Crimes of Fashion, Dresses

Dresses can be fashion crimes too

lace overlay maxi dress

[Buy it here]

Last week we mentioned that, when it comes to fashion crimes, trousers seem to commit more than their fair share of them. Well, let the record show that dresses aren’t totally innocent either. Take the dress above, for instance. Now, we’re going to bet that a lot of you will like this. It has that whole, “Look, I’m naked under this meagre smattering of lace!” look going on, and people seem to LOVE that for some reason. We don’t, needless to say – we’ve actually had nightmares in which we’re out in public wearing just a meagre smattering of lace – but it’s not the top half of the dress we want to talk about today: it’s that weird trim around the ankles: a trim that makes it look like the model has been shackled at the legs. It’s even worse from the side view:

ASOS long lace dress

It’s just hard to escape the impression that she isn’t wearing a skirt, but has loosely tied her legs together at the ankles. Which is odd, really.

Then there’s this:

Vivienne westwood dress

[Buy it here]

You’d never guess this was £1,000 and designed by Vivienne Westwood, would you? Because it looks like the kind of thing you might hastily cobble together from the contents of an old linen drawer, if you woke up one morning and discovered that all of your clothes had mysteriously gone missing. But no, it’s a dress which costs more than some people’s rent: amazing!


Relax dress

[Buy it here]

We don’t know about you, but we’d find it quite hard to “relax” in this, because we’d be so busy hiding around corners and hoping no one we knew saw us in our ironic fashion-statement dress and ugly sandals. Would it be worth it to know that we were super-edgy, in a way that most people wouldn’t even be able to understand? We’re going to go with “no”…

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