Crimes of Fashion

The Foot Snatcher Strikes at Haider Ackermann

The Foot Snatcher is a dangerous fashion criminal who snatches the feet of unsuspecting fashion victims. The Snatcher’s usual weapon of choice is a pair of overly-long pants, however, as these poor models discovered, there are other ways to snatch feet, too:


Buy it here for £1650

We THINK that’s a skirt, but it could also be long pants. Or it could simply be a blanket wrapped around the model’s waist. What we DO know is that it surely has to be hard to walk with all of that fabric swirling around your feet ,no? Hard, and also kinda filthy. Imagine the hems of that skirt/trouser/whatever it is after a short stroll along the average city street. Now imagine them after a quick trip to the average public restroom. We hope you weren’t eating while you were reading this.

(We guess people who can afford to spend £1650 on an item of clothing probably don’t use public restrooms, OR walk along city streets, for that matter. They’re probably carried everywhere on a litter or something. Nice work, if you can get it…)

The same issues apply here:

too long pants

[Buy here for £1245]

This image at least solves the mystery: they’re definitely trousers. And they’re so long the hems protrude far beyond the tips of the wearer’s toes, for maximum ‘I’ve Had My Feet Snatched’ effect.

Now, look: we don’t object to long coats, maxi-length dresses, or trousers that just about touch the floor. We do, however, have a problem with having to actually walk on top of our clothing, which, apart from anything else, can’t possibly be good for it, can it?

If Foot Snatching is your jam, however, you may be interested to know that The Snatcher has a new accomplice these days. Introducing The Hand Snatcher!

oversized sweater

[Buy it for £460]

For that slouchy, relaxed look. And also for those days when you don’t actually have to use your hands, we assume…

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