Happy Fashion Crime Friday, everyone! As today is Valentine’s Day (Which is MUCH less important than the fact that it’s Fashion Crime Friday, but anyway…) we thought we’d start off with something pink and girlie:
[buy it here]
Suspect # 1 | Ammerman Schlosberg ‘Lolita’ dress
If you’re into the ‘Lolita’ style this dress is named after, you might just want us to set this one free. Then again, the fact that bail has been set at the retail price of $2,760 might make you think twice about that…
Sticking with Opening Ceremony for the moment:
[Buy them here]
After all these years, you’d think leggings would have become “normalised” to the point where they’d lose their ability to attract our attention, but something about these ones strikes us a particularly ugly. We’re not sure if it’s the high waist or the watermelon print (which, combined with the matching top, makes the model look like a human watermelon: nice), but whatever it is, we’re not fans. Note also, the appearance here of the “sensible shoes” we wrote about last week. Needless to say, we’re not fans of these either: we would’t have thought it was possible to make these leggings look worse than were to start with, but somehow they’ve managed it!
Still, if you don’t want to wear the matching top with these, you could always wear this instead:
[Buy it here]
Suspect # 3 | Fendi goat hair sweater
That’d put hairs on your chest, that would. Alpaca goat hairs, to be precise. Lord save us all from high end “fashion”…
Speaking of which, next up we have these:
The fact that they’re covered in sequins doesn’t come nearly close enough to making up for the fact that these are the type of destroyed denim shorts that we wouldn’t have wanted to wear even if they WEREN’T destroyed. Or if they weren’t £604, for that matter.
Finally, and for something a little bit different;
This dress is described by the retailer as “great for layering”. If they mean “layering under something that covers it completely”, we’re down with that. Otherwise, we think it could be a crime of fashion.