We know we’ve been bringing you a lot pf shoe-related arrests lately, but as we mentioned in our last crime report, shoes have become the master criminals of the fashion world. The ringleaders, if you will. Never has there been a time in which ugly footwear was quite so prevalent: footwear like THIS:
Thom.Solo x Solestruck Dahlia’ boots, $299.95
We’d imagine some of you will like these, and think they’re pretty. Because those are flowers on the platform, after all, and flowers are pretty, yes? Well, yes, but here’s the problem: those are FLOWERS on the platform. When we first looked at them, we assumed the wearer of the boots had stepped in something nasty, and not bothered to wipe it off. Once it’s been seen, it can’t be unseen, so that’s basically spoiled THESE for us. (Er, not that we’d have necessarily wanted a pair of giant platform boots in the first place, you understand…)
Jeffrey Campbell ‘Pepe’, $149.95
We thought Jeffrey Campbell had been keeping it quiet on the fashion crime front lately… then we found these. Trust ‘ol JC to jump right aboard the “fur-heel” bandwagon, huh? These ‘Pepe’ shoes are similar in shape to the DSquared2 pumps we arrested a couple of weeks ago: same square heel, same inexplicable use of fur, same chance of getting you arrested by The Fashion Police. We really hope this heel isn’t going to be a trend: we don’t think there are enough Fashion Police officers in the world to handle a Lita-esque crimewave…
On the subject of Jeffrey Campbell:
Again, the industrial feel of these boots will really appeal to some people, while others will hate them for exactly the same reasons. Such is the beauty of fashion: one woman’s fashion crime is another woman’s Most Wanted: what we want to know is where YOU stand. What do you think of the footwear in our lineup: which ones (if any) do you want us to arrest?