Crimes of Fashion

Well, this is awkward.

Some fashions are ugly. Some are just plain awkward. Others, meanwhile, manage to be both ugly AND awkward. Which category would you put this one in… if any?

designer patchwork cape

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It kinda looks like this Peter Pilotto cape (£790 at Louisa Via Roma) has basically jumped up and grabbed the poor model, who, on the plus side, is surely keeping nice and warm under her blanket-like cape.

What about this example?

trousers with attached apron

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Trousers. With an apron attached. These are a throwback to the “skirt over trousers” look that was briefly popular in the late 90s, and which always made the wearer look like she REALLY wanted to just wear the skirt, but was too scared to show her legs, so decided to just double-up instead. Our philosophy has always been that you either wear a skirt OR a trousers: never both. We’d honestly rather see leggings under a skirt than trousers, but ultimately we’d rather not see clothes being stuck together AT ALL. Free the stuck-together-clothes!

curse shirt

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Well, this one is REALLY awkward. It’s awkward that there are people out there who think cursing is, like, really cool and edgy, for one thing. It’s also awkward, however, in the “where could you wear it, without fear of insulting someone” sense? Seriously: who’re YOU calling a *&^**^ ?!

And then there’s this:

patched up trench coat

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$4,500 to buy a coat which has been cunningly crafted to look like it’s been pulled out of a dumpster, and patched together with duct tape and any old rubbish you could get your hands on? Now that really IS awkward…

What do you think of this collection of style suspects? Are you happy for us to drag them all off to the jailhouse, or would you like to speak in their defence?

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