Crimes of Fashion

Shorts Horror | Au Jour le Jour lip printed shorts

lip printed short-shorts

[Buy them here for £242]

The placement of the tongue on the crotch.

The butt-cheeks hanging out of the super-short hem.

The knee socks.

The stiletto-heeled slippers.

The old “where on earth would you wear them?” question.

The idea of paying £242 to look like… this.

There’s just so many things about these shorts that makes us want to reach for our citation pads and book them for multiple crimes of fashion.

But let’s be honest: it’s mostly the placement of the tongue on the crotch.

In other news, meanwhile:

oversized furry hat

[Buy it here for £570]

This is a hat.

We know it doesn’t necessarily LOOK like a hat, but trust us: it’s a hat. And not just any old hat, either: this is a £570 alpaca fur hat. With visor. And THIS is what a £570 hat looks like on:

furry hat

On the  plus side, we bet it’s REALLY warm. That’ll come in handy when your vision is so obscured by it that you wander far off the beaten track and end up having to shelter inside your furry hat overnight. Aren’t fashion designers clever to think of things like that?  And here were we, thinking the LAST lot of hats we arrested were a little bit OTT! Are hats taking over from shoes as the new master-criminals of the fashion world? Will there be lots and lots of people wandering around with things like this on their head this winter? If there are, at least they’ll be easy enough to arrest: we don’t think anyone will be going anywhere fast with one of these guys balanced on their head, do you?

P.S. Once you’ve had your fill of fashion crime reports, please check out The Fashion Police’s sister sites, Forever Amber and ShoeperWoman, for more fashion and lifestyle content!

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