Crimes of Fashion, Dresses

Guess What It Is

dress or bag

Anyone feel like hazarding a guess at what this is? Without cheating by scrolling down the page for the answer, we mean?

Is it a sleeping bag? A tent? Some kind of Ikea lampshade cover? Because it totally looks like an Ikea lampshade cover, don’t you think?

It isn’t, though. Although we’d possibly like it better if it was. No, this colourful item is, in fact…

designer dress

[Buy it]

..a designer dress! Which will cost you £1,172.53. One. Thousand. One. Hundred. And Seventy Two. Pounds. And fifty-three pence. Nope, it doesn’t get any easier to believe the more you say it. Quite the opposite, in fact. What people choose to spend their money on is their business, obviously, but we have to say, if someone said they were buying us a £1,ooo designer dress, and we opened the box to find this inside, we’d have a hard time coming up with an appropriate “present face”, wouldn’t you? Because this? This looks like an Ikea lampshade, as we’ve noticed. One from the children’s department. On clearance. It also makes the model look like a cartoon character, and reminds us of a couple of our fashion guidelines, namely:

01. If you can’t instantly work out what kind of garment it is, it’s probably a crime of fashion.

02. If it makes models look bad, there is no hope for the rest of us.

03. No item of clothing should look like it came from Ikea.

In a bid to cleanse our palettes, so to speak, we had a look around for something we might actually like from this brand. Seeing the words “voluminous brocade skirt”, we thought we’d struck gold: we DO love a big skirt after all!

voluminous brocade skirt

Er, maybe not quite this big, though. We have to admit, though: something like this would come in really handy on public transport – you’d have all the space you needed!

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