Crimes of Fashion

Half dress, half-jacket

It’s not often you hear people wondering aloud how they can make their legs looks SHORTER – and by that we mean “it’s not EVER”.

Nevertheless, Incotex have set out to find the solution to this totally imaginary problem, and we think they’ve managed it too, with these trousers:

trousers for sort legs

Ta da! These will make your legs instantly look out of proportion to the rest of your body, so if that’s what you were aiming for, you now know how to do it. There’s no need to thank us.

What if your problem isn’t that your legs are too long, though? What if your problem is that you want to make it clear to everyone that you’re not like all of us ordinary people, but are, in fact, a wacky, zany person, who just doesn’t care about the usual conventions attached to clothes? This ought to do it:

half dress, half-jacket

 

Half-jacket, half-dress, it’s the ultimate in unconventional dressing, and it’s also a snip at £1,500. The only issue we can see with this one is that, in order to get the full effect from it, you’re going to have adopt an “Angelina Jolie at the Oscars” stance for the entire night, with one leg thrust aggressively forward at all times. If you try to stand normally, you see, you’ll run the risk of the skirt part covering both legs, and just looking like a NORMAL skirt, and we can’t have that, can we?

If you’re worried about looking too conventional, however, you can always count on Jeremy Scott to come to the rescue. May we suggest pairing the dress/jacket about with these shoes, for instance?

Jeremy Scott teddy bear slides

Because nothing says ‘edgy’ quite like wearing a pair of decapitated teddy bears on your feet, does it?

Until next time, Fashion Force: keep fighting those crimes of fashion!

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