Crimes of Fashion, Trousers/Pants

Help fight these terrible trouser crimes

Please note, Fashion Force: this is not a drill. These are not simply expensive Halloween costumes – even although they look like they are. These are actual fashion items, designed to be worn in your day-to-day life. Tell us, though: would you wear these?

sheer trousers

[Buy them here for £432]

It’s testament to the length of time we’ve been in the fashion crime-fighting business that our first thought upon seeing these wasn’t, “OMG, see-through pants!” but “Well, at least they’re not TOTALLY sheer…” And they’re not. There are some embroidered sections to, er, protect your modesty. Just make sure you wear your best undies with them: we’ll know if you don’t.

ugly ripped drop crotch jeans

[Buy them here for £165]

We’ve been fighting the good fight against dropped crotches and heavily distressed denim for many years now: these drop crotch capri jeans combine both of those crimes, in an appalling double-whammy. In related news, we’re also thinking of issuing an amnesty on Birkenstocks. If you wear them for non fashion-related reasons, you can feel free to keep at it, but if you bought a pair of Birkenstocks just because they were “trendy”, and you can’t stand the thought of not being “bang on trend”, surely you must be wondering if you’ve been the victim of a long-running practical joke by now? We’ll set up a safe place, you can all bring your ironic Birkenstocks (“But they’re so comfy!” you will cry, just as people did with Crocs and Adult Onesies…) and we’ll say no more about it: deal?

Finally:

ugly trousers

[Buy them here for £55]

If these were pyjamas, we’d wonder who on earth would buy them, given that there are so many other, cuter, options out there.

They’re not pyjamas.

Our question still stands.

What do you think of these crimes of fashion? Are there any you’d wear? 

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