Crimes of Fashion

Denim is about to get ugly

ripped denim dress

Be honest: you’d hide your face from the camera too if you were wearing something that looked like this, wouldn’t you?

Today, Fashion Force, we’re the bearer of bad tidings: denim is going to get really ugly this year. And we thought it was bad enough LAST year!

The item at the top of the page (er, whatever it is…) is a dress (or so we’re reliably informed), and here’s what it looks like from the front:

short denim dress

To think we’re not even halfway through January, and already we have a contender for the Most Awkward Pose of the Year Award, too! Oh, fashion, you’re really spoiling us!

(Note the presence of the now-ubiquitous ugly shoes in this outfit, readers. Every time someone wears shoes like these, a baby uniciorn dies. True story.)

We’re not here to talk about the dress, though. We’re here to talk about this year’s upcoming 70s revival, and how it will bring a whole lot of denim disasters our way. There will be frumpy skirts:

frumpy denim skirt

(Aaand there goes another baby unicorn! Won’t someone please stop this madness?!)

There will be incredibly expensive embroidery:

Christopher Kane embroidered jeans

There will be high-waisted flares, worn with matching chambray shirts:

high-rose flared jeans

(Some of you will probably be OK with the high-rise jeans. That’s OK… just so long as you resist the temptation to wear them with a matching denim jacket…)

Finally, there will be dungarees/overalls/whatever you want to call them:

denim overalls

It’s the dungarees that cause us most concern. The fact is, with the exception of the flared jeans (which can totally work if done right), most people won’t bother trying to wear the other items on this page. People WILL try to wear dungarees, though, and this is a problem because – forgive our bluntness – most people don’t look good in denim overalls. In fact, most people look downright awful in them: truth. (Or they look like toddlers in them, and you all know how we feel about THAT.)

All of these fashion crimes are coming to a city near you, as part of the spring/summer 2015 70s-revival. Don’t say we didn’t warn you…

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