Crimes of Fashion

Festival Fashion Crimes

We realise we’re beating a dead horse here, but…

http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Unitard-In-Tie-Dye-With-Ombre-Fringing/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5102693&cid=2623&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=36&sort=-1&clr=Multi&totalstyles=395&gridsize=3

We’re not OK with this. We don’t think we’ll ever really be OK with unitards in a non-dance-related setting (By which we mean, “worn by dancers, gymnasts, etc – not simply “worn on the dancefloor”), but this one is troublesome on so many levels. The plunging neckline, from which the model’s boobs look to be in danger of escaping at any moment; the strange fringing, which makes it look more like a fancy dress costume than an actual item of clothing; THE SHOES.

OK, we realise the unitard can’t technically be blamed for the shoes, but there seems to be some un-written rule in fashion right now which states that if you’re going to wear an outfit like this, you may as well wear it with huge, clumpy shoes, so it kind of IS to blame, really.

festival fashion

What’s really to blame for this – and countless other items like it – however, is the fact that, as PR companies never tire of telling us, “Festival season is just around the corner!” Festivals, you see, have their own strange dress code, which prompts people to adopt “costumes” which are totally different from the kind of clothes they’d normally wear, in the belief that “that’s what you’re supposed to wear to a festival”.  So there must be something with fringing. Something tie-dye. Something with feathers tacked onto it. Anything that looks like Kate Moss might give it a second glance: you know the kind of thing.

This one is even described as a “festival unitard“:

festival unitard

So, now you know what to wear to a festival, the one saving grace is that those clumpy, strappy shoes probably won’t seem like such a good idea when you’re up to your elbows in mud, which means people will be more likely to wear these with wellies instead. Will they look better or worse with a pair of Hunter boots? You decide…

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