Crimes of Fashion

Fashion Crime Friday | Sock brogues and other crimes of fashion

Greetings, Fashion Police readers and officers. We begin this Fashion Crime Friday roundup with the disturbing news that Shopbop’s strange obsession with what they describe as “chap jeans” is still in full force:

chap jeans

Suspect #1| R13 knitted chap jeans, $495

Leggings stuck to shorts, and then attacked by Jack the Clothes Ripper. With multiple charges against them, these things are never getting out of of Fashion Police jail, are they? Oh, and we don’t love the shoes either: they’re creating an uncomfortable looking “toe overhang”, and no one likes an over-hanging toe, do they?

As bad as our first suspects may be, however, they’re actually not the WORST trousers we arrested this week. THESE were the worst trousers we arrested this week:

bad boyfriend jeans

Suspect # 2 | Nasty Gal ‘Hole in One’ jeans, $88

This is what happens when 80s mom jeans have a run-in with Jack the Clothes Ripper. That dude’s been busy this week, apparently, and he’s left these jeans in such a state we thought we were looking at some kind of strange shorts-and-leggings combo at first glance. And also at second glance. Actually, it doesn’t matter how many glances we give these: the holes are so large it creates the impression that the top half of the jeans has separated from the bottom half. We feel cold just looking at them.

Next up, a blatant act of Daylight Robbery:

Marni visor

Suspect # 3 | Marni embellished satin-canvas visor, £430

We can’t decide whether this is a crime of fashion, or just a really strange way to spend £430 and not have a whole lot to show for it. Either way, it looks like visors will be in fashion this season. Brace yourselves…

Finally:

sock brogues

Suspect # 4 | Sock brogues, 350 EUR

These shoes have a pair of “socks” attached to them, just in case you find it too difficult to match shoes and socks for yourselves. You don’t, though, do you? You’re much too clever for that. And also much too clever to even THINK of wearing white socks with black shoes, we hope. Please tell us we’re right…

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