Crimes of Fashion, Shoes

More strange shoes: crimewave continues

We usually leave most of the shoe talk to ShoeperWoman, but right now there are just too many ugly shoes out there for her to handle, so we’re stepping in to make a few arrests.

As ShoeperWoman observed earlier this week, footwear fashion is going through something of an awkward stage at the moment. There are Birkenstocks. There are those clumpy white sandals with the giant platform soles. There are… these:

Charlotte Olympia Hands shoes

Charlotte Olympia ‘Hands On’ sandals, £755

Shoes. Made out of… hands. Not REAL hands, obviously. That would creepy. And this… isn’t? Selfridges tactfully say these will “have everyone looking twice.” Well, that’s certainly ONE way to put it. Charlotte Olympia isn’t the only one trying to make hands on shoes happen, though:

Vivetta Hands flatforms

Vivetta ‘HAnds’ flatforms, £281

We consider most flatforms to be crimes of fashion, so to be completely honest, the creepy hands are the least of worries here. But back to Charlotte Olympia:

Charlotte Olympia platforms

Charlotte Olympia platforms, $946

Some people have the same reaction to Charlotte Olympia platforms as we have to any pair of FLATforms. Those people probably won’t have a lot of love for the little climbers on the heels of these ones: we, meanwhile, just hope the little dudes don’t fall off – it’s a long, long way down…

And as for these:

furry boots

LD Tuttle ‘The Bone’ leather boots, £606

It’s almost as if the designer finished making a relatively inoffensive pair of boots, then thought, “Wait: how can I make these uglier? I know! Fur!” And seriously, while we’re on the subject, what’s with all the furry footwear around lately? Is this going to be A Thing this winter? If so, someone please tell us now, so we can call in some re-inforcements…

What do you think of these shoes, officers? Are they crimes of fashion, or would you wear any of them?

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