, isn’t it? Like, the outfit would be bad enough on its own, we’re not denying that, but the shoes make the model’s feet look about 10 foot long. Maybe it’s just the camera angle? We really hope it’s just the camera angle, but, well, this is from the autumn/winter collection, and if this is the shape of things to come, then all we can say is that it’s going to be a REALLY long winter. Literally, if the shoes really ARE as weirdly elongated as they appear to be in the photo. Someone hold us…

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